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Thread: How do you handle AGR assumptions?

  1. #1
    bubbleee Guest

    Wink How do you handle AGR assumptions?

    I'll pose my question to all the guys and gals both in OW/YM or OM/YW relationships...

    How do you handle the assumptions of strangers about your relationship when you're out in public?

    Today Phil and I were at the supermarket and he was playfully bumping me gently in the butt with the cart while I was waiting in line for the deli. Each time he did it, I'd move a bit and he'd move a bit more and politely say "Excuse me m'aam I didn't mean to hit you". Another woman waiting thought this was really cute, and said "Gee, I guess you're glad he came along with you." and I said, "Yeah I guess, laughingly" and then she said, "Well be thankful "mine" is halfway across the country. I can only presume that when she says "Mine", she means her son.

    When these things happen, and they do ALL the time, I never say, "well he's not my son, he's my boyfriend". Phil doesn't clarify things either. It's kind of why bother because these people are complete strangers and we don't have to explain anything to them or anyone really. With a 30 year gap, people just make the assumption we are related. After all, what could a sophisticated woman like me want with a country boy like him, right? (j/k) Honestly it's just easier to not say anything and move along with your business.

    So if you are out together and something like this happens to you, do you let it slide or do you correct it?

  2. #2
    Buffeaut Guest
    If both of you look considerably younger than you are, the younger of you could simply tell your actual age to the stranger, and thank them for thinking you are way younger than you are. When you are a guy dating a female older than yourself, this removes questions of age gap and makes your date feel special all at once. Not too shabby, eh?

  3. #3
    marcy Guest
    Ah the grocery store... why is that this most often seems to happen there? When this happens to Devon and I, it is almost always there. We too do not clarify our relationship to complete strangers. Whats the reason? Who cares what they think? We do not hide our relationship, but we do not clarify either. When we get to the checkout and Devon pays or when we kiss in line... they are left to think on that themselves.

    Now when this happens to us other places... places that matter... we set the record straight immediately. For example, we were once at the Elementary school in the office and I was making a change on a child's record. The office lady said to Devon something that implied she thought he was my son. We cleared it up immediately. We were buying a bed once and the sales clerk came up to us and was making small chit chat. She then said is your son helping you shop today? I said nope. I don't sleep with my son, so he doesn't care a bit about my bed purchases. This is my boyfriend. (which he was at the time) She was REALLY embarassed and apologized a TON of times. I think she thought she had lost the sale for sure.

  4. #4
    Belisama's Avatar
    Belisama is offline I love being a redhead!
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    It's only happened once or twice -- Tim hates it but in the right outfit, he can look really young for his age. I've mentioned it before... when we took my son to register for high school, the receptionist said to Tim, "Have you ever been here before, honey?" My son and I nearly collapsed with laughter; Tim, slightly bewildered, pointed at my son and said, "HE'S the student; I've been out of school for six years!"

    Generally speaking, though, nobody mistakes us for anything other than what we are - a couple of incredibly happy newlyweds.

  5. #5
    bubbleee Guest
    i dunno what buying groceries does to people, but yeah, what is up with the grocery store encounters???

    one of this days I'm gonna say, nah he's not my son, he's my boytoy and watch the reactions, lol.

  6. #6
    kathyw Guest

    Exclamation Lol...

    Quote Originally Posted by bubbleee
    i dunno what buying groceries does to people, but yeah, what is up with the grocery store encounters???

    one of this days I'm gonna say, nah he's not my son, he's my boytoy and watch the reactions, lol.
    I agree Bubs...the grocery store always seems to be ummm an "experience" for us too...I think that would be the perfect thing to say...geez...in the mood I've been in lately...I may just say it the next time someone says something dumb like that to us...no doubt, I won't have to wait very long!!

  7. #7
    miss b Guest
    I've got to wonder about the grocery stores too. We've never had anyone to assume we were mother and son, but I have gotten the strangest looks at the grocery store.

    Last week my y/m was at the Deli area getting lunch meat. The older counter woman was talking and offering him samples of meats and cheese. Then I come along with the buggy and he feeds me a piece of cheese. You would have thought that I was robbing the place by the look that she gave me.

    I wanted to buy some of the cheese, but she turned so cold, that we just got the items that she had sliced and left. My y/m got kind of upset about it, because she was so friendly before I came along. I told him to ignore her and kept shopping.

    Whats funny is, its usually me that gets bothered by the stares and "the looks" and stuff but I've gotten to the point where I feel why let a stupid person ruin my mood for the day. So I dont anymore.

