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Thread: Lost in the 50's and my rant

  1. #1
    Just MiMi is offline Senior Member
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    Lost in the 50's and my rant

    I joined a Christian dating site in order to meet men who shared my beliefs. I've had some of the strangest responses. The most normal was a vitamin salesman. He was a kind man; but not my type.

    Then there was the minister, who ministered as God made him....No thank you. Although eliminating clothing from my budget would help me save more.

    Then there was a Baptist associate pastor who on the third date asked for sex. He's a little more normal; but forgot a few verses in his Bible. Besides, if you ask it's unmanly. He almost begged.

    Then there is a CEO whom I visited in Tennessee. I liked him and he is very handsome. However, I must trust, love, and know I want to live with someone before I want physical contact. I don't want to have sex and then realize there is no way I could spend even a week-end in their company. One date is not enough to discover this.

    "John" has written a few times inviting me back. Asking what is "wrong" with me? He has said I became shut down in Iraq. I'm weary of trying to explain myself. I try to never judge and would appreciate the same consideration. He has said I'm "not normal." This is his latest response:

    "Crazy, I guess. Maybe the stitches in my gum dissolved into my brain. Or maybe ... I've been smelling the scent of the candle too long - having never held you, touched you, kissed you ... It's very much, challenging, living alone. Frustrating, not being inside you..."

    This is insulting to me and I've not responded. I might expect a note like this from a lover; but after only one date???? I've learned relationships do not work if they are based on meeting a need. This certainly will happen when two people love one another. However, I'm looking for someone who cares about me, appreciates my mind and sees me as potential life partner.

    This note is just bad manners and I'm furious I can't find a gentleman who treats a woman like a lady. Am I doomed to be alone forever?
    coffeeman58 likes this.

  2. #2
    christina923 is offline Senior Member
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    what a string of bad luck...but keep at it!!

  3. #3
    pinkunicorn's Avatar
    pinkunicorn is offline Senior Member
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    There are definitely a lot of "weird" people out there--and to think they are just what someone else is looking for!

    Many times, you end up finding love when you aren't even looking, and where you least expect it.
    Never try to fit in when you are meant to stand out.


  4. #4
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Keep trying, the odds are against finding a good man online, so increase the odds by increasing the number of tries.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  5. #5
    theREALTrish's Avatar
    theREALTrish is offline Senior Member
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    Just because it's a "Christian" dating site, doesn't mean the men are going to be sincere or share the same values....obviously. I agree with the others. The chances of finding someone online is very small, and the chances of meeting someone are greater when one isn't actively looking....strange as that may seem.

    But, don't give up. There really are wonderful men out there.

  6. #6
    Just MiMi is offline Senior Member
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    Thanks!

    I'm in a small town with limited single men my age. All my friends in Iraq were on dating sites and stated they were wonderful.

    Now I learn they are not! I didn't want to do this in the first place! My social life is non-existant. I must find a way to change this.

    Your comments are greatly appreciated!

    Blessings,
    Mimi

  7. #7
    Redhead's Avatar
    Redhead is offline Senior Member
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    If all of your friends had wonderful experiences at dating sites, they must have been awfully lucky. This is not the norm. I know FEW people where this worked well, and I am happy for them. But if you knew German I could send you a link to a collection of bad dating stories. After having read all of the 100 pages, you would seriously come to the conclusion that your experience was still far away from hell and that you were lucky.

    How far is the next big town? Is there any chance that you could go to the theatre, to a public swimming pool, your town hopefully has a public libary,.....etc. If you become generally open to talk to people, then you will also talk with men. For example go to a DIY store and pick something you want to do at home and then ask a guy for advice. For example which nail and dowel size to use for a picture of a certain size.
    Or at the library....if you see a guy you might like to talk to and he is in a section of books you could be interested in, ask him "excuse me, I am looking for......(type of book) ....is there an author you could recommend me?".
    I could give you more examples, but I need to go to work soon.

    You could also put up an ad and found a jogging group. Not only women but also men will join, or one of the women jogging might have a divorced brother.
    In my opinion you don't need a big town by all means to meet a guy. Otherwise women in villages would all be single. When I met my last ex bf I was on my way thru an industrial area where I did not expect to meet a single human being at all (at night, after office hours). Love can also come up at places where you don't expect it.

