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Thread: Am I taking away his youth?...

  1. #1
    SillyGirl Guest

    Am I taking away his youth?...

    I would like to say I appreciate all of you and all of your suggestions. Not just to me but to others. I have been just sitting back and observing for quite sometime now but now I'm the one who needs help....

    First off I'll explain us. I'm 28 he is 18. Although he does not act what I would consider teenagerish, there is no getting around the fact that he is in fact 18.

    I've known him for a few years. He did and still does hang around older people. At the time I met him I was with my ex whom he was friends with. They did quit talking some time ago but either way that's partly how I knew him.

    I talked to him off and on as he grew up. I never looked at him like....That but that has all seemed to change.

    Actually strangely enough I had a dream about him a week prior to seeing him. Strange one at that....I hadn't seen him for over a year at this point and I dreamt about him. Then when I went to pay my entry fee he was practicing and came up to say hi. I was just chit chatting with him thinking to myself my gosh is he flirting with me? But I let it go...then he said we should do something sometime and I'm like no we shouldn't but I need a golf coach and you golf so how about that.

    That's how it started and here we are now.

    So now my concerns are this, am I going to take away his youth? At his age he has not a care in the world and I obviously have more to worry about. I have a 2 1/2 year old I have bills and responsibilities he shouldn't have to concern himself with. He should be out at parties and meeting people not worried about baby sickness and diapers.

    Yes I have spoken to him about this and he assures me he is well aware of what he is getting into. He says he just wants to be with me and is more than willing to accept my son as a part of me.

    But honestly is he? Can he be at his age? I told him today I don't want to ruin his life and hold him back. He just says that's his decision to make and he doesn't see it like that.

    Any opinions because I'm stuck...does love really truly conqure all?


  2. #2
    aloneagain Guest

    unfortunately love doesnt conquer all

    silly girl ... my husband of ten yrs just left me... i am 40 he's 29... i had the same concerns when we got together but he assured me he loved me and always would ... happy not having kids of his own... i was his first lover.... i didnt listen to all the warning sirens... and i am now suffering for it.... he didnt really give me any reasons .... he just left but i can guess it is all the things he missed that u said that your 18 yr old should be out doing... any way i wish u all the best but be careful and i know it is hard but try to go with your head and not your heart... hugs.

  3. #3
    joeaners Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by aloneagain
    silly girl ... my husband of ten yrs just left me... i am 40 he's 29... i had the same concerns when we got together but he assured me he loved me and always would ... happy not having kids of his own... i was his first lover.... i didnt listen to all the warning sirens... and i am now suffering for it.... he didnt really give me any reasons .... he just left but i can guess it is all the things he missed that u said that your 18 yr old should be out doing... any way i wish u all the best but be careful and i know it is hard but try to go with your head and not your heart... hugs.
    i think its just assinine for someone to get married at the age of 18, 19, or 20

  4. #4
    Air
    Air is offline Senior Member
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    Young men (and women) aren't always sure of their feelings and don't know what they want. Don't just worrie for him. Protect yourself and check out carefully if he's serious with you. Perhaps you're not steeling his youth but he's taking your time?
    Navigare necesse est!

  5. #5
    marcy Guest
    All men are not alike. All relationships are not alike. All 18 year olds are not alike. My partner is 19 (20 in June) and I am 37. You are not taking away his youth. Is he not still 18? What is "Youth"? What do you think there is about "Youth" that can be stolen? What is it that you believe he could have done and experienced without a relationship with you, that he cannot do and experience WHILE in a relationship with you?

    Relationships end. Nearly all of them end. A relationship ending in and of itself does not mean that the relationship was a failure.

  6. #6
    fos4snt Guest
    Too true, marcy. Hey, I didn't know swimi's birthday was in June. So is Litical's. They'll be 20 at the same time. How cool.

    Age does not = maturity level.

    Everybody is different, every couple is different.
    ~phos

  7. #7
    marcy Guest
    hehe I didn't know that Fos... /me excitedly looking forward to no longer being married to a teenager! :P

  8. #8
    joelstrouble's Avatar
    joelstrouble is offline Silence! I'll kill you!
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    I just want to know how you think that you can take away his youth?
    Ummm.... will you in any way prevent him from living the life HE wants?
    probobly not...

    Let him be the one that takes responsability over his life and let him deside if you are what he wants and needs...

    You will only be a part of his youth as any other girl he may have chousen if he hadn't found you...

  9. #9
    Bella_D Guest
    Sillygirl, can't resist the joke...if thats pic of your man in your avatar, then yep....hes too young for you)

  10. #10
    SillyGirl Guest
    That's soooo funny you say that because I tried to put "that's my son not my boyfriend" as my signature!


  11. #11
    Bella_D Guest
    Giggle Your son is soooo cute!

  12. #12
    PinkCat's Avatar
    PinkCat is offline Animals are people too!
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    Bella_D, that's hilarious!

    Lesson learned: do not attempt a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

  13. #13
    Tinkabell Guest

    Wink

    OH HOW Cute is that little boy........

  14. #14
    kittylane's Avatar
    kittylane is offline Senior Member
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    love does conquer all, it is the most powerful force of this world. because love does not last or work does not mean that love failed, it means the people envolved choose to quit.

    love is a choice.

    love is work.

    love is self-LESS.

    love is all the things we believe it is in the rosey beginning and yet we blame it on LOVE when things go awry.

    love is not the culprit, it is us, or the people we choose as lovers and partners, there are few amoung us who can honestly say that when a love affair went south that the nagging doubts were there long before the affair ended.

    we took the chance for the chance of LOVE.

    there is no guarantee other than to take the time to know your partner, feel each other out, if you connect on a mental, emotional, spiritual level then whats stopping ya?

    for all the hard work love is, it is also JOY, it is also ACCEPTANCE, it is also HOME, it is the sweetness of life, but it doesnt come easy and age gap does not distinguish it from any other type of REAL love, real love is real love and does not know boundries.

  15. #15
    Angelsmoon Guest

    I Worry About That Same Thing

    Hi. I'm new here and SO GLAD I found this place. I'm 35, he's 25. We've been dating for about a year and a half and we've had MANY ups and downs and drama from both of us in that time period.

    I also used to worry that a relationship with me would somehow cause him to miss SOME significant milestones of his 20s...but I don't know what they would be. We have great dates and do more fun things together than either of us do with our seperate group of friends. Also, he has a child already and I haven't yet; he's already graduated from college and I haven't yet. So, from another point of view, I realised that the only real difference between us is time spent on earth. In fact, the only time I think about and worry about the difference is when we're not together. When I'm with him it all just melts away.

    I think that it is a valid concern about him not missing the "youthful" things...but he pursued me, so I have to give him some credit for knowing what he got into and what he wants.

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