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View Poll Results: How Long Have You Been a Committed YM/OW Couple?

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  • Under 1 Year

    2 5.13%
  • 1-2 Years

    6 15.38%
  • 2-5 Years

    11 28.21%
  • 5-8 Years

    9 23.08%
  • 8-10 Years

    7 17.95%
  • 10-12 Years

    2 5.13%
  • 12_15 years

    1 2.56%
  • More than 15 years!

    1 2.56%
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Thread: Longevity: How Long Have You Been With Your YM?

  1. #1
    special K's Avatar
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    Smile Longevity: How Long Have You Been With Your YM?

    So, you have been in a committed relationship with your younger man for a while now...please select the year-range on the poll to reflect how long it's been (exclusive relationships only for this poll, please as in: committed boyfriend/girlfriend, partners, or marriage). If you have just been dating for a while, but still not exclusive with him-nor talking long term yet, hold off on "voting" in the poll; but please read on to be encouraged that these AGR's can and DO work long term. Thank you!
    Last edited by special K; 04-13-2012 at 01:09 AM.
    "What the caterpillar sees as the end of the world, the butterfly calls wings."

  2. #2
    special K's Avatar
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    I'll go first...
    Jake and I met in July of 2004..he was 25, I was 47. We are now 33 and 55 . We were exclusive after about a month, and married 3 years later in June of 2007. We didn't live together before we married, and we honeymooned in Italy! Jake is unlike all the other men in my life prior: he is NOT an artist (they always broke my heart in the past and were so confusing!!), and he is the most honest man I have ever known.

    He has always been proud and open about me/us from day 1...and consequently our age gap has been virtually ignored by all of our family and friends who love and accept us 100%. THAT has made the journey pretty easy, actually, and I am grateful. We are not perfect, but we are "normal" like every same-age couple we know... we plan to be together for the long haul. I am so thankful he came into my life nearly 8 years ago now.
    "What the caterpillar sees as the end of the world, the butterfly calls wings."

  3. #3
    Angel's Avatar
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    We met when he was 18 and I was 32. It will be 7 years in a couple months that we've been a couple, and in September it will be 3 years that we've been married. We have a supportive family, a lot of chemistry between each other, and I can't imagine sharing my life with anyone else. He is my match and I love and appreciate him.

    ------------

    Figured I should add our story since others have shared. We had a chance meeting while both playing a game (Everquest) and ended up in a pick-up group together (pick-up groups are groups of people, usually strangers, that will group together to complete a task). Our personalities clicked and we became fast friends until one night after a run he asked me to park our characters somewhere private and talk over Yahoo. I had no idea he was about to confess his feelings for me, and once he did I found myself thinking of him too. I tried to deny things but he was persistent and one day I came home and he told me to check my email. When I did there was a copy of the ticket he purchased to come see me. I remember panicking and him saying eventually we have to see if there's anything really there so I agreed to the visit. Obviously the visit went well because he never left!
    Last edited by Angel; 04-12-2012 at 03:42 AM.
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  4. #4
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    joesbabygirl is offline Senior Member
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    We met while playing an online game together when he joined my guild, that was about April 2007. We became friends, chatting on ventrilo while playing. He used to talk to me about girl problems, one story that stays in my head happened at Halloween 2007. I joined his facebook early Oct.2007. We became exclusive April 1 2008 even though we had never met. ( The dates are funny and were never intentional, which is why Im showing them ). We met for the first time early Oct. 2008, and then didnt see each other again until the first week of April 2009. We got engaged Christmas 2009 and started immigration process April 2010. I went to the American Consulate Oct. 2010 and was approved to move to the USA, and we were married April 1 2011.
    I am 14 years, and 2 months older than him, except for my mother, ( who had a problem with it, but she couldnt really say anything because her brother married a woman about 20 years younger than him, she was 18 when they got together, he was in his mid. 30s. they have been together over 25 years now, and my mother adores her. ) No one that cared about me had a problem with the age gap. For his side, its a non issue with everyone.
    1love and VenusDarkStar like this.

