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Thread: gawd awful update

  1. #1
    kitkat620's Avatar
    kitkat620 is offline wishful thinker
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    gawd awful update

    Hi everyone. I needed to post this update about the YM that I met online a few months back, that seemed to be playing games with me, but who, for some masochistic reason, I couldn't let go of. (Please go back a re-read my prior posts if you are not familiar, thanks.) I know I am going to get a lot of well-deserved grief for this, but here it goes:
    We kept in touch, with him always making first contact. He tried a couple more times to hook up, but I always had something else going on so couldn't commit. Plus, I still didn't trust him, of course. All of our conversations, mostly via text, were brief. Basically he would start with 'hi' or 'what are your plans for tonight'. I would answer, but always made an excuse when he suggested meeting up. Again, he had lost my trust. But, guys, I feel something for this goof ball...ugh! So, anywho, this has been going on since the last time I posted. He would maybe contact me once or twice a week.
    Now here is the funny thing. I had canceled my profile with the online dating site where we initially met. Things just weren't panning out for me. Well, maybe out of boredom, curiosity, or more truthfully, the fact that I did somewhat miss the flirty banter of some of the messages I had received, I signed back up under a different profile heading and picture (still me but a change in wording). Well, guess who sends me a message wanting to talk and commenting on my beauty? Yes, him! Supposedly not knowing it was me (I posted a different profile pic).
    Coincidentally, he texted me that very same day. I told him to check his messages on the dating site and he texted back 'you' and I said yes it is me. He claims he didn't realize that but I don't know about that.
    Sooooo, he asks if we can meet. I asked if he was going to follow through with our plans or stand me up once again. He promised to come through. We made plans for Friday evening to meet at my house. He showed! We talked, he admitted to being a jerk and said he was working on that, blah, blah, blah. I was/am smitten.
    So after talking, laughing, both declaring how comfortable we were with each other, things started to get a little heated. I am going to try and be PG-rated here, but this is the part that really blows my mind: there was foreplay (involving fingers), him to me; now it has been a very long time since I have had any sexual contact, and I started bleeding. He commented, but didn't immediately stop until I started bleeding more. I was so humiliated and embarrassed, I told him to go wash up and I headed to the upstairs bathroom to do the same. Like I said, I was/am very mortified and I still don't understand what happened or why I started bleeding (I've been going through menopause for almost 2 years now). I sat in the upstairs bathroom (he was downstairs) for a bit, crying a little and trying to figure out what to do next, when I heard the downstairs door close. I looked out the bathroom window and sure enough, he was leaving!!!!! He drove away. No good bye, no are you okay, no kiss my ***, nothing! And, I haven't heard from him since.
    I immediately deleted his number from my phone, I don't trust myself, and thank god I did because after having a few glasses of wine over the weekend I was so so tempted to text him. But I didn't and I won't.
    Is this guy a lost cause? Am I that much of a fool, still? I seem to be drawn to men that are not any good for me in any way, shape or form.
    I had an awful weekend after that. I could not get him off of my mind trying to figure out why he would do such a thing after we obviously got along so well before 'the incident'. I know I shouldn't have let things get so out of hand (no pun intended), but it has been so long since I have felt a mans touch.....
    I am basically venting here, but I do need some of your direct, slap in the face, advice.
    I am slowly accepting the fact that he is not for me or will only cause me more pain if I see him again. I know he will contact me eventually. He always does....
    How can a mature, not bad looking, fun, smart woman, such as myself, be such an idiot?!
    "We must become the change we want to see."
    Mahatma Gandhi

  2. #2
    gorillagirl Guest
    No man that gave a hoot about you would have left. Curious, are you still menstruating or are you in menopause yet? If you're in menopause, please go see a doc. Let me repeat, No man that gave a hoot about you would have left without apologizing and saying goodbye. Kick this piece of garbage to the curb!
    Last edited by gorillagirl; 10-17-2012 at 12:26 AM.

  3. #3
    chi77 Guest
    No kitkat I don't think you're an idiot, but this guy....unfortunately there are people like this in the world, and the fact that you got caught up with him doesn't mean you're an idiot.

    Him leaving is one thing...I could kind of understand that from a normal person. He probably didn't know what to do, and maybe thought you were waiting for him to leave. But that is beside the point, he should have called you when he got home to see if you were okay.

