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Thread: The Nexus of Friendship/Dating

  1. #1
    Buffeaut Guest

    The Nexus of Friendship/Dating

    Want to get opinions on the following: At what point does a friendship become a relationship? Knowing when this has happened can be puzzling.

    Here's a hypothetical situation: A woman and a man spend a lot of time together. She tells him frequently that he is the best friend she has ever had. They eat out together, take long nature walks and enjoy being together. A day never passes when he doesn't give her a few kisses on the lips. They go to a play, and he is a little unnerved by the subject matter. She senses this, and reaches over to hold his hand. When he tells her he loves her, she tells him that she loves him too. Friendship or Relationship?

  2. #2
    ravenglow Guest
    sounds like a relationship to me unless one partner asserts the fact that he/she is "SINGLE" and can date anyone they want openly or rejects any sexual advances.
    THEN it sounds a little like one person is using the other for some emotional fulfillment/something to do and the other is hoping for more; OR perhaps one person is quite confused

    Best thing to do is COMMUNICATE!!!

  3. #3
    kittylane's Avatar
    kittylane is offline Senior Member
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    there is something holding one of them back from taking this to the next level, what is it?

    i had a best friend who was a man and as painful as it was, i choose to leave the friendship, we had been best friends a year and a half before the beginning of my romantic relationship with my husband who was then my boyfriend. it broke my heart but it also taught me very valuable lessons as to how to set boundries. not only for my broken heart but in order to not hurt others.

    the reason i left my friendship was i felt in a way i was cheating on my boyfriend who is now my husband, not on a sexual level but on a intimacy level. although we never took the relationship to a physical level, i loved him deeply but as time has gone on, i also realize that life just has its share of losses.

    today, i dont doubt my decision. there is not doubt my compatiblity and love for my husband is so great it could not have compared the friendship i had. my husband never took no as an answer when it came to his intentions once he told me he was falling in love with me. my husband wooed me to such an extent that i had never known before.

    something is holding her back and sometimes it is really hard to distinguish love when it comes from the opposite sex. is it friendship love or romantic love?

  4. #4
    irparis Guest
    I consider it a friendship until its communicated to me that the other partner wants more. I try very much not to run with my emotions just because i'm spending alot of time with someone, one, because it helps me to see the red flags for what they really are, two, because I may seriously be mistaken in what I'm seeing, and three, because I would not want to be disappointed or to disappointed someone else.

    But with most of my friends, I see them all of initmate nature whether it be a man or woman, my best friends have gotten me through too much, our history is special and the only difference between them and my b/f would be the level of communication. Except for my g/fs, I will share nothing intimate w/males friends for that is reserve for the special person in my life.

    Paris

  5. #5
    just_jasmine Guest

    Friendship

    Quote Originally Posted by Buffeaut
    Want to get opinions on the following: At what point does a friendship become a relationship? Knowing when this has happened can be puzzling.

    Here's a hypothetical situation: A woman and a man spend a lot of time together. She tells him frequently that he is the best friend she has ever had. They eat out together, take long nature walks and enjoy being together. A day never passes when he doesn't give her a few kisses on the lips. They go to a play, and he is a little unnerved by the subject matter. She senses this, and reaches over to hold his hand. When he tells her he loves her, she tells him that she loves him too. Friendship or Relationship?
    Friendship. Why, you ask? Because I was married 7 years to someone whom I consider one of my best friends. We married because we were such good friends. We divorced because we are such good friends. Romantically, though - ugh. Never seemed right.

    This is a totally biased response. :-)

  6. #6
    Tigger is offline Neophyte
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buffeaut
    Want to get opinions on the following: At what point does a friendship become a relationship?
    When all the parties involved consider it a relationship and agree on what that means.

    Here's a hypothetical situation: A woman and a man spend a lot of time together. She tells him frequently that he is the best friend she has ever had. They eat out together, take long nature walks and enjoy being together. A day never passes when he doesn't give her a few kisses on the lips. They go to a play, and he is a little unnerved by the subject matter. She senses this, and reaches over to hold his hand. When he tells her he loves her, she tells him that she loves him too. Friendship or Relationship?
    Good friends love each other. Good friends are emotionaly intimate. Friends can make romantic overtures towards each other and even have intercourse without a relationship existing. You need to talk about what's going on.

