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Thread: How long does is take to fall in love?

  1. #1
    Mama Guest

    How long does is take to fall in love?

    I mean the process, if start is when you enter into a serious relationship and being "fully" in love is when you have verbally stated it & feel sure you love him/her & he/she loves you. How long does it - or should it - REALLY take?

    I'm an intense & emotional person. I bond with people easily, I can see the good & ignore the bad in people, I'm very affectionate, expressive & interactive, I'm a hopeless romantic. I've made bad choices because it's been hard to hold off feelings of attachment long enough to make a smart choice.

    My goal is to make a smart choice (& I believe I have done so, but am still getting to know him), but I don't want to smother affection so much that it injures potential for love if this IS a good choice. I don't think I'm doing that, but this is the first time I haven't jumped in the deep end & I just don't know if there is such a thing as too slow, like to lose momentum & potential for a strong bond.

    Realistically I've loved him for a long time, but I have avoided premature or extreme attachment or romantic obsession. He has really guided me through it, though, & I'm not even sure if he does it intentionally. I can't ask him because we haven't said those 3 magic words.

    But it IS happening. One of us brings up the topic of love or performs a loving act a little more often as time goes on, and the talk or behavior becomes a little stronger or more direct each time. Most recently he gave me a book & wrote "To Meredith with Love." But if I say too much he somehow puts my brakes on for me, like when I asked him, "what'll happen if I fall in love with you?" & he answered, "oh, no. I knew I should've stayed in bed a few more hours." I wonder if he just knows I'm potentially passionately reckless. It feels like he's setting the pace. Sometimes it's frustrating, I'm chomping at the bit, this is new & unfamiliar to me, but I like it because I feel like I have control & he's not just totally taking advantage of me like a lot of people will do to an emotional ball of putty.

    I'm using temperance, not just jumping all over him real fast like I always did in past relationships. He doesn't react well to jumpy love. He responds to kind acts & he is very attentive and kind to me. If I had to guess, I'd say he is falling in love with me, & I with him. I like his lead. But, since this is a very different variation of falling in love than I'm used to, I don't know what is really normal, or best, or, or, or WHAT!

  2. #2
    kathyw Guest
    How long does is take to fall in love?

    It depends on the person.

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