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Thread: So now what?

  1. #1
    walkersam is offline Senior Member
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    So now what?

    OK guys, I have another problem now and I am not sure what to do about it. So I am getting back out and trying to date but haven't had any young guys really other than the 40 yr old that has asked me out. I went out with a perfectly nice man last night but he was 56 and looked older than that. I had alot of fun with him and he is taking me to the movies Sunday but I am not sure after dating younger, I can do this.

    I think I am now stuck on younger guys but where do I find them? I wasn't looking to get into this the first time but now I am thinking dude has lots of wrinkles and being almost 10 years older than me is kind of a turnoff now.

    Now what? And how do I tell somebody hey I think you are too old for me.

    Anybody else had this happen?

  2. #2
    Redhead's Avatar
    Redhead is offline Senior Member
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    Yes, I have had this happen.

    If I were you, I had better not go to the movies with him. It might feed his hopes.

    The rest I have written by PM.
    soul likes this.

  3. #3
    gorillagirl Guest
    i think you should give him a chance, at least as a friend.
    if you want to meet younger guys: college, gym, personal ads, right?
    soul, debralee and thatoneperson like this.

  4. #4
    soul is offline Senior Member
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    What redhead said and maybe PM Blue angel ?
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  5. #5
    degausser is offline Senior Member
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    I'm partial to soul's suggestion I see those sparks flying on the other thread!

    However, if you don't think you could actually end up liking Mr. 56, don't go to the movies with him. And I wouldn't go the "Hey I think you are too old for me" route....just think how you would feel if on your dating journey with younger men, one of them told you, "Hey that was fun and all, but I think you are too old for me." It's a bit rude, and most importantly....it's not true. He isn't "too old" for you; your preferences have changed. And there's nothing wrong with that. But that would be like me telling a man, "Listen, I had a wonderful time, but I think you're too blonde for me." It isn't his shortcoming that he's blonde, I just prefer men with dark hair. So why even mention it? If you aren't attracted to him, let him know you just want to be friends. And don't go to the movies with him, unless he knows that's how you feel.

    In regards to the preference change, I think it's perfectly natural. Dating is a learning experience, and each relationship tells us a little more about what we like or don't like, want or don't want.
    soul likes this.

  6. #6
    Blue-Angel75's Avatar
    Blue-Angel75 is offline Blue Angel
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    Stick to what makes you happy and follow that path.


    I know for me, I could never ever be or go with anybody who is my age or younger, it just won't work.
    Now give me mid to late 40s and we got game going on for sure!!!



    Blue Angel
    "Mimic what successful people are doing, copy it, practice it, costumize it so that it suits you, I promise you this: you will not fail!"
    "If you don't create an opportunity, you will never experience failure--therefore never really experience successes" Both by me!

    If you flirt with me, I may just flirt right back at ya!

  7. #7
    kitkat620's Avatar
    kitkat620 is offline wishful thinker
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    I think that is one of my problems too. My attraction to younger guys. Now if we could just find an old coot that looks 10 or maybe even 20 years younger.....lol

    Seriously, though, there are some older men that look great and take care of themselves. But, if you are just not attracted to them, I wouldn't make the effort.

    But, if, like you said, you did have a good time with this guy, then maybe give him another chance. But I also agree that you don't want to get his hopes (or anything else for that matter) up.

    I would suggest online dating if I had great experiences with it, but I didn't. Lot's of good looking young men, but the ones I've encountered are only looking for sex.

    If you figure it out, let me know please.
    "We must become the change we want to see."
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  8. #8
    walkersam is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by degausser View Post
    I'm partial to soul's suggestion I see those sparks flying on the other thread!

    However, if you don't think you could actually end up liking Mr. 56, don't go to the movies with him. And I wouldn't go the "Hey I think you are too old for me" route....just think how you would feel if on your dating journey with younger men, one of them told you, "Hey that was fun and all, but I think you are too old for me." It's a bit rude, and most importantly....it's not true. He isn't "too old" for you; your preferences have changed. And there's nothing wrong with that. But that would be like me telling a man, "Listen, I had a wonderful time, but I think you're too blonde for me." It isn't his shortcoming that he's blonde, I just prefer men with dark hair. So why even mention it? If you aren't attracted to him, let him know you just want to be friends. And don't go to the movies with him, unless he knows that's how you feel.

    In regards to the preference change, I think it's perfectly natural. Dating is a learning experience, and each relationship tells us a little more about what we like or don't like, want or don't want.
    I don't know, Blue angel didn't volunteer this time lol

    I do think my preferences have changed and some of that may be from being married to somebody that much older than me so maybe I am not comfortable with it anymore?

