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Thread: friend is suicidal and seems committed.

  1. #16
    truckman Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Ashley20 View Post
    Of course we ALL know by now it's just a cry for attention.
    True, until they pull the trigger or jump. Then it's no longer a cry, and too late to help unless you considering scraping their brains off whatever, "help".

    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuffins View Post
    First, let's err on the side of caution. If someone is threatening suicide, they need help.
    Bingo.

  2. #17
    Angel's Avatar
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    I'm glad your friend is agreeing to some kind of intervention and I hope it works for her.

    I recently hit a really low place emotionally I think due to revisiting some past traumas in therapy. I've never felt that low before and I was pretty committed to shooting myself and vocalized this desire to my husband and therapist out of hopelessness. My husband took time off work, it was that bad. Had he not been there to lean on, I'm pretty sure I would have taken my life last month. I can't say for sure how/why I didn't do it, I don't have much perspective right now about anything. I don't want to talk to anyone, not even my husband or therapist. I wish I could box these memories away again and forget....

    I know a couple of my friends notice something is off with me by my recent behaviors, but I have to protect my mental state so I don't spiral again emotionally so I've avoided anything that would anger or upset me. I'm no longer feeling suicidal but this place isn't much better. I feel empty and black, and unable to figure out what emotions I should trust. I wouldn't share any of this but I hope no one disregards her threats. Being in this emotionally charged place is dangerous and just to get relief I could easily see someone doing something for attention that results in an unintentional death. I know my motivation was needing relief from the pain. When suicide starts feeling comforting it's a bad place to be regardless of motivation.

    I hope you are taking care of yourself. This has to be emotionally draining on you, too.



    ...I'm trying very hard not to delete this post so if it disappears I hope you got to read it first GG. I didn't expect writing this to sort of f* me up, but it is. I'm going to try and walk away and forget about it, but if it disappears I'm sorry. :/
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  3. #18
    christina923 is offline Senior Member
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    sorry to hear you went/are going through that angel. sometimes certain things are put away for a reason, not all things need to be "explored" again. you were healthy and whole before ...the body/mind does know how to heal itself.... sometimes therapy does more harm then good. let the issues go, put them away again.
    Last edited by christina923; 01-10-2013 at 04:29 PM.

  4. #19
    Ashley20 is offline Member
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    Originally Posted by Ashley20
    Of course we ALL know by now it's just a cry for attention.


    Quote Originally Posted by truckman View Post
    True, until they pull the trigger or jump. Then it's no longer a cry, and too late to help unless you considering scraping their brains off whatever, "help".



    Bingo.

    one sentence taken out of context can say anything..the media does that EVERYDAy.if reading my post said that and that alone it would be ENTIRELY different..but that is not what my post said if you read entire post.i says the person I am speaking of has done it for 3 YEARS , and that if a person is HELL BENT on doing it NOTHING will stop them.ALSO it would be next to impossible to moniter a person 24 7 unless they were hospitalized in an institution.at this point I stand by what I said and have nothing else I care to add.
    "Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views."
    William F. Buckley, Jr.....

  5. #20
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
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    In my own experience, therapy can have mixed results.
    In my opinion, therapy is not a one recipe that you can apply to all and succeed, simply because people are very different. Some people benefit from recalling traumas from the past, others do not.
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  6. #21
    gorillagirl Guest
    She cancelled her 8 person dinner party for tonite and is now with her guy pal headed to the emergency room for an evaluation after 2 days of uncontrollable sobbing. She's 50. Hormonal?

  7. #22
    soul is offline Senior Member
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    GG, I had thought when you said her ex BF had intervened and had managed to alay her from doing anything for the "moment", added with the 'neither would let you know what they'd planned' that he might have offered to marry her.

    I agree with others who have said counciling isn't always the right way to go. It's not always healthy to re open a can of worms and rehash traumatic experiences or feelings. There is a point I believe where you can unwittingly nurture the feeling like a 'victim' by not laying things to rest.





    Angel, I hope last month was your darkest hour that you ever have to experience and that things improve dramaticially for you.
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  8. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by christina923 View Post
    sorry to hear you went/are going through that angel. sometimes certain things are put away for a reason, not all things need to be "explored" again. you were healthy and whole before ...the body/mind does know how to heal itself.... sometimes therapy does more harm then good. let the issues go, put them away again.
    AMEN!

    I went to therapy for a long time and felt like it messed me up worse than what I'd actually gone through. After a while, I quit going. Now I know that I was was seeing therapists who either weren't very good, weren't a good match for me, or a bit of both.

    Six or seven years ago, I saw a doctor who practices behavioral medicine and he explained to me why I felt like talking about it made me worse. What we know about memory--traumatic memories in particular--is that when we recall those events (which we have to do, in order to talk about them), it triggers the exact same chemical response within our bodies as the events did when they happened. It actually re-traumatizes you.