    I'd define a relationship as a great friendship with mutual sexual chemistry and the potential to be together indefinately. For me the potential lasting requires monogomy, values that don't conflict, growing closer with time, and living together.

  7. #7
    Buffeaut Guest
    When a relationship that has communication and emotional trust between two people who have common values and interests that started as a friendship starts to include physical intimacy, isn't this the point at which friendship has become dating? WHat if the relationship is a distance relationship, yet such a level of intimacy is already there? Once the two people see each other more often, isn't a pretty serious relationship comin' down the rails?

  8. #8
    Roseilicious Guest
    When a relationship that has communication and emotional trust between two people who have common values and interests that started as a friendship starts to include physical intimacy, isn't this the point at which friendship has become dating?
    IMO, yes.

    WHat if the relationship is a distance relationship, yet such a level of intimacy is already there? Once the two people see each other more often, isn't a pretty serious relationship comin' down the rails?
    Assumably, yes.


    ~Rose~

  9. #9
    miss b Guest
    My current relationship started as friendship. We shared thoughts, stories, hanging out together for weeks. Then at some point he realized that he wanted more. He told me that even though he liked me as a friend, he also found me attractive and wanted to date me. I on the other hand thought he must be crazy there is a huge age gap between us and I wanted to end the friendship. After talking things through and realizing that he had some great qualities, I put the age issue aside and agreed to just one date. It was like we were still friends we just ended the date with a kiss instead of the regular "see ya".

    I think it has to be communicated that one or both parties want to take the friendship to another level. If not it leaves it open to confusion and doubt.
    Better to lay the cards on the table than to think someone knows how you feel.


    Just my two cents

  10. #10
    Powerpuffgirl Guest

    Dating or Courting?

    Being a born-again bible thumping Christian...I struggle with dating or courting?
    I could go on novels about that...but I will stick to your op topic.

    The people in the relationship DEFINE what is by SPEAKING with each other and AGREEMENT.

    Call it what you want...and it will be.

    THE END.

  11. #11
    Tinkabell Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Buffeaut
    Want to get opinions on the following: At what point does a friendship become a relationship? Knowing when this has happened can be puzzling.

    ?
    Dont be puzzled or try too hard to work something out with 'words' and 'explainations'.......You know when you are in a relationship because you just 'know'.......there are 'few' adequate words to discribe it, so we get all muddled up and confused......

    But just try and listen to your feelings and what 'they' are saying, because you will find the answers there.....

    You will 'know' when it is a relationship because you will just 'know'........I cant explain it any better than that sorry

    And then Once you 'know'.......

    Communication.......Do your best to Be Open, and honest about how you feel, as much as you can........Thats a Start.......!!!

  12. #12
    littleowl's Avatar
    littleowl is offline Senior Member
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    Question

    Quote Originally Posted by kittylane
    my husband never took no as an answer when it came to his intentions once he told me he was falling in love with me. my husband wooed me to such an extent that i had never known before.
    What exactly do you mean by this? It sounds very intriguing. Thanks!
    Nobody ever told me, I found out for myself. You've got to believe in foolish miracles. -Ozzy Osbourne

  13. #13
    Buffeaut Guest
    [QUOTE=Tinkabell]Dont be puzzled or try too hard to work something out with 'words' and 'explainations'.......You know when you are in a relationship because you just 'know'.......there are 'few' adequate words to discribe it, so we get all muddled up and confused......

    But just try and listen to your feelings and what 'they' are saying, because you will find the answers there.....

    You will 'know' when it is a relationship because you will just 'know'........I cant explain it any better than that sorry

    Bingo!! This is it! Both you and the other person know before anything is said. It is weird that I read this post this evening, as this validates what I realized earlier today.

  14. #14
    Tinkabell Guest
    Im Glad you liked it Buffs......

    NOW......for the Cheque.......!!!

    Its Okay.....You can pay in instalments......I don't mind,

    *dont send any money.......we'll Bill you*




    *******************************

  15. #15
    Tinkabell Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by kittylane
    my husband wooed me to such an extent that i had never known before.
    Yes and that is how it is Supposed to be........

    That Kitts Girl has 'Got It Going on'........as you Americans would say....LoL
    Last edited by Tinkabell; 05-11-2005 at 09:51 AM. Reason: just correcting my American language......LoL

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