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Thread: The golden oasis of marriage

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    Dwc's Avatar
    Dwc
    Dwc is offline OWYM AG 16YRS
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    The golden oasis of marriage

    I know in this forum many of us has offered countless advice to one another and to others who has ventured here especially regarding relationships and marriages. Sometimes opinions formed from these experiences can skew our take on life to not believe in love, while others discovered the otherwise. The truth of love really doesn't change, people do: its either they become more enlightened about it or more disillusioned. I would think I say it as a matter of factly fashion, in honesty, not with the purpose to please or offend anyone.

    There is this article (link BELOW) that I found it so absolutely and completely true that it is impossible not to share. While its essence may be drawn from the context of a belief that may not be shared in same faith for some of you here (yes, I'm a Christian), the point really is not about that, but what the truth of its content that is to benefit anyone who wants to know that truth about "happily ever after". I don't expect any response, but I'll say thanks for giving it a read.

    Personally, I can only say I've witnessed several extraordinary changes in people's lives including myself from what we've learnt from the principles about marriage through our biblical teachings. Of course there are also many more who failed. Being taught is one thing, willing to apply is another. What this article wrote about marriage is simple but amazingly true, I hope anyone can benefit from it and taste the beauty that your unions can bring. Enjoy

    3 things I wish I knew before we got married.

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    1love's Avatar
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    The point I like the most, is the one about how to be a good parent. I absolutely believe that a strong marriage provides stability for a child. My parents have been married for 50+ years, while I divorced my daughter's dad before she was 2 years old and never remarried. I see a big difference in her life and mine. I love that my parents are still together after so many years. It has always been a great comfort to view them as a cohesive unit of support.
    I've decided that the stuff falling through the cracks is confetti and I'm having a party! ~Betsy Cañas Garmon

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    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Very inspiring article, thank you for sharing.
    I personally like being married, but I discovered that marriage is not something you put in automatic pilot and forget it. It takes a lot of work to keep a marriage in the air.
    You know it's love when the pain of being apart is greater than the pain of being together.

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    Dwc
    Dwc is offline OWYM AG 16YRS
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    1love: Same. Although in contrast, my parents are divorced and in some dysfunctional manner married again for property investment sake and to-date hates each other every day. Right there in front of me is unfortunately an example of what a marriage shouldn't be, this unloving and divided. My husband's parents are entirely in contrast, very loving and very together. I see the positive influence their relationship have on their children.

    Just to share, during my marriage prep (its a course required by couples at our church before or right after marriage), we were taught how very often couples make their children as the nucleus of the family once they are born, which almost always becomes the reason for many conflicts and division among couples. That is wrong to do so. Marriages are not designed to be so. Children should never become the nucleus. The couple should always remain as the nucleus and their children will naturally fall in place with their parents' nucleus as their pillar. Just by looking at the number of break ups, unhappiness by a lot of couples adopting otherwise, it became obvious to us how true that is. Some of our friends confessed to that mistake, and ended in divorce. Every time we see a couple unhappy because of children, its always because they put their children first and forsake their sacred position to be the nucleus of the family as husband and wife. To bond and work together.

    By no offence to you or anyone who may not have religious beliefs. For the sake of purely sharing what I was taught which we found very enlightening to our relationship. We were given relationship diagram of a triangle that encompass (God, husband and wife), the counselors asked when children arrives what becomes of the relationship, and many replied "diamond" (God, husband, wife and children) - they've added children into the nucleus. And the answer is "wrong", the relationship should never change - its always and should be the triangular model. Not even parents or parents-in-law or friends or relatives or siblings should reside over any couple's relationship, the bondage of husband and wife should always comes first.

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    SLK: Ymw . Likewise. Just to share too, during our marriage prep (via our church counselling required for couples getting married/newly wed). Marriage is really to bring our growth as a person closer to our maker. The one relationship that teaches us to be giving at free will, cultivating true love, to be less & less selfish, to give rather than to take. Marriages are designed to bring us closer to God. It's definitely does not palatable to a lot of people, especially to non-believers, even myself was pleasantly surprised. I was reminded, no one knows how a marriage works better than the one who created it in the first place, follow His design and everything will fall in place. We obeyed and it became an amazing journey. It is a lot of work, a lot of giving up of selfishness, giving up pride, giving up resentments, giving up judgement, to have forgiveness, the list goes on.

    There is a book I'd like to recommend to you to consider for reading: "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas. My husband and I were required to read & discuss it with our counsellors during our marriage prep. It is very enlightening and has opened our eyes to a lot of teachings of what enrichment there are in a marriage.

    Thanks to both of you for sharing your thoughts
    Last edited by Dwc; 01-28-2013 at 05:29 AM.
    Jonathan44 likes this.

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