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Hello and a Little About My First OM Date


New member
Although I have always been attracted to older men, I haven't actually moved beyond pining for them until recently.

I am a YW (27) and he is 41. We met at work. We still work together, but I am moving locations for a promotion at the end of next month in the same county- so long distance isn't an issue.

I joined this community because I hope it will offer me insights into the future of this budding romance and possible future relationships should this one not work out. I am not only delving into the previously uncharted territory of dating an older man but also of being involved with someone who has an ex-wife and two young children (6 and 10- great ages!)

I have never been so giddy after a first date, and I have been on MANY. I suppose this is a means of introducing myself as well as sharing my positive experience with this amazing person.

I already had a good idea he was interested. I doubted myself occasionally- thinking he was flirting just for the thrill of it and that he might recoil if I called him for a date because of my age and because we worked together, with him as my superior (note: not my boss). It had been over a week since he suggested we spend time together outside of the office. Getting a little antsy waiting for him to invite me out, I finally just asked him when we was free to see "our movie." I've never been one to shirk at being the initiator.

We would meet at his house two nights later. The evening of our date came, and I was staying to the last few seconds of my shift- not because I had anything I needed to do; I was just incredibly nervous. I was wiping sweat from my palms that have never been known to sweat and there was a flutter in my chest. I read through some advice columns about pre-date jitters, then said '**** it!" aloud and played some music I could sing along to on the drive over so that I wouldn't hear the anxious voices floating around in my head.

I relaxed immediately upon seeing him. I remembered this was not some uncomfortable, high-stakes interview I was about to go into. I was simply going to spend the evening with a man who made me laugh, who was easy to talk to about anything, and who thought I was beautiful and interesting.

He was waiting for me on his porch in a shirt unbuttoned just one button too low. He had on a bit too much cologne and nearly drove through his garage while trying to back out of it. He was nervous too, and it was **** endearing.

The movie kept us laughing and we had plenty to talk about at dinner afterwards. There was never a moment of discomfort for me, and I sensed it was the same for him. Being with him felt natural and good. We were entirely ourselves and the other was more than happy about that.

Eventually we went back to his house for a last drink. He turned on some TV as a thinly veiled attempt to get me to stay longer. I made a point to sit on a section of the couch that he could easily slide right next to- which he did. He finally got up the courage to put his hand on my thigh and that was that. He kissed me so tenderly on my lips and my neck that I actually felt faint from excitement. He had my legs across his lap and stroked them while his eyes scanned my body, as if he was planning on recalling it later. I wanted him so badly, but I made up my mind that sex should wait. I wanted to prove to myself that I could curb my impulses, so I said as he kissed me and ran his hands through my hair, "Can we pretend I'm classy enough to hold off on this until at least our next date?" His response was that we didn't have to pretend because I was classy enough and he promptly grabbed my shoes for me and walked me to my car.

Since this encounter, he has let me know he wants to see me (from what it appears, regularly) and even initiated conversations with me via text (something he is not prone to doing). Today he sent me a picture of his completely precious little boys at a museum, which gives me hopes that he is willing and may eventually be ready to share this other part of his life with me.

So there you have it! Nice to meet you all.


:) Great beginning for a new relationship.

My only advice to you is to postpone meeting his children until things are very very serious, for the children's sake. I hope things work out great! Keep us posted. :)


New member
:) Great beginning for a new relationship.

My only advice to you is to postpone meeting his children until things are very very serious, for the children's sake. I hope things work out great! Keep us posted. :)

Sounds like good advice. I am being particularly cautious in that regard. I appreciate the knowledge and perspective.