Falling to Pieces....

Yesterday I had to come to a decision to put one of my dogs to sleep. Its been a decision thats been luming about me for awhile, but I have to say, Ive been selfish is wanting to keep her, Mollie, around as long as possible.

Shes a pure bred rottweilor, who my ex-husband bought for me and my kids for Christmas in 1994. She was 8 weeks old and he put a huge red ribbon around her head....She was just beautiful. Shes had a full loving life. Shes the only dog I know that has not only raised her own puppies but also kittens and piglets! Shes taken a back seat to my labs over the years. The labs are so much more demanding of our attention, but shes just always been there. Shes the real matriarch of our little family.

Shes young I know to be put down but the last couple years, shes had mini-maul seizures, urinary tract infections, a tumor removed (major surgery there) and now, though happy and content, she has lost control of her hind legs. It keeps getting worse, where I used to encourage her to walk, I now have to carry a 90 pound dog up and down my stairs to get her out to do her buisness...half the time now shes ends up sitting in it. The other night she actually had an accident in the house...she just couldnt get up or have the energy to bark for me. She slipped and fell the other morning and it shook me up so bad I cried for her.

I know this is best for her. She cant be too happy, shes just knows better. Shes knows its wrong to have accidents in the house...but does she know I forgive her. So we are going to pamper her this last weekend, me ex husband is coming over and his parents...my son is coming to say good bye. Tuesday she has an appointment with her vet who loves her too. Im going to have her cremated and her ashes returned to me...

In the mean time, Im at work with silent tears streaming down my face...

[greeneyedgirl]

oh how heart-breaking.
she knows you forgive her gal, she see's it in your face and hears it in your voice and it's confirmed by your actions....she knows.

big hugs for you.

Tracy

[PinkCat]

I have tears for you and your doggie...

You are definitely doing the right thing, heartbreaking as it is. My thoughts are with you.

Oh, I am SO sorry, Michele. ((((((HUGS))))))) I know just how heartbreaking this can be and the grieving process takes time, both before doing it and after. I'm terribly sorry for you and your extended family who loves her.

It's amazing to me how deeply these animals are taken into our hearts. But they are. They are family.

I hope your last weekend with her is a good one full of love and rememberances of the great times you've had together. Stay strong.

~phos

Thank you ... I just cant stop the tears just yet...Im gonna post some pictures of her that are truly wonderful....cuddling with her kids, her cats and her kittens...as I think of those moments Im smiling as I cry.

[tinydancer]

Michelle..........My heart goes out to you.
I had a German Shepherd "Annie", and had to have a hip replacement done on her when she was very young (the humane society and I closed down the puppy mill that she came from, but that's another story) Anyway, she rejected the replacements and I, selfishly, couldn't let her go.........I carried that dog, literly, for several years. I finally put her down when she was 8. I still, 15 years later, think about her from time to time but I know that I finally did do the right thing.
Now I have my "Luka" another German Shepherd, he is 2 and I pray that his hips stay intact for a long time. Bigger dogs, as you probably know, are prone to hip dysplasia
God bless you...........you are doing the right thing too and know that she knows it too.
I think they kind of let us know when they have had enough and for her to feel bad about her "accidents" is a real good sign that she does.
Blessings, Tinydancer

[Katrina]

Awww, sweetie, I know what you are going through. It is such a hard thing to do. But, you are doing the most loving thing for her that anyone possibly could do. You are relieving her from her misery. And, your decision was done completely out of love for her and wanting what is best for her.

I wish I could be there to give you a big hug. It just breaks my heart to think of what you are going through. I'm glad for you though that you have the time to say goodbye to her. In both instances in which I euthanized a couple of my pets (a cat and a dog), it happened very suddenly.

So, I hope that the time together this weekend goes by slowly to give you this time with each other. And, I hope that on Tuesday you are surrounded with people who will be able to be there for you.

((((( hugs )))))

[Bob's babydoll]

Michele, I'm so sorry for your loss. It is always so difficult to make the agonizing decision to have a beloved pet be put to sleep. In your heart you know it's the right thing to do and you know your pet is no longer suffering, but there is still a huge hole.. an aching in your heart. I hope in time your heart will be able to smile again.