    My taste tends to lean more toward dark hair and dark eyes which is one of the things that drew me to my ym since he was native american.

    I am glad all of you understand how I feel.

    Kit kat, I am doing online dating and get some guys my age. I went out with one that was 40 and hispanic but there wasn't much chance cause he hated it here and was moving soon. This guy in particular had an old photo of him up and if he had posted a recent one, I wouldn't have went out with him at all.

  9. #9
    Blue-Angel75's Avatar
    Blue-Angel75 is offline Blue Angel
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    Quote Originally Posted by walkersam View Post
    I don't know, Blue angel didn't volunteer this time lol

    .


    I did ask in the other thread, what exactly you had in mind to do if I lived closer:

    -Cut the grass?
    -Wash the cars?
    -pass the vacuum?


    You mentioned that if I lived closer we would do stuff....but you never said what sweety?

    Blue Angel
    Redhead likes this.
    "Mimic what successful people are doing, copy it, practice it, costumize it so that it suits you, I promise you this: you will not fail!"
    "If you don't create an opportunity, you will never experience failure--therefore never really experience successes" Both by me!

    If you flirt with me, I may just flirt right back at ya!

  10. #10
    Blue-Angel75's Avatar
    Blue-Angel75 is offline Blue Angel
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    Quote Originally Posted by soul View Post
    What redhead said and maybe PM Blue angel ?


    FUNNY GIRL!!! you like to stir the pot hu?
    DaphneDescends likes this.
    "Mimic what successful people are doing, copy it, practice it, costumize it so that it suits you, I promise you this: you will not fail!"
    "If you don't create an opportunity, you will never experience failure--therefore never really experience successes" Both by me!

    If you flirt with me, I may just flirt right back at ya!

  11. #11
    Redhead's Avatar
    Redhead is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue-Angel75 View Post
    I did ask in the other thread, what exactly you had in mind to do if I lived closer:

    -Cut the grass?
    -Wash the cars?
    -pass the vacuum?


    You mentioned that if I lived closer we would do stuff....but you never said what sweety?

    Blue Angel
    You are so funny. I am almost choking.

  12. #12
    Redhead's Avatar
    Redhead is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by walkersam View Post

    I do think my preferences have changed and some of that may be from being married to somebody that much older than me so maybe I am not comfortable with it anymore?

    My taste tends to lean more toward dark hair and dark eyes which is one of the things that drew me to my ym since he was native american.

    .....
    Kit kat, I am doing online dating and get some guys my age. I went out with one that was 40 and hispanic but there wasn't much chance cause he hated it here and was moving soon. This guy in particular had an old photo of him up and if he had posted a recent one, I wouldn't have went out with him at all.
    I am all with you on dark hair and dark eyes. That is my soft spot, too, but on a more serious note - I am sure if you met a guy who had the right amount of life energy, you couldn't give a f. for his hair color.
    Don't analyze why you are not into older guys. You just are not. Full stop. Accept it. Don't justify your preferences by explaining that after all you also see guys closer to your age.
    We all have preferences in every field of life. When you like the color green more than the color pink, you also don't lie down on the Freudian couch and meditate about why you care less for pink. You don't think "is it because when I was little and my mother wanted to get me ready for bed she always washed me with that pink wash cloth."
    MissMuffins, soul and debralee like this.

  13. #13
    laurad121 is offline Senior Member
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    I also wouldn't go on another date with that guy and just tell him the chemistry isn't there for you beyond friends. Have you looked at meetup.com to see if there are any meet up groups for older women and younger men? That way you could go to events where men that are on the same page as you would be there and receptive to you. Good luck!

  14. #14
    Redhead's Avatar
    Redhead is offline Senior Member
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    @Laurad
    That is a great idea of you to suggest a meetup group.

  15. #15
    MissMuffins's Avatar
    MissMuffins is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redhead View Post
    I am all with you on dark hair and dark eyes. That is my soft spot, too, but on a more serious note - I am sure if you met a guy who had the right amount of life energy, you couldn't give a f. for his hair color.
    Don't analyze why you are not into older guys. You just are not. Full stop. Accept it. Don't justify your preferences by explaining that after all you also see guys closer to your age.
    We all have preferences in every field of life. When you like the color green more than the color pink, you also don't lie down on the Freudian couch and meditate about why you care less for pink. You don't think "is it because when I was little and my mother wanted to get me ready for bed she always washed me with that pink wash cloth."
    LOL

    Redhead, if I could "double like" a post, I would!
    "Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson

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