AgeMatch.com - the best dating site for inter-generational lovers!  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 20

Thread: Trouble finding mutual friends

  1. #1
    silverbutterfly Guest

    Question Trouble finding mutual friends

    This mutual friend issue is really troubling me and I'm hoping someone here can shed some light on the subject.
    As of now most of the people we spend time with are his friends...who are in their early 20's. And his parents who are in their early 50's. I would really like to find some people who bridge that gap. My b/f comes off older than he is (20) and I come off younger than I am(43).
    My question is how do all of you find friends who are okay with the age gap AND who you both enjoy spending time with? Is it possible?

  2. #2
    marcy Guest
    Dang I wish I had this problem! We do not have a circle of friends. We don't even really have the time for this to be honest. We are just so freaking busy with our family and work and kids... etc etc etc. My sister and her family live close by and so does my mom and brother. Our circle of friends in real life is pretty much limited to them. Sad I know .

    We have a shared interest in online gaming and we have a pretty nice circle of friends of all age groups in our guild. Do you have similar interests? Can you join some kind of a class or group or team or take lessons in that shared interest?

  3. #3
    silverbutterfly Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by marcy
    We have a shared interest in online gaming and we have a pretty nice circle of friends of all age groups in our guild. Do you have similar interests? Can you join some kind of a class or group or team or take lessons in that shared interest?
    Hi Marcy,

    Our shared interests aren't many but we do have a few, and taking a class together is a great idea thanks Time we have to fill is mostly weekends, I'm just kinda burnt out on either an evening of BBQ's and beers (his friends) or dinners at his parents followed by a movie or a board game. Not that either is bad...there just needs to be more variety in what we do and the people we do things with. I feel like I'm going brain dead for lack of mental food!

  4. #4
    marcy Guest
    World of Warcraft

  5. #5
    Roseilicious Guest
    Having a tough time of it, Sheila... ((hugs)) Although, the rest of your post isn't easy to live by... the following part is a tad disturbing, also:

    Quote Originally Posted by sheila4pd
    He does not like my on-line female friends and has chased away my male on line friends.

    How did he manage that one?? Regardless... simply, don't allow him access to your on-line circle of friends... addy, buddy, contact lists...etc. Computer, at all, even!

    It sounds as if you feel/are being isolated, Sheila. Besides, feeling the aloneness of it... how do you view his part in it? (If you don't mind my asking... )

    ((S))

  6. #6
    eddiesfairy Guest

    Draw the line...

    Dont let him isolate you, especially if you are a social person....eventually it will wear you down. It is nice that you enjoy each other, but make it very clear there must be trust and mutual respect when it comes to friends, which are your support and life lines. A guy should be confident that you only want him. If they are insecure beware of warning signs. The last thing you need it a jealous control freak. If you love being just the two of you, he should understand that your friends are just that. And to be two of you there has to be YOU!


    That Fairy.

  7. #7
    eddiesfairy Guest

    To the original post.....

    I did not mean to be rude....Eddie and i dont have mutual friends, he moved here from Florida 1.7 years ago. I have only a few friends, we socialize with from time to time. They dont seam to have any adversion to our age gap, so ...so far so good. I want us to have "mutual friends" so bad at times...but the way I guess, it will happen when it happens...nothing is really stopping us from having friends together...lol ....other then the fact that either of us are very outgoing as far as the social aspect. I suspect when we find mutual friends the ones we find will be very dear to us. I think the idea of taking a class together is awsome....i am playing softball this year and dubbing my man and my son my cheer group~giggles~ hopefully there will be some get togethers after the game, and friends can be made...my friends calls it the pizza and beer league...should be fun.

    High Hopes!

    Fairy

  8. #8
    BadDreamer999 Guest

    mutual friend subject...

    I am a new relationship myself...2 months..I so adore him, and all his friends I have met thus far..but one weekend, he had to go pick up a female friend he seemed desperate to see...well, I am so open minded and all, but him touching her leg, and kissing her made me a bit mad...she lives about 20 minutes away from him, and I was also a bit mad he took 2 hours to take her home...I wonder if it is neccessary to actually meet anymore of his friends well, I wanna try again at our new relationship. I am a recluse myself, but I never had a problem with being anti-social before..I got issues..
    Peace,
    Yvette

  9. #9
    Buffeaut Guest
    Interesting Topic! Gathering casually with friends you had before you met your sweetheart and introducing your sweetheart to them is good. A like-minded couple is likely to enjoy the same people many times, but there will be exceptions. The most important thing, I think, is to have an open and honest dialogue going with your sweetheart regarding the impressions either of you have about people either of you have just met. This should prove to be both interesting and fun!

  10. #10
    silverbutterfly Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by SoraNoYume
    Thats so cool Marcy!!

    We play Final Fantasy XI online....and its wonderful, just as you we have a great circle of online friends!

    I suggest playing online together, there's many couples that do, and it seems they are bonded sharing good times together!

    I've been in Indiana for 1 year and left behind all my friends in California....