[Science Goddess]

Michele ~

I'm sorry to hear that you had to make this decision but I'm proud of you for being able to do so. It is a heart-wrenching choice but one that you can only make from love.

I'm crying with you. I've been there. My pitbull, my best friend, that I had for 10 years died of liver failure. I was just getting to the point of having to make this choice when she passed away at home. But whether or not to put her to sleep was a decision considered daily for a couple of months.

Last year, my kitty had kidney failure. I had to put her to sleep because she finally lost the use of her hind legs and lost so much weight it seems that it hurt to touch her at all. Sometimes I regret waiting as long as I did to put her to sleep because she was really unhappy those last few days.

Michele, you are lucky to have had this wonderful friend in your life and she is lucky to have had you there to care for her and love her. You will always have memories and pictures of your time with her. Try to feel blessed that God brought her into your life and brought you into her life.

**big hugg**

SG

Thank you everyone for your thoughts.....

Im actually hanging in there today. Last night I chapharoned the school Halloween dance which I discovered half way in Id gotten my mind completely off her. Today we have been trying to do business as usual only paying her more mind. My son got her to walk down our driveway and back...and proceeded to tell me that we didnt need to do this. Problem is, tomorrow she might not make it out the door. I keep wondering what the house is going to be like without her... But yes, I know this is for the best, its time and I dont want her to suffer. Shes been actually pretty relaxed the last couple days other then a couple accidents. Kylie was changing out her soccer shoes today and set them on her hind end, and she just sat there like shes always does...happy to be of help! haha

Anyway, thanks for your warm wishes...and as soon as I can figure out how, Ill post some pictures of her.

Mollie and our last batch of Kittens....all given to wonderful homes, we even came up one short.

[IMG][/IMG]


Mollie and Keico sleeping on the couch

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Michele...

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I, too, had to go through this a few years ago. I think it was in 01 or so...the week of Thanksgiving...my companion of 14 years, a yellow lab named Taffy...was deteriorating. Badly...

The day before Thanksgiving...she could hardly walk. In fact, she didn't. She pulled herself only a few feet and didn't eat anything all day. I went from being a 20 something year old, to a four year old boy crying...pleading with her to get up and eat...

She couldn't. I made the decision that night, to put her to sleep...so that she could be at rest. It was the final gift I could give her...an eternity in life free of pain and suffering. I'm glad there was a place open that late on the night before Thanksgiving...

After that? She was in a better place, across the Rainbow Bridge...where, even to this day...I know she's waiting for me...when I get called home.

I know it's a hard as hell think to do, Michele...*hugs* You have to do, what you know is best to do, in your heart.

[freespirit]

My heart is with you darlin it is the hardest thing to do but you are doing it out of love for her, to give her some peace and freedom from pain. Ten years ago I had the same decision with my beautiful Sara my long haired german shepherd. we had such a life together and she was such a peaceful dignified dog...but she had hip dysplasia and the steroids that she was on started to not work, and she also lost control of herself.
One day, four days after my son was born i came out and found her lying in excretement in the cold and we looked at each other...god 10 years later I can still feel that look...like help me.....so we did exactly what you are doing...called the vet, booked it in, spent the last days with her...
we almost didn't let the vet in, my daughter and I held her while they gave her the needle and she was gone...but so peacefully, so quietly...with dignity. We had the most beuatiful passing over ceremony, buried her with her bowl, her blanket and food, and as we read a poem and opened the champagne at the grave a cloud passed over the moon and we said...there she goes. Unconditional love is a beautiful thing....I have learnt so much from the dogs in my life...it took me years to get another one...but he was his own special person too....as is the crazy ****zu we have now...

[Patricia]

Oh, I am so sorry, Michele.

I know that I am going to have to go through that with my kitty, Joey, someday unless he outlives me. I can't imagine how hard it will be.

Everybody's stories on your post are making me cry. It is amazing how strong interspecies love can be.

I am so sorry.