  8. #8
    Powerpuffgirl Guest

    Post Beefcake feeding his cheesecake

    Quote Originally Posted by miss b
    I've got to wonder about the grocery stores too. We've never had anyone to assume we were mother and son, but I have gotten the strangest looks at the grocery store.

    Last week my y/m was at the Deli area getting lunch meat. The older counter woman was talking and offering him samples of meats and cheese. Then I come along with the buggy and he feeds me a piece of cheese. You would have thought that I was robbing the place by the look that she gave me.

    I wanted to buy some of the cheese, but she turned so cold, that we just got the items that she had sliced and left. My y/m got kind of upset about it, because she was so friendly before I came along. I told him to ignore her and kept shopping.

    Whats funny is, its usually me that gets bothered by the stares and "the looks" and stuff but I've gotten to the point where I feel why let a stupid person ruin my mood for the day. So I dont anymore.
    Ah, she was just wanting to break off a piece of that beefcake for herself...and then realising that sadly she was missing out...she took out her frustration on you both. I pity her...the lady doesn't get any of the beefcake. She went home later and cried on her cheesecake.

    While you get to feast.

    Okay, I am getting silly here. But you got my point.

  9. #9
    miss b Guest
    Powerpuff......yes he's a good looking man, I dont know if she wanted him, but she sure made it clear that she didnt want me sampling her cheese....

  10. #10
    Powerpuffgirl Guest
    honey, don't let the green-eyed monster ruin some good cheese eating in your life.

    Or um filet migon.

    She may horde her cheese but I would take velveeta over her stash anyday.

    Stingy cheese lady behind the counter needs to be happy in her life so she quits trying to rain on happiness parades!

    And another thing...d&^n I look good! But still I am insecure around the younger man I dream about cuz he's goodlooking and a decade younger.

    But then I brush the thought aside and go listen to Duran Duran. Simon Le Bon still struts his stuff and he is a decade older than me!
    Last edited by Powerpuffgirl; 05-09-2005 at 10:32 PM.

  11. #11
    Bella's Avatar
    Bella is offline Senior Member
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    Happens, gaps like ours make it inevitable.

    Young guy in a shoe store the other day, when David was trying on shoes, threw in a "how about you mom? Wanna try a pair?"

    David immediately responded with "Sweetie, if you get another pair of shoes we'll have to get a different house. Honey, you have too many shoes now" With emphasis on the Sweetie and Honey. Total change of tone. Then it was "you guys" or "you two".

    Most of the time, if its just in passing, we just let it slide. If its someone we'll be spending time with, we correct. The way David tries on shoes to find a pair that don't hurt his delicate hooves, we had a good hour or so left with this guy. As he said, he wasn't going to listen to "mom" stuff for an hour.

    I honestly feel that except for the cheese lady types, who are clearly trying to mark a "territory" people aren't trying to be rude, we just tend to catagorize others on site, and sometimes it gets catogorized wrongly.

  12. #12
    miss b Guest
    Sometimes I can respect those that make honest mistakes and assume someone is mother & son, depending on the way its handled. Until age gap relationships are more accepted its what we deal with.
    Months ago when one of the ladies at work made a comment to me about me having all this great sex everyday because I was with a younger man, well its those kind of silly assumptions and statements that make me wonder whats really going on in their lives that they find mine so interesting. I think you have to be missing something in your life to be that concerned about mine.

    But people are people.

  13. #13
    thesedays Guest
    How about this one ..........very depressing. Once we were out shooting pool and a young girl (21 - 22) came over to tell me that my "younger brother" was "hot" and could I please introduce them !!

  14. #14
    DSpring Guest
    my love and i have been together for 7 months. we haven't had such an encounter yet but we've had many looks of amazement. mostly men stare longer than appropriate. but i just think they're envious cuz she's so beautiful

    we just ignore the stares, though. like miss b said above, why let stupid people ruin your day. it's counterproductive.

    powerpuff girl you are hilarious!!!!!!!!! although filets are quite overrated...i personally like ribeyes...nice and bloody...

  15. #15
    Charlotte's Avatar
    Charlotte is offline Every day is a new one.
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    It has only happened one time to us and it wasn't exactly a situation where either of us felt it was necessary to say anything. Especially the way airport security is these days, I didn't want to start making a fuss with the woman checking my luggage onto the plane!

    We were standing together and I handed her my passport and she looked at it and then looked at him, then looked at me and asked whether this was my son and do I have his passport. She thought we were flying together and he really does look 19. She had just seen my age on my passport so I am assuming that was why she asked whether he was my son.

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