    He left and didn't call because he is a bad person and doesn't give a **** about you, other than the opportunity to score with an older woman.

    If you see this guy again though, I will change my mind and agree that you are an idiot.
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  4. #4
    soul is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by kitkat620 View Post
    Hi everyone. I needed to post this update about the YM that I met online a few months back, that seemed to be playing games with me, but who, for some masochistic reason, I couldn't let go of. (Please go back a re-read my prior posts if you are not familiar, thanks.) I know I am going to get a lot of well-deserved grief for this, but here it goes:
    Kitkat I'll revert back to what I said to you before on your previous thread
    "Theres something obviously 'there' between you both, otherwise this would have been a closed book already"

    Firstly before anything else you must go get yourself checked out by a doctor for peace of mind.

    In regards this YM, I'm inclined to agree with Chi, in regards why he possibly left like that and also agree he should have called later to check on you at least.

    You aren't an idiot and no amount of scolding from us, if you had been one, is going to stop you from being in contact with him again, you secretly know that right? I do. So... it's really about what to do next, rather than tell you don't ever speak to him again.

    Here's some questions for you. When he was explaining and admitting to being a jerk, what was his explanation for it? the reasoning?

    What stopped you from calling him and asking him why he left? If the answer to that last question is, it was his responsiblity to check and call you first as he's the one who left. That is a form of game playing or buying into what he's supposedly been doing. Or let me put it another way, if you knew him well, like say your ex husband, you would have called him right? and asked, you wouldn't have waited because its 'his turn'.

    To really get to the bottom of all of this you really need to get to know him better. From the get go, your interactions have been a little off beat considering you didn't and don't know each other very well. As I recall, you got on great when you chatted on the dating site initially, then you met him but you had a flip out on him because he didn't show up or was late, I can't quite recall. Since then you've both been going back and forth with random text messages and now this latest scenario. A lot of the problem as I see it so far, is that you're having to guess work what each others thinking, trying to interpret each other actions, neither of you are being totally upfront with each other, by that I mean there some element of game playing (mind games).

    Why did he leave? was he embaressed and felt a bit awkward to stay. Was it because he realised theres no point in staying he wasn't going to get 'any' so why hang around. Was it because he thought you'd feel better if he left ( maybe he heard you crying or realised you were upset ). Was it a guilty concience, he only wanted to fill a life time goal to bed an older woman but realised he couldn't be that cruel to you after seeing you in a vunerable light? You can't know the real answer until you ask.

    If you meet again, which I'm sure you will I would take away some temptation and meet him during the day for a coffee or meal and get to know each other better, then you will know more of what you're dealing with and whether you want to carry on walking the walk with him.

  5. #5
    MissMuffins's Avatar
    MissMuffins is offline Senior Member
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    hey kitkat...

    I agree with gg, and chi, and soul.

    Get checked out. It could be something as nasty as he put something in you or scratched you intentionally, or it could be as innocuous as he had a bad manicure. Maybe he left because he felt awkward, wasn't sure you were coming back, whatever. However, he's an absolute jack-*** for not calling you later to see if you're okay.

    I think you're not an idiot, but that you made a really idiotic decision. He's kind of stalked you for how many months, has possibly hurt you on purpose, and now knows where you live. That kind of worries me.

    Going out on a limb and speaking for the group, here...You're going to do what you're going to do, and we're going to love you anyway. We really, really hope you kick this guy to the curb of your life, though. Put stock in what he told you about him being a jerk, and listen to what he told you about why he's being a jerk. Those things are part of who he is, and they're not going to go away.

    *big hugs*
    MM
    Last edited by MissMuffins; 10-17-2012 at 08:46 PM. Reason: How come hell and damn aren't blocked, but *** is?
    "Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson

  6. #6
    degausser is offline Senior Member
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    Just curious what kind of bleeding it was? I've been with several men who had no idea what they were doing with their fingers, and my vagina suffered the consequences. Whether it be a bad (or nonexistent) manicure like MM said, or just ramming their fingers in there all haphazardly. Ugh. If it was a little uncomfortable, you may have gotten scratched. But if you can tell that isn't what happened or aren't sure, see your doctor. If you're still in menopause, it might just be a little spotting. But it's always better to check.