  5. #5
    walkersam is offline Senior Member
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    Ya'll are an inspiration to the rest of us!
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  6. #6
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    We met online. The official story is that we met in a political chat room discussing the Iraq war. The real story is that we met in a Sex Chat room, and we >eventually< ended up discussing the Iraq war.

    As a cyberer he was awesome, we sparked each other's buttons and we added each other as friends. The nice thing was that after cybering, we always stayed talking to each other about politics, our lives, music, movies. Our first phone sex was fantastic, he has a deep sexy voice that is wow.... maybe I should move my post to sexually speaking(?)... anyways... enough about sex.

    We became online bf/gf. We were supposed to be exclusive but there were some initial issues about it. Unline most online bf/gf relationships that last only a couple weeks, we kept at it. We talked for hours and could not get enough of each other. We enjoyed each other's company.

    We met for real in Nov 2003. I kept travelling to the US every 4 to 6 months to see him. During those trips we had blizzards, car problems, health problems, work problems, you name it. During my last trip, he quit his job. Several months later he traveled to Panama in December 2005, initially for 3 months, then for longer periods. We lived together without getting married. Migration issues started being a problem, (we took the wrong migration path - Marakeesh Agreement) and because he did not have a proper work permit, he could not get a job, but just do odd things like getting English students, helping out at my company, or medical tourism.

    His lack of a steady income, and his inactivity, started becoming a bigger and bigger issue so we separated in 2009. My friends and family were thrilled! I received great support. I tried to put him behind me. During the 9-month separation I tried to finalize the break up, and arrange for sending all his stuff back to the US. He would have none of it, he rejected the break up. Regardless, I packed all his things, gave away some of his clothes to the poor, and was ready to either ship the rest or dump it. I called him, to get his final instructions about his stuff, and to get him to understand that we were really done. (I was tentatively going out with someone else). I remember my mom was at my apartment at the time and witnessed this 2-hour break-up marathon that resulted in me throwing up and getting dizzy and fainty with this massive head ache. As my mom was watching me get sicker and sicker she finally said "you love this man too much, don't keep trying to break up"... and she left us alone for the patching-up.

    This patching up was discussed as thouroughly as any treaty between two nations. The only viable option was marriage, so he could get a green card. Because our relationship had been so rocky, neither of us wanted to get married. But that was the only way. We decided for a secret marriage of convenience that nobody had to know about. For practical purposes I did tell my son (angry and horrified), and my mom (happy). He told his grandma who told his mother (who got pissed about the secrecy), and his father. So he came to Panama, and we married a rainy August afternoon, without any dear ones in attendance, at this messy Notary, where there was this crazy random photographer who took our pictures and had the wedding march on his cellphone and played it for us after we were done. It was so tacky it was magical.

    Eventually Nick got a temporary green card, and he got a nice job. Things are much smoother, and our biggest concern now is hearing if we passed our second marriage interview (we failed the first one). We are happy with each other, and our lives are normal.