    Love,
    Sora
    Hi Sora,

    Online gaming... new friends, and mental food...sounds good to me! I'll mention it to him and maybe he'll be up for giving it a try. I've always been into RPG...never tried online tho'. Hopefully he will be interested enough to give it a try. Thanks for idea Marcy and your feedback Sora.
    And I know how you feel leaving friends behind. Mine aren't as far away as yours but 400 miles is still a gap. I'm a northern california girl and here I am in southern ca. Who would have thought people could be so different? I'd swear it was opposite ends of the earth..lol! Anyway, just hoping we can make some new friends through it all

  11. #11
    silverbutterfly Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by sheila4pd
    When I travel to see my bf in Indiana, we normally do not hang out with his friends, his friends practically have zero in common with me and do not talk about things that could include me. (They only talk about sports... US sports... football, basketball, NBA... no soccer). Maybe if I was American I could get involved with that

    He does not like my on-line female friends and has chased away my male on line friends.


    *sigh*
    Yeah I don't have much in common with most of his friends either which makes it hard to strike up a conversation past anything casual.
    As for online friends, I gave up my online male friends also. He was having a difficult time with it becasue when we were only friends he would see me chat with them. It was innocent flirty sometimes but that was when I was single. But we did talk about real issues that were interesting. But my b/f still thinks it would be the way it was before we were together. I can understand his feelings but...I still miss them so IKWYM Sheila

  12. #12
    silverbutterfly Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by eddiesfairy
    I did not mean to be rude....Eddie and i dont have mutual friends, he moved here from Florida 1.7 years ago. I have only a few friends, we socialize with from time to time. They dont seam to have any adversion to our age gap, so ...so far so good. I want us to have "mutual friends" so bad at times...but the way I guess, it will happen when it happens...nothing is really stopping us from having friends together...lol ....other then the fact that either of us are very outgoing as far as the social aspect. I suspect when we find mutual friends the ones we find will be very dear to us. I think the idea of taking a class together is awsome....i am playing softball this year and dubbing my man and my son my cheer group~giggles~ hopefully there will be some get togethers after the game, and friends can be made...my friends calls it the pizza and beer league...should be fun.

    High Hopes!

    Fairy
    Not offended at all Fairy Well I'm learning from these posts that we aren't the only ones who are wanting mutual friends, somehow it eases the tension. I'm really glad I found this site. All these things that no one I know can relate to can be understood here...great place really.
    I hope I can aquire the mind set that you have as "when it will happen, it will happen" as long as I knew it would happen it would make the wait easier
    But yes..the class and the online gaming both good ideas that are worth trying for sure. Unfortunately any league type of games aren't an option, neither one of us is into team sports. But it does work, an ex of mine joined a league when we moved into a new town and we made great friends because of it, it was alot of fun. So I'm sure your softball year will turn out well and friends will come of it.

  13. #13
    silverbutterfly Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Buffeaut
    Interesting Topic! Gathering casually with friends you had before you met your sweetheart and introducing your sweetheart to them is good. A like-minded couple is likely to enjoy the same people many times, but there will be exceptions. The most important thing, I think, is to have an open and honest dialogue going with your sweetheart regarding the impressions either of you have about people either of you have just met. This should prove to be both interesting and fun!
    I would like to introduce him to my friends but distance is hindering that for now. And I guess I am lucky that he has included me in his circle of friends, I just wish there was more in common...it would make it *so* much easier. Now and then when out with his friends it feels uncomfortable at times like...what am I doing here? A been here, done that, don't wanna go back type of thing.
    But all things considered, I think there is hope.As any new people we talk to casually we do agree on the ones we both like.
    Thanks for your feedback, it really does help

  14. #14
    Kat Guest
    We had many of the same friends before we hooked up. Mainly because we are both performing musicians frequenting the same clubs and open mics. I ran an open mic for awhile, he came to that. He used to live with young friends of mine and I was invited to parties there.

    My family will love him. However, I do have very close friends, a couple, that are like family to me and my age . I know he'll be very shy with them. He has recently met them though.

    A year before we got together, he used to see me out at our favorite watering hole at the time. He would always say "Kiss me, come on, just kiss me". I would say "NO WAY" and grin. He was so much younger. This went on for a year! Obviously I finally caved! I remember that night well, it was Christmas night. He asked me to kiss him and I said "Merry Christmas!", kissed him and it's been hot and heavy ever since.

    Actually spring and summer passed by after that brief winter fling before I saw him again. Then suddenly we kept running into each other. One night he said to me "we are good for each other, I think we are meant to be together". Since that conversation it's been on going. We are good for each other, he's right.

  15. #15
    LeCrawe Guest
    When we met, I had several circles of friends, ranging in age from 18-45. I was the 45.
    Almost all my friends are younger, in their 20s-30s, so it's not awkward for my GF (22) to fit in.

    In my circle of 40-ish friends, it took a bit for them to meet her a few times, to figure out that she was a woman of substance and intelligence, and once they got over initial reactions (which were very mild, just a "we'll wait and see" feeling), she fit in great.

    For us, we are both involved in Burning Man, which has no age limits or restrictions, and where I already mingled with amazing people of all ages.
    Some of her friends (from high-school era) have fallen by the wayside a bit, as my GF has grown (and outgrown many of them).

    Her BFF teases me constantly about my age, but in a fun way I am not offended by.

    I guess it helps that at 47, I have a young, silly heart, and still active in the creative community, and that she is very mature for 22.

    Also, we each maintain relationships with friends as individuals, not as a couple. She might go hang with friends on a night I can't make it. We each have our own unique relationship with each of our friends..that way, we rarely feel the "your friends-my friends" kinda thing...we just have a lot of friends.

    :-)

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •