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Thread: His best friend doesn't want us together

  1. #1
    k2626 Guest

    Angry His best friend doesn't want us together

    I am 41, he is 26. Never been in this situation before. His best friend says I take time away from the two of them.

  2. #2
    Kristin's Avatar
    Kristin is offline Senior Member
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    You could be 21 and it wouldn't make any difference. Unfortunately, it's your ym's decision on who he spends his time with, so you have no control over it.

    If his friend is a real friend, he will understand that this tends to happen in the early stages of a relationship. Maybe the friend needs to get his own girlfriend!

    Ask your man if he wants to spend more time with his buddy. Tell him you have no problem with that, so he doesn't feel bad if he wants to hang out with him instead of with you once in a while.

    Jeremy had a friend complain of this as well. He told me that he just would rather hang out with me. A few times we went out as a group and it was fun. The friend got over it. As a matter of fact, so over it that he now has a girlfriend and Jeremy never hears from HIM!

  3. #3
    Bella_D Guest
    Perhaps if your bf's best friend had more experience, he would know that of course you will take time away from the two of them, and the same would occur if HE was the one who found a great partner. Partnerships do that. And as the relationship grows, time for friends can diminish considerably at times depending on circumstances, such as whether you have children, what kind of work you do, lifestyle etc.

    In my experience, friends who are too possessive towards one partner usually play a lot of games and will cause distress to the couple, resulting in the severing of the friendship.

  4. #4
    LADave is offline Born 200 years too late
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    I just got a much-needed chuckle from this thread. I can't imagine griping to one of my buddies that his new relationship is taking time from the buddy thing. Gov. AH-nold Schwarzenegger sends the Kal-ee-for-nyah Whiner of the Month award out of the state to the whimpering friend!
    "You've got to dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's never going to hurt."--Anon

  5. #5
    special K's Avatar
    special K is offline dedicated member :-)
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    Dave, your input is always priceless Oh, and I agree!
    "What the caterpillar sees as the end of the world, the butterfly calls wings."

  6. #6
    miss b Guest
    LADave...I was thinking the same thing.

    I've never heard grips from any man at any age regarding his friends thinking that he's spending too much time with me.

  7. #7
    yellowrose's Avatar
    yellowrose is offline Texas Gal
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    His best friend doesn't want us together
    And what does your boyfriend say?

  8. #8
    Pretty-n-Pink Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by k2626
    His best friend doesn't want us together

    Oh, I am in a similar situation. One of my YM's best friends does not support our relationship. He behaved very very immaturely whem my ym & I were early in our relationship. He seems to have accepted that we are together but definelty is not supportive of us. That bothers me. I never really cared too much about this guy anyway (just from observing his behavior towards my ym and just a feeling that he is not trustworthy). I actually never told my ym how I felt until recently. I never will complain when he spends time with him (they have been close friends for a long time) but it does make me uneasy. I like all of his other friends, we get along well and spend alot of time with them. ok, I'm done venting now!

  9. #9
    ravenglow Guest
    Its happened to me, but in highschool. Unfortunately, the stupid friends won out over me!

  10. #10
    k2626 Guest
    This is an person relationship. We have been together for 10 months and we live together. I let him have boys night out whenever he wants! This guy has his own girlfriend!
    Quote Originally Posted by sheila4pd
    Are you in an on line relationship or an in person relationship?

    My bf's best friend sometimes wants to introduce young girls to my bf. We are in a LDR and he just does not understand that. His friend and I have already met in person, and we get along fine, but he still tries to get my bf to cheat on me.

    I will not put any pressure to end that friendship, they have been friends since they were boys. I hardly ever complain when they want to do stuff together. I only complain when it is our anniversary or another special day.

  11. #11
    k2626 Guest
    [He says he doesn't care what he thinks. But these two are very close and I know that his opinion does matter to my boyfriend!!QUOTE=yellowrose]And what does your boyfriend say? [/QUOTE]

  12. #12
    yellowrose's Avatar
    yellowrose is offline Texas Gal
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    While your boyfriend's FRIEND's opinion might matter... it sounds like your BF has made up his mind and choses to spend most of his time with you. While we might grieve about a loss of closeness with a friend, we can still move on do what we think is right. This "kind-of" sounds like where your boyfriend is at. So, I would not worry about it unless your BF talks about it a lot and makes it an issue. That is my advice or take on it. Good luck.

  13. #13
    Face069 Guest

    Angry

    I wish it was just a bestfriend problem. I need to know where to go to talk about his mother. She is a complete demon in sheeps clothing. We have been together this year Oct. will be 3 years. She came to me cursing me about the relationship and she may as well still be because she says nothing to me at all. Of course we can't talk about it because it's his mother. Very frustrating!!!!!

  14. #14
    ROSEBUD Guest

    Here is the answer!

    Quote Originally Posted by k2626 View Post
    I am 41, he is 26. Never been in this situation before. His best friend says I take time away from the two of them.
    I know a way to nip this in the bud. Why don't you innocently ask: "Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to offend anyone...but it just seems a bit "odd" that he is so concerned about your time away from him...almost sounds like he has a "crush" on you...he's not a closet gay, is he?"

  15. #15
    yellowrose's Avatar
    yellowrose is offline Texas Gal
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    I need to know where to go to talk about his mother.
    You are more than welcome to talk about it here. Since this is an old thread, why don't you start a new one just for you. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate.

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