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Thread: Where should I start off with a OW?

  1. #1
    willfreund Guest

    Post Where should I start off with a OW?

    This has been bugging me and turning me off to the OW scene.I have been trying real hard to start a relationships with a clean* single Older woman.Basicly I have talked a few Older Woman in real life and on ageless and always come the same two problems.When it comes time to move the relationship along (starts as friend or GF)The As soon as I say what im looking for a relationship,hinting a Long term relationship, The OW get insecure it seems and give excuses why they cant.The next I get that they just want to chat, or be FWB .Its funny so far I have had 3 Ow on the opposite, of 40-60 that just want playmates!Isnt one of the reasons you dont hang out with yw(unless your a older guy)...It seems anytime I bring up I want to be more than friends the relationship dies, and If I just want to be friends In the purpose they need me to be a friend first before they feel secure enough for a relationsip multiple woman think im just looking for fun then! I mean I just cant get what woman are thinking in what they say or post.I swear for the ones I met online you With some you dont post ad or personal that your looking for a Relationship then after the first get together, normally romantic (in a light petting kind of way) The become insecure and say they cant handle relationships or give excuses.I want to say they are the problem but I Rarely see this opposite, anti-relationship kind of behavior at ageless.
    *Note- For the next opinion, It wouldnt make sense if I didnt tell you Im 18 years old (19 in 27 days, not totally green but I hate that persona of being 18, and the common conception that people around my age are just immature fun seekers)
    I was just thinking maybe all it is is the simple act of me talking of why im with them, my words of choice of when I or They bring up why am Im with them, someone who at my age should be drinking, being with friends and running around in circles looking for fun..Maybe you cant be true to yourself for a relationship and what you want.I dont know but I cant get any experience in this little relationship stopper if I cant get into a relationship.I dont have anyone (besides Teresa ^^) I feel comfortible in My life to ask about this so I feel the best place to ask is in Ageless love.For me ageless is a place of turmoil, and slightly going towards a dead website except for the regulars Yet I feel comfortible with you guys, And its the Last website I know of that Deals with this in a good manner. I know theres Tops ROm and a few yahoo groups but those are the last place I feel like regestering, I dont know about tops(Points evil eye in marks direction) but I think this is the only true relationship support site for Age gapped relationships.

    * (none,or little emotional/physical baggage, the opposite of woman who just are needy,want money,have ex's that hang around, basiclyI dont look for woman with problems that would make it very hard to work, or undesirable, Im not a a clingy or caretaker kind of guy)[/SIZE]
    *I Feel bad about mentioning the other sites, but I did it make a point showing my support for ageless, please Keep posts Straying away to that subject Of the other "websites" away from this thread
    Last edited by willfreund; 03-26-2005 at 07:25 PM. Reason: Html error, size 4 means its 4 times bigger...

  2. #2
    deb100855 Guest
    Timing might be an issue. I wouldn't want to commit to a long term relationship with someone until we'd been dating for quite some time. I can't say how long, because I haven't gotten to that point yet, at least not since my divorce. My ex-husband and I were together for a year before we decided to commit to each other. It may be that long, maybe longer, maybe not as long. It will depend on the woman and you.

    Another thing that I though about is that the particular women you met may not have felt strongly enough about you to commit to a long term relationship. I know I try not to say to a guy, "Look, I donít' like you." I'll usually try to think of something more acceptable to tell him, like maybe "I'm jus not ready for this right now."

    Anyway, don't give up. Consider being open to any possibilities, not just a certain age range. It's more important that you like and mesh well with the person than how old the person is. Believe me; I had to learn that the hard way.

    Good luck

  3. #3
    Tinkabell Guest

  4. #4
    bubbleee Guest
    Deb gave some great advice here, kudos Deb!

    I think looking at a certain age range, physical attribute range, etc. is a recipe for problems.

    If you are looking for a woman in the 40 to 60 age range, heck I would think most of us have some kind of baggage, physical problems, maybe even cellulite and stretch marks, and a few kids to boot. Most of us arrived in this spot with lots of bumps and bruises and some of us have found YM that embrace all of it because it makes us who we are.

  5. #5
    joeaners Guest


    If your conversations with OW are anything like that misleading and confusing story you wrote up there....just try proofreading or thinking before you type.

  6. #6
    kathyw Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Tinkabell
    ........................... ditto .....

  7. #7
    deb100855 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by joeaners
    If your conversations with OW are anything like that misleading and confusing story you wrote up there....just try proofreading or thinking before you type.
    Will, you did ramble a bit. I chalked it up to you being upset and pouring your heart out

  8. #8
    joeaners Guest


    Quote Originally Posted by deb100855
    Will, you did ramble a bit. I chalked it up to you being upset and pouring your heart out

    you know me better than anyone i know...

  9. #9
    littleowl's Avatar
    littleowl is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2004

    good luck

    In sales I think it's called closing the deal.
    Nobody ever told me, I found out for myself. You've got to believe in foolish miracles. -Ozzy Osbourne

  10. #10
    Tinkabell Guest


    Quote Originally Posted by joeaners
    If your conversations with OW are anything like that misleading and confusing story you wrote up there....just try proofreading or thinking before you type.

  11. #11
    joeaners Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Tinkabell
    thanks for laughing tink, i know we've had our differences.. but thanks

  12. #12
    Tinkabell Guest
    Well, it was funny!!!

    Anyhow......Lets be friends now......That playboy thing....Guess you were right!!!

    You should see this music video clip - a song called.....The Weekend, by Micheal Gray......Its sooooo Seksey!!!

    (Sorry Wills.....Major hi-jack)......My advice to you is....

    Chill....Stop this 'I want a relationship' speech......Just go with the flow....Relationships are not things you ask for like pancakes, or, "can I have a bacon sandwich please".......well, you know......They are things that just happen......You are scaring these women off.....Why not let 'them' pursue a relationship, if they feel it is right.......It probably 'wasnt' right with the others, so no loss.....Just go into it with an open mind that you 'could' form a relationship.....And then again....You may not.......Doesn't matter.....It will happen....And not just once.....In your lifetime...

    Dont push it ....Dont force it.....Let it happen naturally....It will surely happen....If it was meant to be....

  13. #13
    Rosy Guest
    How can I say this very are scaring them away. The fact that you are 18 may also be scaring them. Once they get to know you and know that you are a mature 18 and they learn your values, will find someone that will want to become involved.

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