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Thread: In love... Need advice!

  1. #1
    CrazyinLove12 is offline Neophyte
    Join Date
    Jul 2012

    Question In love... Need advice!

    I wasn't sure where would be an appropriate place to post this, sorry if it's the wrong area.

    So here is my issue I've found myself in love with a man 20 years older than me and I don't know what to do?

    We've been friends for around 7 years now, and I see him quite regularly. I've always been attracted to him, which I use to try ignore because I knew he was older and at the time I was around 19 so I thought I was a bit odd.

    It's been in the past 4 years that I noticed myself falling. I noticed that I enjoyed his company and as we've gotten closer over the years I've just completely fallen in love with him.

    Until recently I found it easier to deal with, as he was in a long term relationship so I kind of had to accept that it would never happen, but then they split up, and suddenly it seemed like I had a chance?!

    Now I'm completely torturing myself, because I would love to be with him, but realistically I don't see it ever happening.
    I would hate to tell him how I feel and be rejected and heartbroken and then still have to see him.

    I hate that I think about him so much and just don't know what to do?
    I have no idea if he knows if I like him? I have no idea what he thinks about me?!

    I've tried ignoring my feelings, but that didn't work and now it's impossible, and I've tried going out with other people, and that just highlights how much I want him!
    I don't know if he would want to be with a woman 20 years younger than him?
    I've tried talking to friends but they mostly think I'm crazy and laugh about it, or give me really stupid game playing advice, which I'm not gonna do!

    What can I do? Should I tell him or make a move, or should I just accept that I've fallen for someone I can't ever have?

  2. #2
    soul is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    I assume if you have known him 7 years? you have a fairly good friendship, is there a way you could ask him out for a coffee as 'friend' just to test the waters ?
    Chances are, he wouldn't think you'd be interested in him because of your age, but im sure would be flattered if he knew.
    thatoneperson likes this.

  3. #3
    gorillagirl Guest
    just hang out as friends and see what happens. if he does not SHOW YOU any signs of attraction/wanting more from the friendship, wait a few months before disclosing any romantic feelings. just contact him more frequently (now that the ex is gone, he probably has more free time) and just be together without any expectations. go slow. breathe!
    thatoneperson likes this.

  4. #4
    marklogan51 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006

    What do you have to lose?

    No body wants to be rejected. However if you are interested in this man, then make the effort. Invite him to dinner, or just have a starbucks together. Since you have known him for 7 yrs then you may have an idea what his interest are? Be honest. You might be suprised. I would be flatered myself


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