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Thread: no longer a ym! whaa!

  1. #1
    turk is offline Neophyte
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    no longer a ym! whaa!

    Okay, so after 5 years since we first met, its finally over. We had some good times, but I just couldn't continue to be the one making most of the sacrifices.

    So, I moved back to my hometown, and trying to adjust to my new life without someone at my side. 3 months later, I'm starting to realize I am not so appealing at 32. I wonder how long it will take me to build my life back up and feel like I am dateable again. When i do decide to date I hope to find someone my age. At least within a decade. Might even chase after something a lil younger than myself. No more 17 year gaps though, thats for sure. Well, never say never, but its highly unlikely. She would have to be perfect for me in every other way. Not sure i could choose not to fall in love with someone that fits that description.

  2. #2
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Sorry that your relationship did not work. It always feels like there is a void when one ends a relationship and it takes some time to heal.

    Best wishes in your next relationship. You are at a good age to settle down if that is what you want.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  3. #3
    fiorinda's Avatar
    fiorinda is offline Senior Member
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    Sorry to hear your relationship ended. I hope you can move forward as a single man, and eventually meet the right person for you, regardless of their age. Can I ask you though to please not refer to women as 'things'.
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    NY10's Avatar
    NY10 is offline Senior Member
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    I'm sorry to hear about the end of your relationship. It's never an easy thing to loose someone we care about. Give yourself time to heal and I am sure someone amazing is going to come along and love and appreciate you.

  5. #5
    turk is offline Neophyte
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    Quote Originally Posted by fiorinda View Post
    Sorry to hear your relationship ended. I hope you can move forward as a single man, and eventually meet the right person for you, regardless of their age. Can I ask you though to please not refer to women as 'things'.
    Thanks for your condolences everyone.

    I had to reread my post because I had no idea what you were talking about. Sorry if I offended you but I am comfortable with the language I use. If you were offended then you wanted to interpret it that way. I simply meant someone. You remind me of my friend's girlfriend who snaps at me when i call her baby an "it." Yes, I know the gender of the baby, but sometimes it just comes out way. I guess I should be more careful with my pronouns but why is it necessary to chastise me? I guess it bothers me because I feel patronized, which is probably not your intention just like it wasn't my intention to offend you.

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    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    I also had to re-read your post to see where you wrote "thing" that one time. The important thing Turk is that you feel that a future lies ahead of you, and that bad things are in the past.

    Do you feel that this experience has given you the tools so next time you will be able to avoid being blinded?
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

  7. #7
    fiorinda's Avatar
    fiorinda is offline Senior Member
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    Morning! It was hardly a chastisement, I just asked politely that you not do it. Feel free to continue if you want. If you don't understand how or why a woman would be offended by someone referring to other women as things then there's probably little point in me trying to explain it, particularly in text on my phone at 7am (:/). I have no idea of the thought process that lies behind it, only the words on the 'page'. I can get your friend's displeasure too. Babies are people. We don't refer to adults as 'it' as that implies a thing, not a person.
    But it's your mouth/keyboard, you can of course say what you please.
    Welcome anyway.
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  8. #8
    fiorinda's Avatar
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    Oh, and my apologies if you felt patronised. That certainly wasn't my intention. Like I said, just a simple request for you not to use language I find offensive. You have no obligation to mind me at all.
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  9. #9
    turk is offline Neophyte
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    Quote Originally Posted by SheLikesKitties View Post
    I also had to re-read your post to see where you wrote "thing" that one time. The important thing Turk is that you feel that a future lies ahead of you, and that bad things are in the past.

    Do you feel that this experience has given you the tools so next time you will be able to avoid being blinded?
    I feel that way, but I have no idea if that's true. I did allow myself to overlook too many things that should not have been overlooked. I don't want to settle so I am staying away from dating for the rest of the year at least. Don't want to slip into something while I am vulnerable. I definitely want to find a girl that is actually right for me. I just don't know how long that will take. Hopefully, I have the strengh to hold out for someone I don't have to overlook anything to be with.

  10. #10
    turk is offline Neophyte
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    Quote Originally Posted by fiorinda View Post
    Oh, and my apologies if you felt patronised. That certainly wasn't my intention. Like I said, just a simple request for you not to use language I find offensive. You have no obligation to mind me at all.
    I didn't mean to say thing, but if i had i don't understand why you would be offended because i wasn't talking to you. I also wasn't speaking to women in general. I was referring to potential objects of my infatuation whom i hope become an object of my love and affection. So, when i call potential gf my sweet thang, you really have no reason to be offended because it has nothing to do with you. Does that mean i view women as mere objects, of course not. So, although i won't censor myself to your standards i will consider the pronouns i use when talking to you specifically. But, i will need a list of the pronouns you find offensive that may not be obvious. I once had someone on this site years ago tell me they were offended when i used the word chic. I thought that was odd one to be offended by too.

  11. #11
    fiorinda's Avatar
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    Don't bother yourself. I can't be bothered to explain.
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  12. #12
    gorillagirl Guest
    turk,
    women are not things, objects of affection, dolls, chicks, etc.-
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  13. #13
    turk is offline Neophyte
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    Quote Originally Posted by gorillagirl View Post
    turk,
    women are not things, objects of affection, dolls, chicks, etc.-
    Women in general are not things in the sense that you are using it. Its all about context. If i don't mean it in an offensive way then why be word nazis about it. No offense to any nazis out there, its an expression. Words evolve and take on new meanings which is why context is important. Maybe chick started out as an offensive word for women, i don't know. Most people don't even know why that became a synonym for a young woman but it has.

    chick
    CHik/Submit
    noun
    1.
    a young bird, especially one newly hatched.
    2.
    informal
    a young woman.

    Should i be offended when a woman calls me a "dude" i am not a horse!

    I can see why this forum is dying. You guys should just start a facebook group or something. Crap, did i says guys i meant gals, or women, or whatever pronoun that you feel comfortable with.

  14. #14
    fiorinda's Avatar
    fiorinda is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by turk View Post
    I can see why this forum is dying. You guys should just start a facebook group or something. Crap, did i says guys i meant gals, or women, or whatever pronoun that you feel comfortable with.
    We already have, where we respect one another's points of view.
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  15. #15
    gorillagirl Guest
    @fiorinda. bwahahahahahahaha! brilliant.
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