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Thread: How to convince her?

  1. #1
    Buffeaut Guest

    How to convince her?

    I think I already know the answer to this question, but I want to pose it just to see what people think:

    My girlfriend and I definitely are in love. I hold her hand, kiss her, write poems and letters to her, give her cards, and tell her verbally how much I care about her. She knows that I am serious about loving her. However, She ocassionally tells me that I may meet someone my age (I am 34, She is 53). When she tells me this, I sense that She would accept this happening, but would be very sad. When this topic comes up, I always tell her how much I value her and why I value her like I do. I remind her that her mental and emotional maturity are just so awesome, and how I couldn't bring myself to leave her hanging. I tell her that I will always be there for her, and that I am just not interested in anyone else. She knows that this is from the heart, and we have a great relationship. Is this issue purely a result of our age difference? Do all women who are dating guys signinficantly younger than themselves have this fear? My girlfriend has had bad experiences with men before meeting me, but with men her own age. She was divorced from her husband due to him cheating, so I'm thinking part of this is a fear based on past experiences that will fade over time. I guess the overall question I have involves how to put her mind at ease once and for all on this issue. She knows in her logical mind that I would not leave her for someone younger, but seems to be having trouble putting her emotional mind at ease in this matter.

  2. #2
    Buffeaut Guest
    Could the moderator please switch the entry I made above to the Younger Men/Older Women messages? I put this one here by mistake. Thank You!

  3. #3
    fos4snt Guest
    Hi! Well, first of all, if you haven't already ~ you should introduce her or send her to this site. Then she can see herself and her fears in many other peoples posts. Seriously.

    I think you hit the nail on the head in sumising that almost ALL people in AGRs like you're in suffer from nagging fears and doubts about the relationship. On so many different levels!!! I know I came here seeking advice and trying to come to terms with my AGR with Litical. CAN it work was one of the biggest thoughts. Your GF might take great comfort in finding she is not alone.

    You might want to PM one of the forum moderators to ensure you post gets moved to the otherside.
    ~phos

  4. #4
    Charlotte's Avatar
    Charlotte is offline Every day is a new one.
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    How long have you been together?

  5. #5
    Buffeaut Guest
    We've known each other as friends for a number of years. We've been dating since March. It has been a distance relationship, as we live two hours apart. We see each other every Sunday, and spend the day together. I'm moving to the city she lives in in about three weeks, though, something we are both looking forward to.

    I think some of her doubts have been due to the distance relationship. At the end of the day on Sunday, we always feel incredibly close. Going the whole week without seeing each other is hard. Once I can stop over or just pop in to give her flowers and do those other special things one can't do in a distance relationship, I think we will grow closer and closer.

  6. #6
    kathyw Guest

    Question

    Quote Originally Posted by Buffeaut
    We've known each other as friends for a number of years. We've been dating since March. It has been a distance relationship, as we live two hours apart. We see each other every Sunday, and spend the day together. I'm moving to the city she lives in in about three weeks, though, something we are both looking forward to.

    I think some of her doubts have been due to the distance relationship. At the end of the day on Sunday, we always feel incredibly close. Going the whole week without seeing each other is hard. Once I can stop over or just pop in to give her flowers and do those other special things one can't do in a distance relationship, I think we will grow closer and closer.
    Yes..I agree Buffeaut, alot of doubts exist with distance...do you plan to eventually live closer to one another?

  7. #7
    LKKMote Guest
    Well, I am kind of still pretty insecure in my relationship with my VYM. He is 19 (almost 20) and i am 40. I mean, I dont know WHY... but it just SLAYS me when he looks at other women. I know he wont cheat but still I am very insecure LOL

  8. #8
    LENAE Guest
    I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM. MY OM ALWAYS TELLS ME THAT IM GONNA FIND SOMEONE ELSE MY OWN AGE AND LEAVE HIM HIGH AND DRY!!! HE JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THAT HES THE ONLY ONE I WANT!! ITS KIND OF FRUSTRATING!!!

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