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Thread: 11 months single

  1. #1
    Blue-Angel75's Avatar
    Blue-Angel75 is offline Blue Angel
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    Cool 11 months single

    Hello all,

    I have been on this site since probably 8 years now. I recently came back and it was because I was away from the site for around 1.5 year that I lost my old handle, so I made this new one. My old one was RookieCanuck.


    I was engaged up until November 2011. I have been a true wreck since the break up. To date I am a walking mess....long story short: she and I broke up for all the wrong reasons---that/s the path life has taken at the moment, and I move on.

    I have an extremely successful business life is great. NON of the women that I meet, date, or try to go long term with even help me move on from my ex.

    In a nut shell, i just want to say that logging onto this site and reading some of the stuff OTHERS are going through help me stay alive. This feels like a life line to me many of times.

    I recognize a few of the names that have been around a while, and you guys are always out there helping out.


    Thank you to the team of mods that run this place, and to each member that brings their sweet bitter stories to the table.!!


    This place fckign rocks!!!


    Blue Angel
    "Mimic what successful people are doing, copy it, practice it, costumize it so that it suits you, I promise you this: you will not fail!"
    "If you don't create an opportunity, you will never experience failure--therefore never really experience successes" Both by me!

    If you flirt with me, I may just flirt right back at ya!

  2. #2
    soul is offline Senior Member
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    No chance to make a reconnection and maybe try again? Sometimes, some time appart can make you realise a few things and good comes from what was bad .
    Blue-Angel75 likes this.

  3. #3
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    M&M
    M&M is offline Member
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    Hey I been single for 30 years, I got you beat, ha!

    Ya its nice to have a place like this to come, huh? Hope you find someone really awesome soon that you can swoon over and share with us

  4. #4
    Blue-Angel75's Avatar
    Blue-Angel75 is offline Blue Angel
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    Hi soul!


    She and I walked away not as enemies...and we both left the break up very much unfinished and with so much to still work on.

    I over heard from a mutual friend that she has not been in a good place since the break up.
    I often drive, it helps me clear my head, and I always go around the area where we lived. I have a new car now, so she may not recognize me.

    She and I will meet again....something deep down in my heart tells me that we are not done.

    We have not communicated with each other since April---I changed my number for the first time in 10 years after the break up...it was a stupid move, but I needed sanity for me and my work. She still has an old email account.

    For now, i am just sleeping with all the wrong women


    Blue Angel
    "Mimic what successful people are doing, copy it, practice it, costumize it so that it suits you, I promise you this: you will not fail!"
    "If you don't create an opportunity, you will never experience failure--therefore never really experience successes" Both by me!

    If you flirt with me, I may just flirt right back at ya!

  5. #5
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    You probably have read my account of my separation from my guy for 9 months. We made up and have now been married for 2 years. We just realized that no matter how bad things were, they were not as bad as not being together. My mom and dad got married, divorced, married, divorced and finally married, no divorce.

    Maybe you should try to contact her to see what the chances are of a reconciliation.
    soul and Blue-Angel75 like this.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  6. #6
    MissMuffins's Avatar
    MissMuffins is offline Senior Member
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    If your heart tells you that your relationship with your ex fiancee is not over, you must try to talk to her. Even if it should happen that the two of you are not meant to be together as lovers, but as dear friends, it still means that you're meant to be in each other's lives.

    *big hugs*

    MM
    "Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson

  7. #7
    soul is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue-Angel75 View Post
    Hi soul!


    She and I walked away not as enemies...and we both left the break up very much unfinished and with so much to still work on.

    I over heard from a mutual friend that she has not been in a good place since the break up.
    I often drive, it helps me clear my head, and I always go around the area where we lived. I have a new car now, so she may not recognize me.

    She and I will meet again....something deep down in my heart tells me that we are not done.

    We have not communicated with each other since April---I changed my number for the first time in 10 years after the break up..., but I needed sanity for me and my work. She still has an old email account.

    For now, i am just sleeping with all the wrong women



    Blue Angel
    Hi Blue Angel,

    Well allow me to be Miss Captain Obvious and say, bite the bullet and get in contact with her. Don't wait for her to contact you or leave it to chance that you bump into each other. If you've changed your number thats a clear signal to her you don't want contact - if she's tried to contact you. So the balls in your court me thinks

    You've both had long enough appart to see there are still strong feelings there to justify at least a friendly chat as starters.

