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hesitant and confused



Hello Everybody,
My first post. Please, be gentle. Apologise if I'm doing this wrong. I am so full of questions! My first ym/ow encounter. Not a relation -- yet.
I am so grateful to find this site. After reading numerous posts, I emailed my ym to thank him for making me feel beautiful. He immediatly emailed back with loving words. He sends me txt, everyday, throughout the day, while working.
A little background info - ages are - 45/60, blk/wht, 400 mi. apart. He is athletic, buff, has a career, not just a job, never married, no children. I am sz 14/16 and have recently given up my career to accept early retirement (Haven't mentioned retirement to him yet), widow, children, grandchildren. I have brought up all issues because, they are just that.
He is pursuing me. I am attracted to him. At the very least we want to be BFF. We have alluded to being more. He tells me he has a strong attraction for me. Likes mature, white, BBW. I have never considered ym/ow before but when I look around at the men my age that are as energetic as I want, they are seeking yw. Couldn't understand why he is wanting me. I asked him to enlighten me. As soon as I IM those words, my phone was ringing. We talked for an hour. He, trying to convince me that he wants me. Me, admits he is slowly breaking thru my wall of resistance, concerned about family objections. I have grown children. All family would be shocked. Some would accept, some would alienate. He is very persistant. Says he knows what he wants. Even agrees to be discrete. That he understands my concerns and the world's attitude. How do you decide what price you are willing to pay for happiness?
Before reading posts on here, I thought he probably thinks of me as a lonely, desperate, widow. Have had white y/m admit think they are doing me a favor. NOT.
I am so torn between my heart and my head. Am I nuts to even consider it?


I don't think you are nuts to consider it, but I do think you need to spend some real in person time with him. What you get through e-mail and online chat can be a very real or very superficial. Talking on the phone is a step in right direction. I used to be of the belief that you can tell a lot through on online connection if you take your time and let it play out slowly. As I become more open about having met my YM online and I talk to more women about their own experiences, I am coming to the conclusion that I was just damned lucky! :eek: