Anxiety...how many people can relate to how i'm feeling?

[manofmisteree]

This comes from the latest blog i've written. I'm hoping someone has had similar experiences. It's always nice to be able to relate to someone and not feel so odd.

"Here I was thinking I was feeling better...

I haven't had a "BAD" attack since about May. I start thinking maybe they're gone for good. Well, this morning my body decided to let me know otherwise. Around 2am I start feeling disoriented, have trouble breathing, and my heart is pounding to a point that I really want to go to the doctor. After about 10 minutes I start to calm down a little bit. Unfortunately hours late i'm still short of breath...even yawning is a challenge.

The realistic side of my brain is telling me that this was just an anxiety attack and i'm fine otherwise if it where something serious i'd already be on the ground dead rather than typing this. However, the paranoid side of my brain is telling me "why the hell did that happen?" "maybe there's something life threatning like a damaged heart valve, or not enough oxygen is getting to my brain, blocked artery, or maybe something else really serious is going on with me."

Unfortunately when this happens the paranoid part of my brain takes over a good portion of the time having me analyze these symptoms and why they're happening. This just leaves me very worried, short of breath, unable to sleep and very anxious. I'm really sick of not feeling good. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't have at least one symptom of anxiety...I just try to hide it in front of people so they don't worry. The worse is whenever I go eat out. I'm felling fine then after 20 minutes of eating my meal I start to feel nauseous and this feeling of fatigue overwhelms me...kinda like an anxiety attack may be approaching. People are always asking me "Are you all right, you don't look so good." I always try to reassure them "i'm fine, just a little tired," when in reality I feel like crap. Usually I just stick it out until I feel better which takes about 30 minutes.

I wish I could make these feelings go away...I really don't want to take medications and I don't want to talk to a psychologist. It's really difficult for me...especially when I have to explain how i'm feeling to a doctor. I have a hard time expressing my thoughts and emotions verbally...it's just so much easier through written word. I know I'm fine but it just feels almost impossible to convince myself there's nothing serious wrong with me and i'm not going to meet an impending doom.

This has not been an easier year...probably one of the toughest i've had to deal with in my life. All I want is to have these feelings go away and successfully complete the upcoming school year so I can have that bachelors degree.



...a girlfriend would be nice too, but that's a blog entry for another day."

 

[cindee]

Good morning, manofmistree . . .

I haven't had the opportunity to read your history on here but my heart goes out to you. My mother suffers from anxiety attacks and a lot of the time it is brought on by eating. She sometimes has troubling swallowing and then panics thinking her throat will close up and she will suffocate.

I know you say that you do not want to talk to a psychologist or take medications, but I really wish you would reconsider. My mom was given a medication that she can put under her tongue when she feels the onset of an attack. She said it is quite reassuring to know that soon the symptoms will disappear.

As far as seeking some professional help . . . I was seeing a psychologist for years due to the verbal abuse I suffered being married to an alcoholic. The woman I went to was gentle and kind. She made it easy to pour out my heart, which ultimately lead me to gain strength and take control of my life.

I wish you well. You have a great future in store! :bighug:

 

[kindanice]

Gosh Mano. I'm sorry you have those attacks. I use to have anxiety attacks. Thank God I havent had a bad one in a very looonng time. When I went through a lot of stress a couple of years ago, I could feel them start to come on. But I never did have a full blown attack.
I have been to the emercency room a few times in the past. I mean like several years ago. After I finally realized what it was, I stopped going because there was nothing they would do for it. They offered me a paper bag to breath into once. And of course they wanted me to see my regular Dr. and get some pills for my nerves. But my symptoms were chest pain, shortness of breath, tingling arms and face. And this is terrible, but I even had my face draw to one side on a couple of occasions. It looked kind of like Bells Palsy. My left arm would draw up and I couldnt use it for a while. It is a very scary thing to go through. I mean...it felt like the end was near!
I guess I havent had any attacks because my life is relatively calm now. Thank God! And I mean that!!
I do think that the more you stress over the attacks, the more likely you are to go into another one. I know it seems impossible, but try to remain calm if an attack starts. I found it would lessen the severity of the attack if I tried to not get to worked up over it.
I am assuming that you did get checked out to make sure there were no physical problems.
Hang in there. Things will surely get better.:yes:
*Hug*

 

[Bella]

Paul, m'love, you're not alone, by a long shot. The fact that it's happening in the middle of the night makes me think its not just anxiety.