    Also you won't mend a broken heart by sleeping around, if anything it will just magnify what you're missing.
    Mebel and theREALTrish like this.

  8. #8
    Blue-Angel75's Avatar
    Blue-Angel75 is offline Blue Angel
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    Thank you all who have posted in this thread. There are no right or wrong answers to the comments, just different opinions.
    They are appreciated.

    All my friends, everything tells me that I should send her an email and touch base...it has been 11 months now since we broke up.
    Up until the 3rd week of Januray we used to meet once per week and it was too emotional.

    making contact with her amplifies a very big window of opportunity; for acceptance and perhaps reopen channel of communication, and OR for rejection and all **** breaks lose.

    I am at a point in my life, where I have an extemely powerful business o nthe go, my head is sane (i don't drink or do recreational drugs), I have a tight group friends also.
    Should communication be initiated on my side, only to be rejected, it will destroy me personally. I have too much too lose.

    If you never ask the answer WILL ALWAYS BE NO. Funny how that is such a strong component in my equation.

    I recall her back in march when she was walking her puppy and I made a U turn to go see her, she was so mad at me, she was upset.
    The break up, as with many, left broken dreams, and unfullfilled promises.

    Time heals? Yes it kind of does. And yes perhaps it is time for me to say hello to her. But i am wayyyy too nervous and aware that she may not be receptive.


    We did not endure abuse, nor cheating, or anything like that. I just had too much going on in my business, that I needed to make it flourish...and I placed her second place in my life. A mistake I carry on my shoulders daily.
    I treated her with love, kissed every single step on the ground she walked....but my concentration was in my business.
    Now that the business has flourishd and is providing me with all the financial stability and more...she is not there to enjoy with me.

    I take 9mgs of melatonin daily because I can't sleep. I can only sleep with the aid of the supplemement.



    Yes I am sleeping with all the wrong women...life for me is not the best.

    I did reiky for a while too, in hopes to find resolution, but it only intensified my feelings for her.




    You guys are amazing, you all really are, thank you so much!!


    blue Angel
    "Mimic what successful people are doing, copy it, practice it, costumize it so that it suits you, I promise you this: you will not fail!"
    "If you don't create an opportunity, you will never experience failure--therefore never really experience successes" Both by me!

    If you flirt with me, I may just flirt right back at ya!

  9. #9
    soul is offline Senior Member
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    Blue, I totally get that staying in contact with your ex was too emotionally charged to be able to sustain it (been there bought the T-shirt). I also get that while you're as you are, it feels like a safe place.

    But, I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit for how strong you actually are. They say 'darkest hour is just before the dawn' haven't you had your darkest hour in these last 11 months? If you don't put some closure to this one way or another, you will always feel, or at least for a very long while to come, in a state of suspended limbo. As a business man you know you can't leave your businesses success to 'chance' or in the hands of 'fate' and neither can you do this with your personal life, if you want happyness and it to florish. Are you really that 'fragile' that you can't face to contact her? What if she does reject you? at least then you would be able to move on with your life and close the chapter to this story and off this emotional rolla coaster you've been riding with a clear concience.

    From what you voiced here, you've sent her every message to say you've moved on. You changed your number, you've changed your car, your business has thrived and you haven't contacted her even to say "hey how are you". She will have learnt some info about what you've been up to, trust me.

    She may not skip through hoops when you make initial contact, no doubt she's been hurt badly, but neither is she likely to slam the door in your face. She's not a mind reader, she doesn't know you still love her, that you've missed her and how emotionally tortured you've felt and feel.

    You both shared enough love that you planned to make a lifetime commitment to each other. I would put to you, if you really do love this woman, I mean really love her with all your heart that you'll find the inner strength to make contact.

    Finding your true love is a lot harder in this world than making a successful business, don't let her slip away.