    In regards to the actual male situation, everyone has given very good advice as usual. Don't beat yourself up too much - dating turns us all into idiots at one point or another If he does contact you again, be cautious. I don't like the sound of a guy who would just run out on you like that. Things happen, vaginas bleed for all kinds of reasons. If he's interested in them, he better get used to that.

  7. #7
    chi77 Guest
    ok, had to post this. this guy is something else. just texted me "i've been trying to sleep with an older woman forever, my stars won't align "
    i replied "maybe if you change your ways, standing someone up 3x isn't gonna get you much of anything...."
    no response as of yet.
    what a MORON!


    kitkat i copied this from your original thread about this guy.

    i just really feel like this guy is bad news for you. it seems to me he has shown no feelings whatsoever. i mean not even normal, polite, caring about you as a person kind of feelings.

    he split the other night, knowing there was some kind of issue with you, and didn't even care enough to check on you. i guess his stars didn't align again so he was out of there.

    he's young and handsome and that bad boy thing may be coming into play so its hard to resist, but i think this guy is toxic for you.

  8. #8
    maryb is offline Member
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    Women do that, bleed, of all ages. for all he knows you just got your period, it happens, and you could have bluffed it like that. I'm sorry you feel so awful.
    i can give him the benefit of the doubt that maybe he felt awkward, etc, but a guy who sees you as some kind of trophy - I've been wanting to sleep with an older woman forever... that's just icky.

    Please don't be mortified by this. There are better people out there for you, I'm sure of it... but sometimes you have to get rid of the bad ones to find the good, and if he is for you, he'll make it known. Peace. Mary

  9. #9
    gorillagirl Guest
    Give me his contact info. I will go beat the daylights outta him.
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  10. #10
    kitkat620's Avatar
    kitkat620 is offline wishful thinker
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    As always, thank you all so much for your honest, heartfelt responses. I KNEW I wouldn't regret posting that utterly embarrassing scenario.
    Re-reading my post, reading all of your responses - including copied text from my last posts about this guy, was like a punch in the gut. I placed myself as an outsider reading the exact post but posted by someone else and my god, I would of definitely said to kick that ******* to the curb!
    Why is it we could give such great advice to someone else, but when it comes to our own situations that same advice is like swallowing a bitter pill?
    Let me try and answer some of your questions.
    We discussed about him being a rude, don't give a **** person. He admitted it. He said it's how he has always been, but claims he is trying to change that and be better.
    He said he just doesn't think much about how certain actions he takes (like not showing up or calling when he says he will) will effect another person. When I told him it just isn't right, he didn't argue but agreed and says he is starting to realize that.
    His personality, I would have to describe as feckless (had to look it up but that is him to a "T".) He almost has no reaction to things. He rarely smiles. I asked him about that too and he said that is the persona (my word, not his) he is trying to project.

    As far as my bleeding, I have not had a period in almost 2 years. And, yes, he was a little rough and I did feel a little sore afterwards.
    Honestly, I really think he is kind of inexperienced. Throughout the time I have known him, he tried to project himself as this sexual dynamo. And he did say he was a little nervous being with me because this was his first time meeting up with an older woman at her home (this was when we were talking, not fooling around).

    Another thing I want to mention is he was paranoid about my son/23 coming home. (I didn't tell him I asked my son to keep himself busy after work because I was having company.)
    Honestly, I think I am just coming up with excuses for why he acted the way he did. Bottom line, it wasn't right no matter which way I twist it, mix it up, turn it around and dump it out. He left. Walked out on me. He didn't call. He hasn't called.

    The reason I didn't/won't call him is because I really don't know what I could or would say to him. It surprised me that he left, yes, but not that much. It's almost like if I would have went downstairs right away or waited for him, what would I say? I was very very humiliated. I was disgusted with myself to have let things get as far as they did. I had no intention of having any sexual contact with him that night (I even told him that and he said it didn't matter. He accepted it).

    He didn't leave when I told him earlier in the night that we weren't going to have sex that night. He didn't leave when I jokingly asked, if we did see each other again, would he always come in his work clothes (he's a mechanic and it's much easier for him to come over straight from work, which is 15 min. away from me, than drive home, which is 45 minutes each way) and he seemed embarrassed when he replied 'yeah, probably.' He didn't leave when I opened the door in sweats. Something spooked him. Maybe I intimidated him.

