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Thread: 8 years

  1. #1
    randomname is offline Neophyte
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    8 years

    I am currently speaking with a lad that is eight years my senior. We met online and have been speaking for roughly a year. I am currently enrolled in multiple college courses, but I am still enrolled in high school (senior year). Due to miss communication, but mostly dishonesty on my part, he is under the impression I am attending a university. Dishonesty is obviously not something that should be present in a budding relationship, and I know I need to shed some clarity on the situation. Unfortunately, I'm just not quite sure how to go about it. The age gap is already pretty large, and I feel as though this could end it.

  2. #2
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    Hi Randomname.

    I'm presuming that you're at least 18 years old?

    I think the dishonesty is your problem. When I was 30 I met a girl who was 20 and we had a good relationship in the beginning, but it had problems. It was a long distance relationship. She told me she was taking classes "at the college", so I presumed she was a college student. It turned out the "classes" were for her GED because she dropped out of high school, and they were conveniently held on a college campus so she could say that without "lying". When I finally broke up with her my main reason was that she always bent the truth to suit her needs.

    When you meet people under false pretenses you put yourself in a bind. I would just be honest with him and let the chips fall where they may. Once you get into your college years an 8 year difference is no big deal anymore.
    Last edited by SummerBob; 03-03-2017 at 09:08 AM.
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

  3. #3
    Slow Worm's Avatar
    Slow Worm is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomname View Post
    mostly dishonesty on my part, he is under the impression I am attending a university. Dishonesty is obviously not something that should be present in a budding relationship, and I know I need to shed some clarity on the situation.
    How did you get such a silly pickle? You need to tell him the truth. If he takes fright and clears off, you can't do much about it. Hopefully he will appreciate that your now being truthful shows that you feel the relationship is getting too close for pretenses.

    I experienced something a bit like this from the other side, but decades ago now. I was 20 and in a relationship with a woman of (she said) 44. She was very secretive about my seeing any personal papers of hers, which I thought odd. Then one day she told me she had something to say that she was worried about. It turned out she was really 47 and for some crazy reason had told me she was 44 when we first met - as if it would make a difference. She was quite relieved that I laughed so much.

    The age gap is already pretty large
    No it isn't - this site has had members with much bigger age gaps. My wife is 13 years older than me and we have been together since 1992.

    SW

  4. #4
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    When my now husband and I met online I was pretending I was someone else. I used a fake name, fake nationality, and fake age. Why? Because I could, and it was fun to change identities very fluidly. Anyways, when I met him I told him I was 28 (I was 43), I could look like 28 in pictures, with the right light. He was also under a fake identity and told me he was 18, while he was 23. When we became friends, I started telling the truth about where I was from, my real name, but I told him I was 32. A few days later I told him I was 35. And a few days later I told him my real age. At this point he was afraid I was going to keep going up until I reached 80. But what the heck, it was an online friendship, not real life, and we were never going to meet. But one day we did.

    So my suggestion is that you tell the truth, if you are at least 18. If you are not, you better say good bye, because you do not want to get him in trouble with the law.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  5. #5
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    Why would someone say they're 18 when they're 23? I'd KILL to be 23!!!!!!!
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

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