AgeMatch.com - the best dating site for inter-generational lovers!  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 28

Thread: does this reallt work long term

  1. #1
    grace Guest

    does this reallt work long term

    ive been with a ym for a few months now. im 34 hes 25. its going great. probably the best relationship ive ever had. hes proposed and im really caught in fear with projections of the future. ive much more life experience than him and am afraid i may be a phase and eventually he will want someone younger. can this really work long term?

  2. #2
    Softsong's Avatar
    Softsong is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    540
    Yes, it can. But the success, failure possibility is the same as with other relationships. It varies depending upon the people. Men and women of the same approximate age have relationship sucesses and failures, too.

    Most of us in relationships with younger men have concluded that since we have no crystal ball, to enjoy it, and look at it as though it will last. There are many stories of couples with 16, 25, and even 30 years difference who are happily married.

    There are also examples of relationships that almost worked. Many times when they fail it is because after the YM has done what he can to give assurances, the older women keeps thinking he will leave her and repeatedly wants assurances till she makes him wonder why he is in the relationship.

    The relationships that have really done well usually start with a YM who is sure of what he wants, convinces the women and then she relaxes.

    You'll also find people here from awhile back who no longer post as they have settled into each other nicely. One gentleman, who I cannot recall his exact user name....Cowboy is in it....has been married a long, long time and they have a large gap.

    See if you can read the success stories. And learn from the stories where they ended. YM can be wonderful, caring longterm partners if you are right for each other and you find a YM who understands himself and has character.

    Hope this helps......

  3. #3
    grace Guest
    yes it does help, thank you. hes very reassuring. ive already noticed my insecure comments and am trying to stop saying them to him. i know if i keep saying them i could convince HIM of them!

  4. #4
    Inamorata is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Posts
    128
    Yes grace you're right. You can convince him (and yourself) that it won't work, if you keep going on about all the possible reasons you think it can't work.

    Softsong is right. I know a LOT of relationships that went horribly wrong where the couple were close in age or the man was older. On the other hand, I know of several OW/YM relationships with age gaps larger than yours that were very happy and lasted " 'Til Death Do Us Part". It has much more to do with how well you are matched as a couple and how much positive energy you are willing to invest in the relationship than it has to do with the difference in age, or height or weight for that matter!

    I was in an extremely fulfilling relationship with a man 15 yrs. younger that lasted for 10 years. It was the most wonderful time in my life and if I had to do it over and was told that I'd only get 6 months instead of 10 years, I wouldn't hesitate. It was worth it.

    I wish you all the best.

  5. #5
    grace Guest
    thank you. im so glad i found this sight. i put off even looking for somewhere like this bc i thought id just get porn or dating services! my closest friends are happy and hopeful for me and my ym, even our families. but i also get so much negative feedback. i must say though most of the negative comes from men my age or older. must be some double standard jealousy or something.

  6. #6
    Cinderella Guest
    THIS--referring to age gap relationships? I would say yes, at least as well as same age relationships. The age is irrelevant....the compatability of the couple is what is the determining factor.

    My husband and I were married on October 4, 2003....we have been very happy. I am 43 and he is 31.....

  7. #7
    grace Guest
    what about health issues and energy levels? im worried i wont be able to keep up w/my ym. when i try to explain this to him he seems to have a block.

  8. #8
    Kristin's Avatar
    Kristin is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    5,910
    Quote Originally Posted by grace
    what about health issues and energy levels? im worried i wont be able to keep up w/my ym. when i try to explain this to him he seems to have a block.
    If you think of it, age really doesn't come into play like this anymore than in regular relationships. My husband got MS when he was 26 and was in a nursing home by 42. His stepdad was 72 and is still running around like a 30 year old.

    Health and energy levels are different at any age. If you go around worrying about that, then I wouldn't get involved at all, because anyone can get sick at any age.

    My bf is 24 and he has had numerous injuries in the past that already haunt him - his bad back, for instance. He's always limping around, complaining about aches and pains. He says, 'I'm getting old, Babe!" I have a feeling I could still be taking care of him someday!

  9. #9
    joelstrouble's Avatar
    joelstrouble is offline Silence! I'll kill you!
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Farmland in Norway!
    Posts
    2,955
    Quote Originally Posted by grace
    what about health issues and energy levels? im worried i wont be able to keep up w/my ym. when i try to explain this to him he seems to have a block.
    Umm... when it comes to health issues, why do you think that you wont be able to keep up with him? Its "only" 9 years between you two!!!
    You are not planning on running the marathon with him, are you

    My love is 13 years younger than me, and my health are by far better than his!!!
    Shall he be worried that he can't keep up with me?

    Grace, enjoy what you have!!!
    Why question something that is good?

  10. #10
    satinandlace Guest

    Agree with Kristen

    If you think of it, age really doesn't come into play like this anymore than in regular relationships. My husband got MS when he was 26 and was in a nursing home by 42.

    Anything can happen to anyone at anytime. I lost my husband at age 46 and quickly learned that we have to make the most of every day and every chance.

  11. #11
    Cinderella Guest
    I agree with everyone else....age doesn't always equal health and energy issues.

    Some days I have more energy and some days he has more energy. I did worry about him having to care for me when I get old and then I think of my sister who is married to someone her own age and he has MS and takes alot of extra help getting around, etc. so really the age issue is not the only thing that can change the relationship.

    When I voiced my concerns about the future, I was asking if my being 12 years older when we are alot older worried him and he was finally honest and said yes. I asked what bothered him and he said "That I will probably be left here without you." So, I stopped worrying....just enjoying the now.

  12. #12
    grace Guest
    thanks for the responses. you are all right. i lost a fiance in 2000. so i know it can happen anytime. i just worry extra i think because even though i LOOK ok on the outside im a recovering addict, and anorexic and bulimic, so i know theres probably some damage that just hasnt surfaced yet. what i need to do is just keep taking good care of myself and quit worrying so much. lol

  13. #13
    Powerpuffgirl Guest
    9 years is not a lot. Myself...me and sweet young thang have 10 years apart. Since he is highly intelligent, I don't find it a problem...but I do have more life experience.

    I like though the way he respects me so much. I never had that before. I don't know if it is a younger man thing but it is nice.

  14. #14
    cothtr Guest
    My partner and I are currently in out 5th year She is 75, I am 29, and I cant see it ending for a long time

    So yes it can work long term.

  15. #15
    grace Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Powerpuffgirl
    9 years is not a lot. Myself...me and sweet young thang have 10 years apart. Since he is highly intelligent, I don't find it a problem...but I do have more life experience.

    I like though the way he respects me so much. I never had that before. I don't know if it is a younger man thing but it is nice.
    i see that as well. no one has ever been so respectful or attentive to me as my ym

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •