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Thread: Booty call?

  1. #1
    kyrie310 Guest

    Booty call?

    I have been reading a lot of the threads and was struck by one posted by a jluc2141. He stated that YM are with OW for the sex. The "ease" of it, that it is "good". I was wondering if anyone else out there felt this might be the case with their ym? The booty call - I know at the beginning that is what it was with my ym and me. But I feel this has changed since he wants to spend time talking or sharing something on tv with me now when I am there. (Before it was just the sex and I would leave). Now he said we need to "bond" more often. If it's just for the sex do the guys start to tell you they love you and want to spend more time with you? I mean, there was no reason for him to say that. I was sleeping with him as often as he (and I) wanted. I gave him no reason to think that unless he got in deeper I would not see him anymore. I get very confused about this.

    Concerning my marriage...I told my husband that he deserved to be free to find someone who would make him happy....things got very ugly.
    Last edited by kyrie310; 08-29-2005 at 01:42 PM.

  2. #2
    miss b Guest
    I cant answer your question personally regarding the booty call. But I do know that relationships develop in many ways.

    For me it was a progression of things that led to a relationship. We spent time together and got to know each other prior to having sexual relations. So when I had sex with my y/m I already had strong feelings for him. I wasnt in love, but we did have a strong friendship and close bond.

    I do know of other relationships that have developed from "booty calls". One found that they had such a great time sexually that they both wanted to see each other on a daily basis. This added more to the relationship and years later this couple is still together.

    You mention that you are confused. Do you want the relationship to be more than just sexual? What are your response when he wants to do more than have sex?
    Are you prepared for that type of relationship, since you mentioned a husband?

    Good luck

  3. #3
    jetstream Guest
    To me it sounds like the ym is falling in love with you (if he hasn't already). The hooking up thing doesn't work that way if there are no deeper feelings involved—sounds like he's wanting more out of the relationship. So this is good, if you feel the same way.

    Whenever I start to think my relationship with my ym is just sex, or at least sex-based, we do something together and have a really good time and it makes me think there's more potential. We go on dates but the sex is the highlight, beyond a doubt. Like you though, I can go with it either way.

  4. #4
    Kristin's Avatar
    Kristin is offline Senior Member
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    He could just feel like he's supposed to say those things. There's no guarantee he actually feels that way.

    But, certainly not all YM want to be with their OW just for a "booty call." Jeremy was the exact opposite of that. He told me the last thing he wanted was a one night stand.

  5. #5
    Kristin's Avatar
    Kristin is offline Senior Member
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    BTW - the guy who wrote that is 40 years old. Not exactly in touch with our YM generation. Heck, he'd be an OM on the other side of the boards! Not only that, he even stated that they were jerks.

    But, still, I don't agree that his idea fits in with our YM. Most of the YM here, in relationships, I would say are exceptional. They pursued the OW in spite of the age, not because she was older and an easy mark. I hope that was what happened with you and your YM. If not, he may be one of those players. But I don't know your whole story, so it's hard to comment.

  6. #6
    Loucine Guest
    In other words you made it clear that you enjoy having sex with him and it doesn't bother you if your relationship is only sexual. So it means that you made it clear that he doesn't have to walk upside down, stick colourful feathers in his butt and kneel in front of you with false promises of a long and flowery future together in order for you to have sex with him, which is wonderful.

    But this ym ended up liking you on different levels and is surely getting attached (in love I don't know that's a big word) so now the question is: do you want more than just sex with this ym ? and if not, are you going to tell him before he gets even more attached ? Or you need some time to think things over ?

    ps: I will not comment on the hubby situation out of respect for the general attitude about this subject on Ageless
    Last edited by Loucine; 08-29-2005 at 03:02 PM.

  7. #7
    nita Guest

    To Each Their Own..

    Strangely after two failed marriages and having men who took me completely for granted, all I wanted from my YM was sex.(Something I never enjoyed with my ex) That was five years and three months ago and here we are still together and very much in love.

    As others have mentioned, each relationship progresses in different ways and time frames. I realized quickly into mine that my SO wanted love and I didn't. But he became part of my heart before I knew what hit me, and his patience in allowing me to go through the process of being "sure", helped to push me even further into his arms.