    Get away from online dating. Get real.

  8. #8
    soul is offline Senior Member
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    I don't think you should give up on the online approach, although if you can add some real that would not only enchance your social life but also increase your chances.

    I think whether online or in real the best way to meet someone is a social enviroment. If you go to a dating site it seems like you're fair game to be propositioned, whereas I think meeting someone under a less contrived situation they wouldn't normally be as bold. I've never used or been a member or even perused a dating site - but my pre conceived idea of it smacks of a little desperation and I guess some of the less savoury characters who are just out to get their jollys off, might think along those lines too and so are a little bolder about what they want and asking for it.

    What I would recormend are online chat rooms. Some are topic based, so if you're after a particular type of man, in your case a Christian, then seek out the Christian chat rooms.

  9. #9
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    This from a Christian dating site?

    Who runs it, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggard?
    chi77 likes this.
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

  10. #10
    chi77 Guest

    i know

    I know I bit the bullet a couple months ago and joined a dating sight and it was very short lived....like less than a week. You were brave to try it and go on some dates. Better to have tried. I agree there are a lot of weirdos out there, but there are also good guys and it is hard to meet them. Personally I can't deal with the pressure of that first "blind" date and would rather meet someone without that.

    Are there any Meet-Up groups near you? Try this link Find Meetup groups near you - Meetup. If you aren't familiar with it, it's groups of people with a common interest or interests who meet regularly for pot lucks or movies or activities or whatever.

  11. #11
    kittylane's Avatar
    kittylane is offline Senior Member
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    Mimi sometimes the most appropriate response is "Ewwww......"

    I spend too much time with the G-Kids but ewww pretty much sums it up.

    Also, I think I need a kootie shot pretty much nails it too.

    Ga-ross.......... So sorry, obviously these guys need much more than female company.... The right one will show up, keep the faith.

  12. #12
    SummerBob is offline Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redhead
    Get away from online dating. Get real.
    I have to interject.

    I met my wife through the pre-Internet version of "online dating", the paper personals. A lot of people said what they say now about online dating --- it's for desperate people, there are a lot of weirdos out there, chances of meeting a quality person are small, and on and on.

    Yes, I had some bad experiences, but had the sense to not pursue those relationships. I also had bad experiences meeting people at school, church and the workplace.

    When I failed I picked myself up, dusted myself off and tried again. I finally found an international introduction service and started writing to young ladies in the Philippines, many of whom don't have an age preference. Again I used intuition and common sense, and knew when I met the right person. It worked for me.

    I know the adage that the right person comes along when you least expect it, but that doesn't always work for everybody. If I had relied on church, work, local social clubs, bars, chance meetings at grocery stores, etc., etc., etc., I might still be waiting today... especially given that I had a preference for people not my age.

    You can have good or bad experiences meeting people online or at clubs. It all depends on the person.
    Like Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."

  13. #13
    kittylane's Avatar
    kittylane is offline Senior Member
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    I agree. The last person I expected to meet was someone I had left all my guards down with. He ended up knowing the real me because I told him what I wanted in a man, what was desirable to me as a woman. Because he was not attracting the right girl. I was trying to help him find someone.

    I did not think he was taking notes.

    I told him these truths about me so he could attract other females....what made girls tick.

    I got super lucky. I prayed a whole heck of a lot and did take care of myself and I was pretty gorgeous even if I did not know it. So, take care of yourself.

    Love yourself. Pray.....Make every opportunity to better yourself. Be happy. Be as pretty and wonderful as you can. Love yourself.

  14. #14
    wilsonjack230 is offline Member
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    Make a new thread on this fourm and write about these people but do not mentioned them then you will get some good respone may be.
    Quote library is a great place to read all your favourite quotes. Love quotes, life quotes, Inspirational quotes and many more.

  15. #15
    Azureth is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by wilsonjack230 View Post
    Make a new thread on this fourm and write about these people but do not mentioned them then you will get some good respone may be.

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