    Maybe I feel I am to blame for what happened. I kissed him first. Maybe I led him on. I don't know. I just put my wants in front of what was the right thing to do. And I'm not saying what he did was ok, it wasn't. I'm just saying maybe he's not to take all the blame for the night ending the way it did.

    He is an immature, selfish, rude boy that is used to doing his own thing without any repercussions. And I am an older woman that wants to be treated well. Best thing for me is to let this sweetheart go. He did touch my heart in some way though. Maybe it is the bad boy thing, maybe it is his looks or demeanor. And if he does call or text me again, I really don't know what I'll do. That's another reason I deleted his number, it is much easier for me to end things and move on with NO contact. Even though it's hard as hell right now, I know the best thing he could do for me is leave me alone.

    Please comment. It helps me so much just knowing I have you, my friends, to vent to.
    "We must become the change we want to see."
    Mahatma Gandhi

  11. #11
    degausser is offline Senior Member
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    Please don't start blaming yourself for this nonsense. He is 100% responsible for how the night ended. As Mary said, for all he knows, you got your period. And if that's enough to make him run for the hills, he needs to grow the heck up, and you're better off not getting to know him any better. I don't see any way in which you are to blame for him walking out on you.

    You said something that really caught my attention- about his doesn't-give-a-**** persona, and not thinking about how his actions will affect other people. Which he's "trying" to change, of course. And he's "trying" to be better. I don't know why women have this mentality, that indifferent men are "trying" to be better. It's like as soon as a man says that, they have women waiting for them. Hanging on to this fantasy of what could be, if they're just patient enough. It's why women stick around so long in relationships they're better off without. Like, if he's self aware enough to know his shortcomings, he's going to change eventually. And it's just nonsense. No one has to "try" to treat others with kindness and respect. You either choose to, or you don't. Our own actions aren't some kind of inexorable force. We choose to treat people a certain way.

    He chose to be a flake, then chose to walk out on you.

    Towards the end of your post, you seemed to get away from blaming yourself, and get back on track with realizing you deserve to be treated well, and that's awesome. But if he does get back in touch with you, and is giving you a bunch of lines about how he's "trying" to be better, just remember that everything he does, he is choosing to do. He has control over his own life, and you deserve someone who chooses to treat you well.
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  12. #12
    kitkat620's Avatar
    kitkat620 is offline wishful thinker
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    Quote Originally Posted by degausser View Post
    Please don't start blaming yourself for this nonsense. He is 100% responsible for how the night ended. As Mary said, for all he knows, you got your period. And if that's enough to make him run for the hills, he needs to grow the heck up, and you're better off not getting to know him any better. I don't see any way in which you are to blame for him walking out on you.

    You said something that really caught my attention- about his doesn't-give-a-**** persona, and not thinking about how his actions will affect other people. Which he's "trying" to change, of course. And he's "trying" to be better. I don't know why women have this mentality, that indifferent men are "trying" to be better. It's like as soon as a man says that, they have women waiting for them. Hanging on to this fantasy of what could be, if they're just patient enough. It's why women stick around so long in relationships they're better off without. Like, if he's self aware enough to know his shortcomings, he's going to change eventually. And it's just nonsense. No one has to "try" to treat others with kindness and respect. You either choose to, or you don't. Our own actions aren't some kind of inexorable force. We choose to treat people a certain way.

    He chose to be a flake, then chose to walk out on you.

    Towards the end of your post, you seemed to get away from blaming yourself, and get back on track with realizing you deserve to be treated well, and that's awesome. But if he does get back in touch with you, and is giving you a bunch of lines about how he's "trying" to be better, just remember that everything he does, he is choosing to do. He has control over his own life, and you deserve someone who chooses to treat you well.
    Thank you much for that.
    A lot of my postings are vents and tend to get a little off track, but then I regain my footing (and hopefully, sense) and get back on the right path.
    It helps so much just to be able to re-read what I have posted and the responses. I need to see things on paper (virtual or otherwise) sometimes to get it to sink in.