The middle of the night stuff is sometimes caused by GERD, acid reflux. I started getting better (mentally) when a very sympathetic doctor sat next to my bed, with his boots propped on the bed, and gave me an education on acid-base imbalance. Knowing WHY I felt like I felt, made it easier to cope with when it happened.

When you over acid your metabolism, you speed up your breathing to try to rid your body of it, which blows off too much carbon dioxide, which your body is trying to balance, making you feel, in a word or two, like dog crap. And it's a circle effect, trying to balance things out. Also, since the stomach is so close to the heart, if it's bulging, and refluxing, it can actually cause a little pressure on the heart lining, which is what can be causing palpitations, and some of the fast heartbeat. The more you try to breathe because of that feeling of not being able to breathe, the more carbon dioxide you blow off, and yada yada.

Try taking a Tagamet, or something similar about an hour before you go to bed. You can also try propping the head of your bed up with a couple of books under each leg so you're at a 45 degree angle.

You can have silent reflux your whole life, and never even have heartburn, but it can be splashing up while you sleep, or lie down, and be causing havoc in there.

I know you don't much like going to the doctor, and it's really hard to find one who takes this stuff seriously, but it can mean the difference between making yourself crazy, and making things better.

If you got scoped, I'd be willing to bet you're having reflux problems.

Nothing wrong with a light med to help either. Klonopin in a low dose helps take the edge off.

Oh, and contrary to not eating after dinner, a small something that's high carb, like a piece of toast, or some cereal, or something helps too.

Want another secret, this one backed up by science? Crossword puzzles. If you read, or watch TV to try to take your mind off of how you're feeling, you only use half your brain, and the chain continues. If you do crosswords, you go back and forth from hemisphere to hemisphere and it helps break that chain. It's hard to make yourself sit down with a book of crosswords, when you literally feel like you're probably in your death throes, but it really does help.

I was in major bad shape in my mid twenties with this, I have a small episode a couple of times a year now, mostly when I'm really stressed about something, but knowing what works for me really helps.

You know where I am if you want to talk, ok?

 

[Bella]

One more thing, it really is a physical thing, a counsellor can help with the being scared part, and what might be making you feel stressed, but the anxiety attack itself, is a really physical manifestation of what's happening inside your body, and your body's attempt to fix it.

Don't ever let anyone make you feel like it's all in your head. The cause might be, but the result sure as heck is real.

Big hugs.

 

[BellaLove]

Marijuana does wonders for anxiety sufferers. And I'm dead serious about this. I have anxiety attacks every so often and if I smoke a little marijuana I immediately feel calm and able to focus once again. It's better than taking a perscription drug that will most likely hurt you in the long run.

 

[submart]

Ah, I have panic disorder but my symptoms can last for days! HOWEVER, if I take Xanax all my symptoms immediately go away. I also saw a counselor for this condition.

I now have only a couple attacks per year and most are brief and go away on their own!! I tend have panic attacks during stressful situations (life change, death in family, etc).

Well, I encourage you to speak with your your primary doc who will do a physical exam. If the slate is clean ask to be referred to a psychiatrist or psychologist. It all depends if you are willing to try meds for a short time to help during the attacks.

 

[jellybean400]

Marijuana does wonders for anxiety sufferers. And I'm dead serious about this. I have anxiety attacks every so often and if I smoke a little marijuana I immediately feel calm and able to focus once again. It's better than taking a perscription drug that will most likely hurt you in the long run.

True.

I have sufferred from them for years. Xanax is the only prescription drug that has ever helped, and sometimes to get a prescription for that is like pulling teeth...

 

[Bella]

Only prob is, Bella, I had my first ever anxiety attack after smoking pot. Sometimes it happens that way.

Happened every time I smoked after that, except for if I smoked some fiendishly expensive import.

Not worth the hassle.

 

[BellaLove]

Only prob is, Bella, I had my first ever anxiety attack after smoking pot. Sometimes it happens that way.

Happened every time I smoked after that, except for if I smoked some fiendishly expensive import.

You are absolutely right. It varies from person to person...just like medications...some help...some don't. And there are many different types of pot to experiment with too.

