HELP! Work relationship problems!!!!

[Just MiMi]

I've returned to my site and was moved to a secure site. This job requires computer skills. Previously, I was here and the woman who was in charge refused to train me.

Now, there is a man who is crazy. He stated I was a f-ing idiot. He said most problems in the world are because of women and Christians. I just want to be trained on the program. Computer skills are my weakest area. I walked off the site two days ago he became so verbally abusive. The Iraqi linguist also filed a complaint.

Today we had four Iraqis who needed to be entered into the system. I'm not familiar with it yet and am intimidated by the program. He said he was leaving and I would need to figure it out. I asked why can't you help me in a manner that I can learn? He began screaming. I walked out and said that he was not going to put this amount of presure on me.

I went to my supervisor and he said the problem was I lack millitary background. I am the only woman with my company at this site. They really don't want me here; but I can't go back to my job with the prison. There is a hiring freeze.

I have a very high IQ; but my computer skills are limited. Then that stupid hour glass that turns forever.......causing me heart palpations.

This system is complex and I'm becoming ill from the abuse. I went in hospital with horrible pain in December all because of this location. There is no place else for me to work.

Thanks for any suggestions and blessings to all.

[legallyblonde]

What is the hourglass? And are you in country? With Muslim culture, they should not be treating you, as a woman, so disrespectfully. I wonder if they are prejudiced against Americans? I was in a similar situation, no abuse from the boss, but a broken program and I could not fix it. I got let go because of *need of training issues.* Laugh out loud. They knew when they hired me that they'd have to train me.

I decided in retrospect that I should have left the very day I realized that half of my job was undoable. I got money, sure. But I also got a very angry boss who humiliated me to everyone, refused to give me a recommendation, even while he recognized the conditions were not my fault, but the fault of his last VP, who did not do anything except surf the web for six months before she left! I was told later by people in the same industry that the guy had fired a ton of people and most of them left with damaged reputations. Long after it was all over, I realized that the guy was likely scared to death of having that computer program fixed, as the clients would find out where on earth they stood. He refused to give me time to do downloads that might have fixed things! I was hired as an Admin assist to replace a VP, which I think says it all.

About your job I dunno. I would look for another job right away, and while doing that, get to the bottom of why this man does not want to train you. If you know what his objection to you is, then maybe you can deal with it. I think I would go online and see if there is any supporting documentation for the software, or if it's proprietary. If you can teach youself, you give yourself a better chance of keeping your job.

PS go to http://www.bullyonline.org to see if this fella fits a serial bully profile!

[truckman]

Let me start this by saying I've been in the IT (computer) field at various levels from tech to Sr. management over the past, oh, 20+ years.

The ability to use a particular piece of software does not correlate to intelligence.

A lot of software is written in a way that makes sense to the programmers who created it, but is barely functional when it's implemented in the field. Happens every day, all the time, so don't feel bad about yourself because of this.

As far as advice on how to handle the real issue, the people issue, I'm not sure how much I could help you because you have explained in the past your work environment is nothing like what is typical of corporate America, which is where all my experience to draw on would come from.

Traditionally, going over the boss' head to his boss is a good start. It raises the issue to a level where there may be enough decision making ability to resolve it in some way, but the other (and often more important) thing about doing so is you're keeping the problem "in the family", i.e. giving senior management the opportunity to fix it without HR strangling and documenting the issue. Most true senior managers (by action, not title) would appreciate this even if you didn't point it out.

But again, I know your company doesn't work like what I'm used to, so I don't want to steer you in a poor direction...

Originally Posted by Just MiMi

I've returned to my site and was moved to a secure site. This job requires computer skills. Previously, I was here and the woman who was in charge refused to train me.

Now, there is a man who is crazy. He stated I was a f-ing idiot. He said most problems in the world are because of women and Christians. I just want to be trained on the program. Computer skills are my weakest area. I walked off the site two days ago he became so verbally abusive. The Iraqi linguist also filed a complaint.

Today we had four Iraqis who needed to be entered into the system. I'm not familiar with it yet and am intimidated by the program. He said he was leaving and I would need to figure it out. I asked why can't you help me in a manner that I can learn? He began screaming. I walked out and said that he was not going to put this amount of presure on me.

I went to my supervisor and he said the problem was I lack millitary background. I am the only woman with my company at this site. They really don't want me here; but I can't go back to my job with the prison. There is a hiring freeze.

I have a very high IQ; but my computer skills are limited. Then that stupid hour glass that turns forever.......causing me heart palpations.

This system is complex and I'm becoming ill from the abuse. I went in hospital with horrible pain in December all because of this location. There is no place else for me to work.