    I really think Clem is too young. He tried to prove to me otherwise when we first started texting/talking. Said he is older than his years, but I think that was one of his many ploys to try to get me in the sack.
    I think one of the main things that really bothers me is that I had come so far, emotionally, after leaving my husband after so many years of mental anguish and despair, that by allowing another, I don't know, jerk?, get to me again kind of scares me and makes me think that maybe I am not ready for another relationship.
    I wish I could handle a FWB type of relationship, but I don't think I'm made for that. I cannot separate sex from intimacy. I am not that strong emotionally. I wish I were because I am really missing a man's touch. I just seem to chose the wrong men.
    "We must become the change we want to see."
    Mahatma Gandhi

  13. #13
    MissMuffins's Avatar
    MissMuffins is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by kitkat620 View Post
    As always, thank you all so much for your honest, heartfelt responses. I KNEW I wouldn't regret posting that utterly embarrassing scenario.
    Re-reading my post, reading all of your responses - including copied text from my last posts about this guy, was like a punch in the gut. I placed myself as an outsider reading the exact post but posted by someone else and my god, I would of definitely said to kick that ******* to the curb!
    Why is it we could give such great advice to someone else, but when it comes to our own situations that same advice is like swallowing a bitter pill?
    Let me try and answer some of your questions.
    We discussed about him being a rude, don't give a **** person. He admitted it. He said it's how he has always been, but claims he is trying to change that and be better.
    He said he just doesn't think much about how certain actions he takes (like not showing up or calling when he says he will) will effect another person. When I told him it just isn't right, he didn't argue but agreed and says he is starting to realize that.
    His personality, I would have to describe as feckless (had to look it up but that is him to a "T".) He almost has no reaction to things. He rarely smiles. I asked him about that too and he said that is the persona (my word, not his) he is trying to project.

    As far as my bleeding, I have not had a period in almost 2 years. And, yes, he was a little rough and I did feel a little sore afterwards.
    Honestly, I really think he is kind of inexperienced. Throughout the time I have known him, he tried to project himself as this sexual dynamo. And he did say he was a little nervous being with me because this was his first time meeting up with an older woman at her home (this was when we were talking, not fooling around).

    Another thing I want to mention is he was paranoid about my son/23 coming home. (I didn't tell him I asked my son to keep himself busy after work because I was having company.)
    Honestly, I think I am just coming up with excuses for why he acted the way he did. Bottom line, it wasn't right no matter which way I twist it, mix it up, turn it around and dump it out. He left. Walked out on me. He didn't call. He hasn't called.

    The reason I didn't/won't call him is because I really don't know what I could or would say to him. It surprised me that he left, yes, but not that much. It's almost like if I would have went downstairs right away or waited for him, what would I say? I was very very humiliated. I was disgusted with myself to have let things get as far as they did. I had no intention of having any sexual contact with him that night (I even told him that and he said it didn't matter. He accepted it).

    He didn't leave when I told him earlier in the night that we weren't going to have sex that night. He didn't leave when I jokingly asked, if we did see each other again, would he always come in his work clothes (he's a mechanic and it's much easier for him to come over straight from work, which is 15 min. away from me, than drive home, which is 45 minutes each way) and he seemed embarrassed when he replied 'yeah, probably.' He didn't leave when I opened the door in sweats. Something spooked him. Maybe I intimidated him.

    Maybe I feel I am to blame for what happened. I kissed him first. Maybe I led him on. I don't know. I just put my wants in front of what was the right thing to do. And I'm not saying what he did was ok, it wasn't. I'm just saying maybe he's not to take all the blame for the night ending the way it did.

    He is an immature, selfish, rude boy that is used to doing his own thing without any repercussions. And I am an older woman that wants to be treated well. Best thing for me is to let this sweetheart go. He did touch my heart in some way though. Maybe it is the bad boy thing, maybe it is his looks or demeanor. And if he does call or text me again, I really don't know what I'll do. That's another reason I deleted his number, it is much easier for me to end things and move on with NO contact. Even though it's hard as hell right now, I know the best thing he could do for me is leave me alone.

    Please comment. It helps me so much just knowing I have you, my friends, to vent to.
    Did he touch your heart, or your pride? Being a girl can be a lot of fun, and it can be really, really fun to be a girl who guys of all ages are into. You haven't had this kind of attention in a while, and it can be both flattering and intoxicating.