    Sorry if the story is too long, but after all, it is a 9 year story.
    Last edited by SheLikesKitties; 04-14-2012 at 09:12 AM.
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  7. #7
    laurad121 is offline Senior Member
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    Tom and I first met in May 2010. We became friends and hung out at the bar together a lot and finally took it to the next level in August 2010 with me making the first move. We were dating since August 2010 but Tom had a problem about the label "girlfriend/boyfriend" though neither of us was seeing anyone else. He told me he loved me in March 2011 and said he wanted to say it for the longest time. So we have been a couple since August 2010 which he agrees about although he didn't start using the label of calling me his girlfriend until March 2010. So to me we have been together exclusive since August 2010. We met at a bar that he and I where he plays in a pool league. He wasn't initially interested in me in May 2010 but I was right away. I think since we were friends first with attraction growing is better and we are very happy.
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  8. #8
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    We first met after I saw my YM at the store that he was working in at the time (he was 23, I was 40). I literally saw him across the room and there was just something about him that got my attention. So I started going in all the time, trying to work up an excuse to talk to him and when I finally did get a conversation going, it turned out that he had a girlfriend already Having gotten out of a marriage with a guy that cheated on me, I respected the relationship that he had (even though it was a bad one). We kept talking whenever I'd go into the store and, thankfully, that bad relationship ended...but he didn't seem all that into me so I pretty much gave up on him. I figured he'd just be the cute guy at the store and that would be it. Eventually though (after two years of knowing each other), we started talking more and more about shared interests and things started to progress. That's when he*finally* realized that he liked me too and we set up a date. Since that date, we've been together and it's been the most amazing year and a half of my life. He is everything that I ever hoped to find in a person, but only recently figured out that I deserved. I have no idea how I ever thought that what I felt for anyone before was love, because this is awesome in the truest sense of the word. I always tell him that he was the guy I was meant to be with all along...I just had to wait for him to be born and grow up

  9. #9
    SheLikesKitties's Avatar
    SheLikesKitties is offline OW/YM 21YR GAP
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    Quote Originally Posted by laurad121 View Post
    Tom had a problem about the label "girlfriend/boyfriend" though neither of us was seeing anyone else.
    I never liked that label either. I hated that label so much that, before we were married, I would try and avoid introducing him when I met people. It sounded so high school, at least in Spanish.

  10. #10
    Angel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SheLikesKitties View Post
    I never liked that label either. I hated that label so much that, before we were married, I would try and avoid introducing him when I met people. It sounded so high school, at least in Spanish.
    I agree. Even in English it sounds very immature. I hated referring to him as my boyfriend. I don't know why, but it made me even more aware that I was dating a younger man when I'd refer to him as my boyfriend. Once we became engaged I found it easier to call him my fiancé, and made things feel more grown-up.
    Last edited by Angel; 04-11-2012 at 10:27 PM.
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  11. #11
    degausser is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angel View Post
    I agree. Even in English it sounds very immature. I hated referring to him as my boyfriend. I don't know why, but it made me even more aware that I was dating a younger man when I'd refer to him as my boyfriend. Once we became engaged I found it easier to call him my fiancé, and made things feel more grown-up.
    Haha I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates the term "boyfriend". It makes me feel like I'm 14. It feels especially silly considering my BOYfriend will be 42 tomorrow. Recently a friend of mine was complaining about the same thing...she thinks there should be a certain point in your life where your boyfriend becomes your manfriend.
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  12. #12
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    Sweetie28 is offline Mark's girl
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    In November, Mark and I will be married for three years but together for four.
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  13. #13
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    Chris and i met playing a free mmo around August 2005. We were in the same guild and started off as friends. We met Dec 2005 - he was 18 and i was 35. We have been together since, we have an amazing life together now. We were LDR for over 5 years (we lived in same time zone but about 700 miles apart). He moved to Florida a year ago. We are happy, living a fulfilling (and as many people here know, a non-traditional) healthy life together that has not the first focus anymore on our 17 1/2 year age difference
    SheLikesKitties and 1love like this.
    ~ You are a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here, and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should ~



  14. #14
    Sweetie28's Avatar
    Sweetie28 is offline Mark's girl
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    Oops I didn't see that this thread was for YM/OW! I'm sorry



  15. #15
    laurad121 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by degausser View Post
    Haha I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates the term "boyfriend". It makes me feel like I'm 14. It feels especially silly considering my BOYfriend will be 42 tomorrow. Recently a friend of mine was complaining about the same thing...she thinks there should be a certain point in your life where your boyfriend becomes your manfriend.
    When strangers ask if Tom and I are together (which men seem to ask me a lot ) and I usually answer "yes he is my man" or if I am a bit tipsy I say "yes he is my hot man"
    VenusDarkStar and Angel like this.

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