Thanks for any suggestions and blessings to all.

[grumpysgirl]

Have you asked to be trained in that field at all? Maybe also look up free comp learning programs online as well!!

keeping fingers crossed

[Just MiMi]

I posted a nice thank you last evening and we lost generator power! One of the lovely things that come with Iraq.

There have been two soldiers take this man to task for the manner he speaks to me. Yesterday, he said I "looked like I had a Sugar Daddy." I told him I wasn't to receptive to that in my youth and if I had one now he would be on oxygen. This man is a nut case and I have learned the program.

I've met some strange people over here for sure. Today we had a prison riot.

The Iraqis want to be in control; but they want the US to pay for every day expenses like shampoo, toothpaste etc....Where is Bob Barker when I need him!

Blessings!

[kittylane]

I hope that I do not sound like I am putting the military down here. As you know I am/was a army wife.

That is just about the biggest line of crap I have ever heard. They have an issue with you being there, not because of you the person. But because of their own character defects.

Look, you are getting intimidated and it may look like they want you to fail.

Don't. What is their agenda? The purpose of you being there is to do a job. Make sure that the people who need to know and told that you are not being trained. In the military you do not go over the head of your department. It is a real NO NO, That is just how it is.

You are a danger to them because you CAN go over their heads.

Regarding this man who ever he is........Pray for him, he is nuts.

Use your power because you a civilian.

[Just MiMi]

Perhaps, I didn't make it clear that my problem is with a fellow civilian. In my five years in Iraq, I have never had anything but kind treatment from the military. They have been my inspiration for remaining here.

Thank you for all the suggestions. This "gentleman" is putting in for Afghanistan and I pray he gets the position!

Blessings,
MiMi

[Katrina]

Mimi, is he American? Does he work for the same company as you do?

[Just MiMi]

Hi Katrina,

Yes, he is American and works for my company. I went to our Site Manager and Security Site Manager. They know he is in the wrong. However the "good ol boy" system is alive and well.

What is most distressing is some of our young people's view of the elderly. This guy said I had no business over here I was "too old" and should have already made arrangements.

I've entered the work place late in life as I was a stay at home wife and Mom. I don't regret my decision; but I've got some work ahead of me.

Marriage ,for me, wasn't rewarding. It is interesting looking back. I wouldn't accept a dinner date with my ex-husband now!

Blessings,
MiMi

[Just MiMi]

This guy just wouldn't stop. I can't post most of what he said as it is racist, vulgar, & stupid.

He went to managment stating he thought I was on some sort of drugs that caused me problems driving. I was called in to the Site Security Manager's Office.

I decided to take a calm approach and stated I realized I could be asked to submit to a drug test at any time and was willing. I then added when this comes back normal, will you deal with this young man? I then produced documentation of every conversation. Two other men had talked with him about how he treated me. He was written up and if any other incident occurs, he is fired.

It is true," a soft answer does turn away wrath." They moved him to another department.

[Jody<3]

Oh my gosh..thats wonderful. I would imagine he will carry his same crappy attitude to his new site, and I bet you he is fired within a few months. What a horrible person, seriously.

I couldn't respond when you first posted because I seriously had no advice, the situation sounded completely out of line to me and like no-one was listening to you.

Thank goodness you were able to stay calm, think it through, and wait for the right time to, as you said, softly state your case.

Good for you!

[gorillagirl]

Why don't you just come back the states?

[1love]

Thank goodness, Mimi!!! I am so happy for you.

[kittylane]

He sounds really unstable and that is really scary. It has an issue with you please watch your back. The stuff he has done is very off the wall, just not a nasty person. Not to sound paranoid but I think I would be a little with a person like that.

You said he wants to go to an area of active war. That is sick, our soldiers are trained and it their job, but a civilian would do more harm to everyone around him. He sounds like a full time job dealing with him.

I am very happy that is better for you. But I would be super diligent to not allowing him in any factor of my life.

God bless!

[Just MiMi]

GG I wish I could come back to the States. There are no jobs. The State job I held has been eliminated. They were going to build another prison; but that isn't going to happen. I have three children out of work who need help.

You are correct that this young man is very unstable. The quality of people I work with isn't the same. When I first arrived, I worked along with Iraqi Survey Group. This was an incredible group of professional people. Then I was re-located with a Special Forces Camp. They treated me like royality. I'm with the Bubbas and wanna be's now. Everyone has either gone home or to Afghanistan. The wages are low now in Iraq. The only benefit is no taxes and interaction with the Iraqi people. I've come to really love and appreciate them.