    On the other hand, are you feeling any element--any element at all--of "if I am good enough, he will change/if he doesn't change, it's because I'm not good enough"?

    No means no. You told him "no sexual contact" and he went there anyway. So what if you kissed him first? Kissing isn't permission for him to do something that you flat-out told him you didn't want to do. To top that off, he was bad at it and made you bleed...assuming that's all it was. Would you have felt ashamed if while you were kissing he clumsily bonked you in the head and gave you a bloody nose or fat lip? Then why do you feel embarrassed because he was clumsy while handling a far more delicate part of your body, and you bled?

    He didn't have enough respect for you to keep earlier dates. He didn't have enough respect for you to clean up before he came over to your house...even if it was super-casual, he could have at least changed into clean clothes he brought with him to work before he went to your place. He didn't have enough respect for you to take no for an answer.

    He must be damned good looking or exceptionally well hung for you to give him a second glance.

    MM
    "Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson

  14. #14
    kitkat620's Avatar
    kitkat620 is offline wishful thinker
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuffins View Post
    Did he touch your heart, or your pride? Being a girl can be a lot of fun, and it can be really, really fun to be a girl who guys of all ages are into. You haven't had this kind of attention in a while, and it can be both flattering and intoxicating.

    On the other hand, are you feeling any element--any element at all--of "if I am good enough, he will change/if he doesn't change, it's because I'm not good enough"?

    No means no. You told him "no sexual contact" and he went there anyway. So what if you kissed him first? Kissing isn't permission for him to do something that you flat-out told him you didn't want to do. To top that off, he was bad at it and made you bleed...assuming that's all it was. Would you have felt ashamed if while you were kissing he clumsily bonked you in the head and gave you a bloody nose or fat lip? Then why do you feel embarrassed because he was clumsy while handling a far more delicate part of your body, and you bled?

    He didn't have enough respect for you to keep earlier dates. He didn't have enough respect for you to clean up before he came over to your house...even if it was super-casual, he could have at least changed into clean clothes he brought with him to work before he went to your place. He didn't have enough respect for you to take no for an answer.

    He must be damned good looking or exceptionally well hung for you to give him a second glance.

    MM
    I think he touched both. You know when you meet someone and there's that spark? Almost like you were being heated from the inside out? That's what I felt. After my husband and I split I had felt that only once before and I was growing doubtful it would be anytime soon that I would have those feelings again. But I did. With him.

    But you are right. In every way. He could've/should've done all or at least some of things you have listed. And no, I probably wouldn't have felt as embarrassed or humiliated if we had bumped heads or whatnot. It got too personal, too fast and I wasn't ready for it.

    Maybe in retrospect, him leaving was the best thing that could have happened for me. Maybe I did think he would treat me differently if we actually met and talked. But obviously, that is not the case. And, if I ever do talk to him again and agree to seeing him again, I will only be bringing myself more heartache and anxiety.

    And true, all of the attention, flirtation, physical contact is intoxicating to me after all this time. It is nice to know someone desires me, even if it is only sexual.

    Oh well, live and learn. There are other fish in the sea, so they say. Hopefully the next one won't be another barracuda.

    P.S. He is cute to me. Not drop dead gorgeous. Very skinny. Tall. Dark hair, tattoos, goatee, ooh, I better stop...LOL
    But, as far as below the belt....average, at best!! ha
    "We must become the change we want to see."
    Mahatma Gandhi

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    1love's Avatar
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    Hi kitkat, so sorry you had to experience this situation. I have another perspective on this. What happened there may have been the universe stepping in to get you out of that snake pit. How timely for you to start bleeding... surely no coincidence. That guy is s snake in the grass that just wanted to do an older woman because that is one of the numbers on his bucket list.

    Don't get discouraged, there are good guys out there. You just have to be very discerning. Also, I don't know what dating site you are on, but if it's a free one, you are definitely going to run into some derelicts... a lot of them, actually. Been there, done that. Most of them just want sex.

    So, if that is the case, I would suggest trying one that you have to pay for. Just think, if a guy is serious about meeting someone of quality, they are probably going to pay for a dating service, not take the free route.

    I hope you are feeling better, and will gather your strength and courage, and move forward in a positive way.
    I've decided that the stuff falling through the cracks is confetti and I'm having a party! ~Betsy Cañas Garmon

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