 

[scott2075]

Ah yes...Panic attacks! I am soooo familiar with this and I'm surprised to see how it affects so many people! It runs in my family. My mom has it, I have it and my brother has it. Its funny how Bella mentions heartburns that cause anxiety attacks b/c I have acid reflux and when it acts up, that is when I am anxious.

I had my first attack when I was falling asleep. Before all of this, I was prescribed zoloft b/c the doc said I was "depressed". I gave it time and it didn't work so I quit it. Then a few weeks later, I decided to try it again, and that night I had a panic attack. I was just falling asleep, not thinking about anything negative, then suddenly a strange tingling was happening in my body. Of course, this made me freak out somewhat. Then it just kept getting worse from there. Every pain I had, I thought I was gonna die, and that started my attack. Meditation helped somewhat. So, I gave in and started taking Effexor. It helped me somewhat but it made me gain 40 lbs! This has happened to my brother too! I decided I wasn't going to be dependant on the pills and slowly got off of them myself, b/c I tell you, getting on those pills is a nightmare!!! Hard to get on them, hard to get off. It has taken me a couple years to get them really under control. It is unrational fear that gets me. When I feel the feeling come on, I stop and assess the situation and tell myself its all in my head. My brother suggested that you should look at other people around you and say to yourself, if everyone else isnt worried, why should you? The mind is an extremely powerful tool and when you use it right, you can overcome. I'm still working on myself everyday, and the only time I get a tingling feeling is when I go to a dentist, etc.. They are few and far b/t, if ever now. Looking up helps sometimes too.

 

[Faith47]

Dear Mano,
Funny how we think we are the only one suffering from anxiety and than one person like you open up and than you realise you are NOT alone.

I suffer from GAD. Me, it started 5 years ago. It fell on me like a ton of bricks I wasnt expecting. One second I was ok, the second after I was running after by breath. I couldnt breathe. Or so I tought. I was hyperventilating. I went to the emergency room like 4 times, saw different doctors at clinics and even saw a lung specialist. Nohthing! Of course,there is physiological symptoms. It is not just in our head but its not an illness that causes those symptoms. I highly recommend to you to go see a doctor, and check your heart, lungs, etc...mostly to reassure you. That will help you alot to bring down the anxiety attacks when they happen. Than after you can try alternative methods if you dont want to use medications. There is many ways. Natural remedies, exercise is good (that is what I have read), meditation, relaxation methods. There is many ways to help you.

If my attacks wouldnt have been as bad as they were (it was chronic) I would of go the alternative way but I didnt really have a choice. I take Effexor and rivotril (small dosage) and it does help me. I almost stop recently. I was getting off Effexor for months (little by little) and doing great than bang it started again but for me it creates such a psychological distress I can not deal with it. Its just too much for me.

I work at a stressful job and I never stopped working cause of it. Some times have been tough but living with anxiety disorder is nothing to be ashamed of. Its still taboo though. If a person has diabetes nobody is going to think bad of that person because he needs to take insuline. But someone with an anxiety disorder. Another story.

You know, I have been fighting the fact that I do suffer from anxiety since it started. I do take medication but been trying andtrying to get off and someone told me when you will stop fighting this and accept your disorder as a part of who you are you will be happier. Its true.

Whichever path you choose to help you with your anxiety go for it but please, dont stay like that without doing nothing. It aint just going to go away on its own.
There is always an underlying reason to people suffering from anxiety and that is what you need to address in my opinion.

:bighug:
Jocelyne

 

[jellybean400]

My problem with my panic attacks is that they happen not at home, but out in public and very often at work, and i feel like i'm going to pass out, and then i get into my head that an ambulance wont get to me in time

But its awful...

I tell my psycho-lady that, and she swears she'll cure me so i can go back to work in a "few weeks" ...i cant imagine how. My b/p goes so high when i have them that they send me home from work.

 

[Angel]

I can't help but think...why don't you print out what you posted and hand it to your doctor and tell him I have bad anxiety attacks?

Not addressing it, or believing you can fix it without some intervention won't help. After all, you would have fixed it by now if you could have, right?

I don't have anxiety attacks, I have OCD/ADD. Really bad OCD and ADD. (I'm nuts, I'm tellin' ya!)