  10. #10
    laurad121 is offline Senior Member
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    I echo what Soul said but have an idea to add. Why not go buy a beautiful blank card (like at Papyrus if you have this store locally) and pour out your heart and mail it? You can leave a return address off if you are afraid she won't open it. You can put your updated phone number, email address and home address inside. I would also say at the end of it that if she ever loved you at all you would appreciate the courtesy of a response whether it be a letter, email, phone call or text of some sort even if it is just one sentence saying "I am not interested in being in contact again" or "I am not interested right now but will think about it" so if she isn't interested then you know not to contact her again. You could also suggest at the end of the letter that you try just being friends if that is what she is only willing to give whether that be a phone relationship only, just the occasional email or text, whatever she feels comfortable with at this time. If you guys start slow with limited contact and taking it slow with no expectations then things could grow and/or evolve over time. I think it is worth the gamble of rejection so you know for sure. It is so hard to meet a wonderful person and you may be giving up too easily. Just food for thought and one hopeless romantic's opinion
    theREALTrish likes this.

  11. #11
    Blue-Angel75's Avatar
    Blue-Angel75 is offline Blue Angel
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    I absolutely love the posts.

    I have been thinking a long time now to just send her something in the mail. You guys are giving me the courage and a comfortable approach to this.

    I will come back to these posts this weekend and read them again, and take action.

    I don't want to send her an email, but yes perhaps a card by mail would def get her attention hahhahha

    I have gone through all the motions, good and bad...but in the end my heart always tells me that it's time to just go into her bubble and let her know I am there.


    Thank you both!!


    Blue Angel
    laurad121 likes this.
    "Mimic what successful people are doing, copy it, practice it, costumize it so that it suits you, I promise you this: you will not fail!"
    "If you don't create an opportunity, you will never experience failure--therefore never really experience successes" Both by me!

    If you flirt with me, I may just flirt right back at ya!

  12. #12
    laurad121 is offline Senior Member
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    I'm so glad you are considering sending her a card. You sound sincere in your desire to be with her and I support you in that. Let us know what happens. I am rooting for you!

  13. #13
    Blue-Angel75's Avatar
    Blue-Angel75 is offline Blue Angel
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    Thumbs up

    Its 5Am Saturday morning.
    I have been up since 3:30AM.

    I don't want to sound like a princess or anything like that. It seems that the more I talk about this with my friends and now here on the site, the more real it is becoming.

    I have made a decision, based on safety for me and my business.
    I will not make contact with her.

    I was thinking that YES, she probably has tried to text me, and NEVER got a reply back---because my phone changed.
    She has 2 email accounts that are still active, I have had those for a good 10 years now.

    I am going to stand my ground.

    I have too much to lose right now, to take rejection (if that were the case)----so in the mean time, time will wash away the blood shed.

    She is a connection that remains open in my life.


    I want to thank each and every one of you. You have offered valuable REAL advice to me.

    I have done too much healing and have undergone too deep pain, to open up that wound again. And believe me, I know she is the one for me....we are not together for reasons.

    I need to think that "I" need to dig deep down, and collect all the reasons why SHE came into my life, and use those elements going on forward.

    She came into my life for 2 years for very strong reasons.

    If I see contact from her at some point, you can be sure I will run over here to let you guys know.


    HUGS AND KISSES!!!


    Blue Angel
    "Mimic what successful people are doing, copy it, practice it, costumize it so that it suits you, I promise you this: you will not fail!"
    "If you don't create an opportunity, you will never experience failure--therefore never really experience successes" Both by me!

    If you flirt with me, I may just flirt right back at ya!

  14. #14
    soul is offline Senior Member
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    Doh @ you! You need a comedy bash on the head Mr Blue. I'm not going to attempt to try and reason with you as to why you're wrong, only because it's your choice, nothing to do with me and it's not really for me to convince you.

    However! what your saying comes across more of a pride issue than self preservation. No ones suggesting getting down on one knee and begging forgiveness or w/e. You could at least make some effort and meet the poor lady part way, knowing she probably has tried to contact you. Wheres the harm is sending an innocent card asking how she is? Will that really make your life fall appart? You will only get rejection if you ask for something. You @ this stage, if you make contact, aren't asking for anything from her, only to see how she is and open a window of talking. Once you jump that hurdle then you can evaluate the situation and decide what you want to do, you may even change your mind and decide she's not the one.

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