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Thread: Statistics?

  1. #1
    whoahnellie is offline Member
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    Statistics?

    Hey all... does anyone know if there are there statistics anywhere on this forum related to the percentage of how many OWYM relationships work out?

  2. #2
    whiterose's Avatar
    whiterose is offline Administrator
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    If you're asking whether we keep statistics on the percentage of our membership who are in successful relationships, then no, we don't keep any data. Is that what you were asking?

  3. #3
    whoahnellie is offline Member
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    Hi Whiterose. No I was just asking in general if there has been anything "published" about stats. I'm guessing its low and if I heard from research it is very low I might give up on the realtionship now.

  4. #4
    NY10's Avatar
    NY10 is offline Senior Member
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    I wouldn't based MY relationship on statistics. Either you like the person or not, you can't base your feelings on a test given to other people. Everyone is different, every relationship is different. If you are happy and care about your guy then why do you needs stats to compare your relationship to?

    If AGR make it it's because the people put in the work and build a relationship, if it fails it's because it fails, that's actually true for ALL relationships not just AGR.

  5. #5
    Angel's Avatar
    Angel is offline Anger Thrives In A Fool
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    75% of all relationships fail, in general. I have no clue what AGR statistics are.

    I view it as, would you look up the relationship success statistics of a brown eyed person vs. a blue eyed? Unless there are extenuating issues related to the person's age (wants children, is ill, etc) the age difference is no more insurmountable than most obstacles a couple faces.

    Only one relationship "works out" for each of us. On a side note, I take issue with that idea that if a relationship ends it was a failure (not directed at you, but the notion about what relationships constitute success). Some relationships run their course and having served its purpose no longer works for us. We close that chapter in the book of our life. It is valuable and without it you miss part of that person's story, so, I don't see the failure in that.

    So, if an ended relationship equates to failure than about 99% to 100% of every person's romantic relationships, AGR or not, will "fail". Why throw away anyone that is healthy for you when your odds are 1%, at best, to begin with?

    (I've been with my guy for 9 years. We are 27/41. I know several folks that dwarf our years together here.)
    Last edited by Angel; 05-13-2014 at 02:04 PM.
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  6. #6
    soul is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by whoahnellie View Post
    Hi Whiterose. No I was just asking in general if there has been anything "published" about stats. I'm guessing its low and if I heard from research it is very low I might give up on the realtionship now.


    You know that phrase 'Gotta be in it to win it' , what if the guy you're with is the ONE. What you're thinking is much like someone with a lottery ticket with already half the numbers throwing it away because they don't think they'll win.
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  7. #7
    Mebel's Avatar
    Mebel is offline OWYM AG 29 yrs
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    Quote Originally Posted by whoahnellie View Post
    Hey all... does anyone know if there are there statistics anywhere on this forum related to the percentage of how many OWYM relationships work out?
    Hi, I am 56 yrs and the love of my life is 27, we are in this fantastic OWYM relationship since 2008. Ofcourse, did I searched too for more ag-examples. In 2010 I joined AL because my YM said that it would/ could give me the best view.
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  8. #8
    whoahnellie is offline Member
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    I was primarily curious and wondering if most dont work out.. but also if I knew that statistically I would be more prone to end the relationship now.. not only because of that but because of other issues between he and I.

  9. #9
    degausser is offline Senior Member
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    I don't see how anyone could come up with a statistic on that. Presumably you would consider any relationship that ended (except for death) "not working out." But, because your focus is the age difference, you would only be looking at age-gap relationships that ended (except for death) for reasons solely related to the age difference. It couldn't be any issue that might also arise out of a non-age gap relationship, because it would be impossible to know if the relationship ended because of the age difference or because of other incompatibility (for instance: different maturity levels, different places in life, differences about having children, differences in retirement plans, etc. - would have to be ruled out, because they could occur in any relationship). So you would be left at looking at relationships where the parties broke up solely because they were uncomfortable with each other's ages.

    Statistics are silly.

    You obviously aren't invested in this guy or hopeful about the outcome, and that's fine. Feel free to end it. But don't point to statistics as a way out, because if this were a relationship worth working on, you wouldn't care about a bunch of meaningless numbers.
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  10. #10
    Slow Worm's Avatar
    Slow Worm is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by whoahnellie View Post
    Hey all... does anyone know if there are there statistics anywhere on this forum related to the percentage of how many OWYM relationships work out?
    It would be possible to obtain data concerning marriages, and perhaps for cohabiting households, but I cannot find any with a quick enquiry. It is possible that no-one has complied any and so it would be necessary to go back to the raw data from censuses, etc. Anyone with access to a suitable database and processing software could do it.

    The parameters would have to be that a minumum age difference was chosen to define an age gap large enough to be counted (which could be open to debate) and that a divorce or the end of a cohabition (i.e. the parties ceasing to have the same address) was regarded as defining relationship failure.

    It would probably be impractical to try to measure other relationships due to the difficulty of defining the term 'relationship'.

    SW
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  11. #11
    Slow Worm's Avatar
    Slow Worm is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slow Worm View Post
    I cannot find any with a quick enquiry.
    I have now: http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/popula...nd-divorce.pdf

    It is a report from the UK Office of National Statistics (the source I am most familiar with and can search quickly). It concludes, among other things, that there is no apparent relationship between age differences between spouses and the likelihood of divorce.

    It also notes a big increase in OWYM marriages since 1963. However it does not use a minimum age gap criterion, so the category 'wife older than husband' includes marriages where she is only 1 year older than him (and since age is rounded to whole years that can in fact sometimes mean only a few days older) which makes this data of limited validity.

    SW
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  12. #12
    gorillagirl Guest

    divorce in the USA

    Divorce in America [infographic]


    50% of all marriages in the USA end in divorce.

  13. #13
    cs04so is offline Neophyte
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    define "successful" relationship. it's impossible. most people's idea that two people should be together forever is unrealistic anyways that's based on propaganda anyways.

  14. #14
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Quote Originally Posted by whoahnellie View Post
    I was primarily curious and wondering if most dont work out.. but also if I knew that statistically I would be more prone to end the relationship now.. not only because of that but because of other issues between he and I.
    My own definition of love is when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.
    That may sound too negative, but honestly, this is from the perspective of an age-gap, interracial, intercultural, international relationship.

    If the "other issues" are getting to be too much of a problem, and you feel that you should break up, do so.

    I have been in a relationship with my husband for 10 years, and the age-gap issue has never been an issue. The rest has... big time. But we are still together because we love each other, and because we were not able to break up the few times we tried.
    christina923 likes this.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  15. #15
    whoahnellie is offline Member
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    Thanks slow worm and everyone.. good stuff to ponder thanks

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