If something hooks my attention I'll just recycle it over and over again for hours. I've listened to one song for like 2 days straight. I almost drove everyone insane. I'll eat the same food for a month. Everyday. Same thing.

I can't focus on anything but that item, which is a kicker because of the ADD. So while I can focus on that one thing, I can't focus on anything else and I can't control what that 'thing' will be. It's extremely frustrating and has affected everything in my life (from paying bills to holding a job).

I'm prone to remembering a phone number/license plate for days.

At my worst, I sat shaking in a chair because I felt like my nerve endings were wired and I couldn't make it stop.

I can't imagine the fear you have gripping you, but I can relate to how frustrating it is to lose control of your own body. It's terrible and I hope it helps to know you aren't alone out there.

For me, running and gardening helped in conjunction with medicine (Wellbutrin).

It's been a night and day change for me. It doesn't stop things from happening but it greatly improved my life.

I used to hate taking medicine, but I got to the point that if it helps me control myself then it's worth it for me. Life is much more enjoyable like this than it was like that. I still obsess, but nothing like I used to.

Hope you're feeling better today.

 

[theREALTrish]

I've taken Valerian Root for anxiety. It's a completely natural supplement that you can buy at Walmart. It's very inexpensive and I take it as needed.

It might not be a bad idea to have a couple of counseling sessions just to talk about things. Even if you have trouble expressing yourself verbally, a counselor will know how and what questions to ask to make it easier for you to express your thoughts and feelings.

Sometimes just a few sessions will help get to basics of what's causing the anxiety. Much of it could be the fact that you're almost finished with school and then adult life really begins. Not that you haven't been living an adult life, but finishing college is a major transition.

It might sound trite and I definitely don't want to seem condescending but you're going to be fine. There's nothing seriously wrong with you. Trust me. I have all the faith in the world in you.

Oh, one other thing.....caffeine will really make anxiety worse, so try cutting back or eliminating it all together. That means more rest and less Red Bull.

 

[freespirit]

actually from a mental health perspective it can sometimes take a lifetime to work through anxiety issues and I know of people who have immense difficulty even with CBT and medication....sometimes the root cause of anxiety disorders can be a trauma which the person struggles a lot to get to in order to resolve it.....

my daughter suffers from anxiety disorder and has developed obsessive compulsive disorder as a result, medication is useful as is therapy, but it has taken over her life to the extent she is restricted in what she can do on a daily basis in regards to work, study etc......it can be immensly debilitating as Im sure you know Angel......she ruminates over numbers etc, sometimes she has to count to a number and she has to do it so many times, and if she stuffs up once she has to go back to the beginning and start all over....this can take days, especially if she is interrupted!!! Sleep is also an issue as she goes over and over her worries and stressors and then wakes up tired the next day

Mano dont leave it, keep searching for help till you find someone you can work with....and stay off the red bull!!!

 

[manofmisteree]

Good morning, manofmistree . . .

My mother suffers from anxiety attacks and a lot of the time it is brought on by eating. She sometimes has troubling swallowing and then panics thinking her throat will close up and she will suffocate.

I know you say that you do not want to talk to a psychologist or take medications, but I really wish you would reconsider. My mom was given a medication that she can put under her tongue when she feels the onset of an attack. She said it is quite reassuring to know that soon the symptoms will disappear.

Hello cindee, thanks for your reply.

Anxiety attacks are certainly not fun and when it comes to eating i can relate to your mother. i don't understand how eating causes this symptoms but it often does. today was the first time in a long time i was able to eat a meal with out feeling the symptoms.

as for medications, the doctor had me try zolofft and xanax but it made me terrible. i can't begin to describe the mental/emotional roller coaster i was going though on those drugs combined...especially the zolofft. nowadays i always keep a bottle of xanax in my pocket as well as water for emergencies.

 

[manofmisteree]

When I went through a lot of stress a couple of years ago, I could feel them start to come on...
I have been to the emergency room a few times in the past. I mean like several years ago. After I finally realized what it was, I stopped going because there was nothing they would do for it. They offered me a paper bag to breath into once. And of course they wanted me to see my regular Dr. and get some pills for my nerves. But my symptoms were chest pain, shortness of breath, tingling arms and face. And this is terrible, but I even had my face draw to one side on a couple of occasions. It looked kind of like Bells Palsy. My left arm would draw up and I couldn't use it for a while. It is a very scary thing to go through. I mean...it felt like the end was near!

