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Thread: My Best Friend's Dad

  1. #1
    flowers is offline Neophyte
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    My Best Friend's Dad

    Hey guys, this is my first post here so I hope I'm getting everything right. I actually sought this forum out in the hopes of finding a non-judgmental place to talk about what's been going on for me lately.

    So, anyway, here goes. I'm 22 and at the end of last year I graduated from university. I got offered a graduate job close to the town I grew up in and decided to move back to my parents so that I could save money while I worked. It's been nice to spend more time with my parents and I'm saving a lot of money while I do a job that I really enjoy. One drawback, however, is that the majority of my friends stayed in the places they went to university, so since I've been back I haven't really had a great social life. I broke up with my boyfriend shortly before I finished university and my only romantic relationships since then have been a few guys from Tinder and stuff that I didn't really click with. One positive of my lacking social life is that I've been working out A LOT and I'm in the best shape of my life. I've learned to really enjoy exercising as well. It was through this that I came to meet up with someone I hadn't seen for a while, my best friend's dad.

    We coincidentally ran into each other (no pun intended) while out running a few months back. His daughter is my best friend and has been since we were 13, so we've spent a lot of time at each other's houses and I've gotten to know her dad quite well. I had a big teenage crush on him when I was younger, but figured it had gone away. Anyway, we got to talking and I half-jokingly suggested that we should go running together sometime. We ended up doing just that. We started going running together pretty much every day, and he also offered to let me use his home gym since he had a pretty good set-up. I took him up on the offer since he had most of the equipment I use anyway, and it saves me money to not pay a gym membership.

    Well, since then we've been working out a lot together as well. We've become really close, and I truly consider him a very close friend now. We've also started hanging out a lot outside of working out, we go on day trips, go for drinks and we've even been camping together since both of us really enjoy the outdoors. As well as enjoying his friendship, I've kind of developed feelings for him. He's smart, funny, we have a great time together and have many similar interests and I'm also really attracted to him. The people in my life have obviously noticed the amount of time I've been spending with him and have commented on it. My best friend has joked that I'm going to be her new stepmother, although I'm fairly sure she's always been joking when she said it. My mum also recently talked to me about things. My parents had a barbecue and invited him, and obviously we spent a lot of the time hanging out together and talking. Afterwards my mum asked me what our relationship was. When I said we were just friends she said that we made a nice couple. I decided to tell her about my attraction to him, but that we couldn't really be together because of our age difference and the nature of our relationship. She told me that she was glad to see me the happiest I've been in a long time and that she would support me and him being together.

    It really got me thinking about the way I feel about him and whether I should just tell him how I feel. I'm pretty certain he is attracted to me as well and there have been times when we're alone together where it seems like something might happen between us, but one or both of us always stops it before anything happens. Am I crazy to be considering this? I'm completely head over heels for him, but I worry about what could happen. Sorry to unload a big wall of text on you all, but I haven't had many people that I can talk to about this so it's all just kind of spilled out haha.

    Any help anyone could give would be really helpful. I'm just glad to have found somewhere where I can say this without (hopefully) being judged too harshly.

  2. #2
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    Welcome

    Hi Flowers, and welcome to Ageless!

    You're plenty old enough to be with anyone you choose, and since you're out of college you're very close to being completely independent and on your own. Therefore, the age gap itself is not a problem at all, in my opinion. Since you have a very close friendship with this man that has developed over a long time, and you share many things in common, you're attraction to each other is not just an infatuation.

    The only issue I see is the awkward family circumstance surrounding it. The fact that he's your best friend's father, you've known them since you were a child and he's a friend of the family makes the circumstance a little sticky. However, the fact that your mom approves and supports your potential relationship is a good sign. If you sense that the attraction is mutual, then I say go for it and let him know how you feel.
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

  3. #3
    Magnolia is offline Neophyte
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    Hi Flowers,

    Welcome to the forum.

    You need to know if the attraction is mutual or not. It is very important. Else instead of building a nice relationship few relationships will be destroyed.

    You also need to know what your best friend thinks about you and her father. May be she is joking now but she may not like if you have a relationship with her father.

    I wish you all the best.

  4. #4
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    I am assuming he is not married, right? Apart from that, I loved reading your story, and you should think about maybe going to the movies or dinner or somewhere more like a date?
    Do not worry about your gf. If she gets mad, she will get over it. Or start calling her miha (short for "mi hija" in Spanish, my daughter).
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  5. #5
    flowers is offline Neophyte
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    Update

    Hey guys, sorry it's been a while. I just thought I'd let you all know that I have some good news! Not long after I posted here, me and BFD were hanging out and having a few drinks. One thing led to another and he finally kissed me! We talked about our relationship and realised that we both felt the same, so we decided to give things a try. We kept things secret for a few weeks, but my best friend came home to visit this weekend so we decided to tell her. She was pretty surprised, but ultimately she was ok with us being together. I'm so happy, I haven't stopped smiling since the night things all started. Anyway, just thought I would let you guys know

  6. #6
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Quote Originally Posted by flowers View Post
    Hey guys, sorry it's been a while. I just thought I'd let you all know that I have some good news! Not long after I posted here, me and BFD were hanging out and having a few drinks. One thing led to another and he finally kissed me! We talked about our relationship and realised that we both felt the same, so we decided to give things a try. We kept things secret for a few weeks, but my best friend came home to visit this weekend so we decided to tell her. She was pretty surprised, but ultimately she was ok with us being together. I'm so happy, I haven't stopped smiling since the night things all started. Anyway, just thought I would let you guys know
    Fantastic, keep us posted!
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  7. #7
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    That's great news!
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

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