What's new
Ageless Love

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

How do I love you:

H

hotmomma

Guest
Like I would see Heaven with my own eyes, and still be alive...

Like you were born for me, I remember what I was doing the day you were born...21 years ago.

Like I could shelter you from all bad and all lies.

Like God made me just for you, the boys and His Glory.

Hello everybody,


This is my first post, but have been here for a while...at least 3 years...You all are my comfort and joy, in my silent moments.

Just a quick review of my life:

Married at 20, had a son that died as a newborn by 22, then twin boys by 24. The boys are great, awesome, the light of my life.

I live in Europe, my husband is American.
The love of my life was 17 at the time.
I did not ask for him, did not want to end my marriage...I thought I was happy. Then he came and spoke nicely to me, was interested in me, noticed me. I fell in love. Stupid me, never, truly, really, have been in love before.

I just wanted to write my feelings down...the relationship was basically one sided,my side, never had sex.

I feel like I cant live without him, cant go to sleep without thinking of him,I see him on the streets and in my dreams. I havent seen or spoken to him in over 3 years.

I feel as though I had one chance at true love and never happened.

I am physically involved in my marriage, fully occupied with the boys.
A small precentage of my heart and mind is always with him. I wish I could be whole again. I wish I could stop feeling crippled.


14 year age difference, he is 21 now.

Please forgive my rambling...you are all in my prayers.
 

kitkat620

wishful thinker
hi. you are right, this site is great for browsing for insight and answers to some of the questions we might have concerning our relationships or life in general.
sometimes just posting your thoughts helps. i have done that. it is like an online diary with an occasional expression of thoughtfulness or slap in the face...ha.

you sound very confused and sad and i feel for you. i think the best way to deal with regret is to move forward and leave that regretful action in the past. you have not lost the one chance at a great love. it just didn't come at the right time in your life. your feelings sound very powerful, and if you want him, he will be yours. i truly believe that.

maybe someday, somehow, somewhere, things will come into focus and you will again be faced with that ultimate happiness that you deserve. and maybe this time, that happiness will be so 'in your face' you will not be able to avoid it.

stay happy and positive and give your whole love to your children. it sounds like they have a great mom.

dont give up on your fantasies and visions of happiness with this person. i do it all the time and if anything, it makes me smile. it isn't silly at all to imagine a life with the one person you feel can give you great love.

good luck to you and stay happy.
 

SheLikesKitties

OW/YM 21YR GAP
You wrote a beautiful post. You describe your love in a very nurturing way, almost like the love of a mother. A love that is for giving and not for receiving.

When one has a love like yours, one has to treasure it as the most pure expression of the heart. Something that never was, like a flower that never bloomed. Feel happy thinking that you now know how it feels to be in love, even if it was one sided.

You must also treasure reality for what it is, and strive to make it better. There are stages in a woman's life, when her role is that of a mother and not of a lover, but the time will come when the children will leave the nest, and when you will be able to be a lover again. Keep your love for your husband ready for when that stage comes.
 
H

hotmomma

Guest
Thank you everyone for wonderful responses...the boys and I are having a wonderful summer vacation, went swimming today, cleaned, cooked, worked.

Is it normal that after 3 years, I still tear up when I think of him? I feel some pain lingering on, my body and soul does not want to let him go...We have been no contact for the past 3 years, but I still feel him so close to me.

Thank you again for your attention to my invented or real pains.:bighug:
 

xhenli

New member
Maybe you are like me. I don't stop loving anyone, ever. I still love the crush I had when I was 9 years old and he was 12. I love him all through high school. I still love him and I always will. He is part of how I became who I am.

But I am realistic to know that it doesn't mean I should be with him now (in my case).

But's it's still a valuable love to me.
 

Bellydancer

Live your dreams!
So this is the song that touches on the story of my life and contains my advice to you dear lady.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhrIS01XFEk&feature=related[/YOUTUBE]

Great song Orchid. I've never heard it before. I had a tear in my eye when I listened to it. Hope you are doing ok. :bighug:

Hotmomma, it's a fantasy and there is nothing wrong with that. If you feel pain, then the pain is real. Hope you find some peace. :grouphug:
 
Top