I do think that the more you stress over the attacks, the more likely you are to go into another one. I know it seems impossible, but try to remain calm if an attack starts. I found it would lessen the severity of the attack if I tried to not get to worked up over it.
I am assuming that you did get checked out to make sure there were no physical problems.
Hang in there. Things will surely get better.:yes:
*Hug*

Hey kinda, your symptoms sound exactly like the ones i was going through from the chest pain to the tingling all over...it was so bad i also had to go to the ER twice. They also ran tests on my but found nothing, they also tried to give me pills which made me feel terrible. People can say "oh, you're fine it's just anxiety" but when it actually happens it feels serious.

Lately they haven't been nearly as severe but they're still there.

I try not to stress about the attacks but I'm sure you know that it's easier said than done. the slightest bit of discomfort can trigger them. at times I'm just watching tv not thinking about it and I'll just breath heavy all of sudden.

 

[manofmisteree]

Paul, m'love, you're not alone, by a long shot. The fact that it's happening in the middle of the night makes me think its not just anxiety.

The middle of the night stuff is sometimes caused by GERD, acid reflux. I started getting better (mentally) when a very sympathetic doctor sat next to my bed, with his boots propped on the bed, and gave me an education on acid-base imbalance. Knowing WHY I felt like I felt, made it easier to cope with when it happened.

When you over acid your metabolism, you speed up your breathing to try to rid your body of it, which blows off too much carbon dioxide, which your body is trying to balance, making you feel, in a word or two, like dog crap. And it's a circle effect, trying to balance things out. Also, since the stomach is so close to the heart, if it's bulging, and refluxing, it can actually cause a little pressure on the heart lining, which is what can be causing palpitations, and some of the fast heartbeat. The more you try to breathe because of that feeling of not being able to breathe, the more carbon dioxide you blow off, and yada yada.

Try taking a Tagamet, or something similar about an hour before you go to bed. You can also try propping the head of your bed up with a couple of books under each leg so you're at a 45 degree angle.

You can have silent reflux your whole life, and never even have heartburn, but it can be splashing up while you sleep, or lie down, and be causing havoc in there.

I know you don't much like going to the doctor, and it's really hard to find one who takes this stuff seriously, but it can mean the difference between making yourself crazy, and making things better.

If you got scoped, I'd be willing to bet you're having reflux problems.

Nothing wrong with a light med to help either. Klonopin in a low dose helps take the edge off.

Oh, and contrary to not eating after dinner, a small something that's high carb, like a piece of toast, or some cereal, or something helps too.

Want another secret, this one backed up by science? Crossword puzzles. If you read, or watch TV to try to take your mind off of how you're feeling, you only use half your brain, and the chain continues. If you do crosswords, you go back and forth from hemisphere to hemisphere and it helps break that chain. It's hard to make yourself sit down with a book of crosswords, when you literally feel like you're probably in your death throes, but it really does help.

I was in major bad shape in my mid twenties with this, I have a small episode a couple of times a year now, mostly when I'm really stressed about something, but knowing what works for me really helps.

You know where I am if you want to talk, ok?

Yes Bella my hottie, i know i'm not the only one that has these but it's always nice to know someone personally that has been in a similar situation. it gives a better sense of not feeling a lone.

I'll had to research this acid reflux. I do know that this summer it has been very hard for me to sleep at night. I'd always feel anxious and terrible....on a regular basis i wouldn't be able to sleep until about 5-6am then i'd wake up around 1 or 2pm. Even then i never really felt like i slept well.

You know what's crazy...I've found that playing my instrument helps me feel better. it keeps my mind occupied on playing and focusing...however two days i didn't feel well enough to even do that. i also tried watching television or surfing the net however my mind is able to wander more easily causing these attacks.

thanks for your suggestions I'll look into everything you've mentioned.

 

[manofmisteree]

Don't ever let anyone make you feel like it's all in your head. The cause might be, but the result sure as heck is real.

Big hugs.

Thank you! That's just it...everyone keeps saying it's in your head but it frustrates me because physically it does feel real and it's certainly NOT fun!