    Now, when something happens that drags up the past, I have a "litmus test" for therapists who claim to specialize in treating trauma. Dealing with trauma is not like overcoming an outright phobia, an unreasonable fear, or a bad behavior. A person who's gone through something horrible does not need to be forced to talk about those events, re-examine them, and try to change the way you feel about them. If something brings it up, that's the time to deal with it. If it doesn't come up on its own, it's best left alone. Forcing the issue isn't good.

    Angel, I am so, so sorry you had that experience. That would be enough to make me change therapists.

    I'm glad your husband was able to stay with you and is supportive as you recover.

    *hugs*

    MM
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  9. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by gorillagirl View Post
    She cancelled her 8 person dinner party for tonite and is now with her guy pal headed to the emergency room for an evaluation after 2 days of uncontrollable sobbing. She's 50. Hormonal?
    Thank the powers that be that the guy pal is taking her to the ER.

    It could be a lot of things--hormones, her disposition, early onset dementia, early onset of some other age-related disease, etc. At least the trip to the ER is a step in the right direction.

    MM
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    "Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson

  10. #25
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gorillagirl View Post
    She cancelled her 8 person dinner party for tonite and is now with her guy pal headed to the emergency room for an evaluation after 2 days of uncontrollable sobbing. She's 50. Hormonal?
    Two days of uncontrollable sobbing sounds chemical. Some chemical in her brain is depleted. She needs medication.
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  11. #26
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    Absolutely hormones play into this, how could they not? ALso, Anger.... She sounds like she wants vidication and wants to hurt her parents. She wants to hurt people who destroyed her life. Its sounds like seething anger and revenge.

    I feel bad for her, the sobbing sounds like a break thru from the anger maybe? She may be an athiest but God bless her all the same. Hope it works out.

  12. #27
    Angel's Avatar
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    Thanks for the kind words and, yes, I immediately changed therapists. I have an excellent one now who is allowing me to sort of guide what we talk about in therapy. I'm no longer feeling suicidal and starting to feel hopeful again even after having a rough start to 2013 (major car repairs).

    GG, I don't know if your friend would benefit but my current therapist has me doing DBT and EMDR therapy. I'm not sure if it would apply to her, but for someone with the trauma I have, it is working wonders. I feel better able to manage my panic attacks (I just had one today that didn't cause me to run from the world) and memories. I'm not sure why she is feeling so unable to manage but I believe with the right help (meds, therapy, naturopathic, or whatever works) she will find her way back. Saying she's overwhelmed and unable to manage and allowing someone to help are huge steps to take to getting back to normal. Time will tell the motivation driving her need to harm herself.

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  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angel View Post
    Thanks for the kind words and, yes, I immediately changed therapists. I have an excellent one now who is allowing me to sort of guide what we talk about in therapy. I'm no longer feeling suicidal and starting to feel hopeful again even after having a rough start to 2013 (major car repairs).

    Oh, Angel, I am so glad to hear that.

    I once received a referral to a psychiatrist for medication monitoring. The next thing I knew, he (mis)diagnosed me with bipolar disorder type II, put me on Lithium, had me in weekly psychotherapy to talk about my abusive childhood and I was a basket case. I quit seeing him, quit taking the Lithium, went to another doctor, called my insurance company to complain and bluntly told them that if he wanted to use me as a study subject, he could pay me $110/hr instead of the other way around.

    Apparently I wasn't the only one who had a problem with this doctor. The insurance company launched an investigation, the doctor was fined for insurance fraud, the state suspended his medical license, and he was barred from receiving federal funds (can't receive payment through CHAMPUS/TriCare, Medicaid, Medicare, VA, public health, etc.). Even if he found a job in another state, his options were limited.

    Is the EMDR therapy similar to the EFT tapping? I recently attended a half-day training session that touched upon using EFT tapping to control stress, and found it very interesting.

    I'm sorry your year got off to a rough start, but am so, so happy that you've begun to feel better. You are an amazing, beautiful woman who means much to many of us on this forum. You deserve wellness and bliss.

    MM
    "Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it." ~ Marianne Williamson

  14. #29
    Angel's Avatar
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    Thanks MM

    EMDR is different from EFT. EMDR utilizes eye movement to reduce anxiety. Here is the Wiki on it which will likely explain it better than I can: Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    I've just started EMDR so it is too early for me to say if I see any noticeable difference. I'm doing very well with DBT therapy and was able to tolerate and distract myself from a pretty bad panic attack yesterday. I was so happy to not have it rule my day.

    I think it might be awesome to start a thread in the other forum talking about the different types of therapy folks have tried, why, and if they felt it helped. There's so many different treatments out there.

    GG, any update on your friend?
    there before the threshold, I saw a brighter world beyond myself

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  15. #30
    gorillagirl Guest
    Angel,
    So relieved to hear you are doing better. I've been feeling totally stressed and depressed for several reasons I won't discuss in public but I'm finding St. John's Wort to be helpful. Today I took a hike with my suicidal friend and another gal pal. She is (her words) "hanging by a thread." I am beginning to feel the same way. Must be menopause kicking in. I don't have my uterus, just my ovaries, so I really have no clue where I am in my menopause, if at all, and my medical insurance just expired so...no clue. But that overwhelming sadness has just hit me really hard also.

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