  8. #8
    kyrie310 Guest
    Loucine - Yes, since we have been having sex for several years and I never pressed him for anymore than he wanted to give, I was fine with the relationship just being sexual....until he started asking me if I loved him. He asked me what I thought people would say if they knew about us....what his dad would say...what my daughters would say...etc. Those things started messing with my head and I realized that I had stronger feelings for him than I thought I did. And yes, I do want more than just sex with him. I would LIKE to see where this will go.

    Thank you for being sensitive to the marriage situation. I have been all over this on another thread and was convinced that the time was way passed to let it all go. Sad, but necessary.

    Kristin - I thought maybe he felt he had to say those things, too, but I can't think of any reason why. He never had to do anything special to get me to sleep with him other than make me feel pretty and sexy. He wasn't required to be in love with me. I know there is no guarantee he actually feels the things he says, but I have learned there is no guarantee about anything. ps. Your Jeremy sounds like a very special guy.

  9. #9
    kyrie310 Guest
    I really don't think my ym is a player. His father is a childhood friend of mine and I have known him for years. He has been in several long term relationships and to my knowledge, was faithful to them all. He started talking to me about his last relationship when it was falling apart...asking me for a woman's point of view and so on and so forth. He found out after she left that she had another guy all lined up. I think he was much more hurt than he let on. Anyway, things just seemed to heat up between us after a few months. He told me this was not a relationship, it was just for sex. I understood that. That was years ago. It's been the last six months that he has been saying things that make me feel he is getting deeper into this.

  10. #10
    DSpring Guest
    booty call or "sex" is not exclusively sexual or physcial gratification...there are always feelings involved...how deep or authentic they are is another matter...

    you're walking in a mine field...although you've stated that you and the ym have been together as often as you both want...guys are very territorial...i suspect he wants you all to himself...be it superficially...purely sexual...or in a "real" relationship for a lack of a better term...i suspect consciously or subconsciously...he doesn't like the fact that after y'all are done...you go back to your husband... and i'm sure that eats at him...to him you're a conquest who's not fully conquered...you're still another man's wife...so i woudln't necessarily confuse his words or questions as a genuine attempt to develope something deeper with you...this may sound harsh but...once he has you...then the thrill of the chase is over...the challenge accomplished...and you might be left to pick up the pieces...

    so i'm rambling...the whole situation is not healthy as you very well know...you need to close one door before you step into another...

  11. #11
    Loucine Guest
    Kyrie, I don't know about your age difference or about your surroundings. Are you in some kind of a 'forbidden love' situation ?
    You've been seeing this man for years and if both of you want this 'liason' to turn into a serious relationship, it's maybe time for you to reassure him that you will get your armour out and the two of you will fight against all odds. Do you think it's possible ?

  12. #12
    kyrie310 Guest
    Missb - When my ym asks me to do something other than have sex, I like it. I enjoy spending time with him and making him laugh. He can be moody and I like to kid him out of it. He is an avid bass fisherman and wants to share the comical aspects of the tournaments that he records with me. He can talk for hours about his job and the people there. I think he likes that I listen. I am interested. I guess what has me so confused is that , and maybe I am completely off base on this, I would think that he would want to see me every day. When I was still with my husband that wasn't possible, of course. I think that he (YM) likes that he can go and do all the things he likes to do (fishng) and see me when he wants to. That is ok with me, but I start to wonder when I haven't heard anything from him for a few days. I guess I wonder if he misses me. I am trying to go forward and get myself organized since I am on my own for the very first time. I guess I should appreciate the space.

  13. #13
    Loucine Guest
    DSpring and I posted at the same time so I read his post after I had already posted mine. It's interesting what he's saying from a man's perspective.

    I lived a simmilar situation 10 years ago and the rivalry between my first and second husband still continues even though I'm no longer with either one of them.

  14. #14
    kyrie310 Guest
    [QUOTE=DSpring] you're a conquest who's not fully conquered...you're still another man's wife...so i woudln't necessarily confuse his words or questions as a genuine attempt to develope something deeper with you...this may sound harsh but...once he has you...then the thrill of the chase is over...the challenge accomplished...and you might be left to pick up the pieces...

    Dspring - Don't think I haven't thought this myself. I have torn this whole thing apart and put it back together so many times trying to figure out why he wants to do this. I have a hard time believing that he would just walk away because the "chase" is over. I guess I feel there is more between us than that. Maybe I just don't understand the male ego, I don't know. This is was scares me. But...I know if that happened, it would break my heart, but I would survive non the less. I will be ok.

  15. #15
    DSpring Guest
    kyrie...what is the status with you and your husband? did you move out? i must have missed that...

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