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i have a question, not exactly on topic...

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bellachella1

Guest
i recently joined this site, then due to having to have my phone number abruptly changed, had to redo my dsl, etc due to this....i actually also owe a pm to someone as well, but i will get to that...right now i am wondering if anyone has ever had an issue of being stalked on the net...?
if so, what did you do? i have been stalked by the same idiot now for the better part of four years...have had to change my phone number now four times, and had to move twice. recently he again managed to locate me, and has posted my name and address on the net numerous times. he followed up this most recent discovery of my location by sending me a very veiled threat in a valentine...and yes before you even say it, i am spooked as hell...but i have been since all this started and moreso as it escalates.
the fbi cannot do anything, neither can my local police, i am told, until and unless he actually shows up here at my home and acts on his threats.given the nature of the threats, i might not be around to take action should that occur. i honestly do not know where else to turn on something like this...does anyone know of any similar situations and how they did or did not get dealt with? feel free to pm me if you would rather not post it, but i would be just so grateful for any info anyone might have.
thanks...:)

BC
 
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Patricia

Guest
Can't you get a restraining order against him? If you have everything documented and can print out all the messages and maybe do some extra investigation to gain further evidence, then you should have a convincing package for the judge.
 
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bellachella1

Guest
according to the police here...i need it non-internet threats...not the old phone messages from three years ago or the internet bragging about coming to rape and kill me...he is in another state out east...not here, which also makes a difference.
 
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RobsGirl

Guest
I have a stalker. She's bugged the crap out of me both on and off the net. Each state has different stalking laws that you need to look into immediately - both your state and his.

If you have current email threats from this man, turn him into his ISP.
You haven't set up what's known as "the trail", which sort of puts you at a disadvantage, but it's never too late to start. Document everything. File complaints with your local police anyway - they HAVE to create a file if you demand it. They can't arrest the guy, but it will be documented that you made a formal complaint. Also complain to the police department where he's located, if possible. Two threatening emails should be enough to land you a restraining order, no matter what they've told you, because it implies intent.

You've now changed your number again. Go to Radio Shack and pick up one of those phone recorders, any call you get from him, record it. Any call you get from him, no matter the content, because you've made it clear that you want no contact, needs to be reported. As with 'real life' stalkings, you must be viligant and stay on top of the situation. Should this person post your name and pertinent information anywhere on the net, then you can nail him. It's illegal. Keep a close eye on your computer - make sure that your firewall is secure and that your virus protection is up to date at all times. My stalker wiped out my old computer twice via embedded virus emails. She was also good at sending emails that couldn't be opened unless you sent them back to yourself and then they weren't admissable in court because you'd mailed them back to yourself in an attempt to open them. These people are very intelligent and quite cagey - the threats could be real, they could also be little but control mechanisms. Ultimately, that is what stalking is about anyway - control. The victim has to take control of that and move forward. It's your life, take it back.
 
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RobsGirl

Guest
And another thing - lol - the police did you a disservice in not telling you that, given that this guy is coming from another state? He's committing a federal crime. Interstate stalking is more than a simple felony.
 
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Thunder

Guest
Molly is right...interstate stalking is a Federal Crime...after reading your post I went and looked it up and came across a couple of websites that may help you...Good Luck!

http://www.ncvc.org/src/Legislation/federalstatute.html

http://www.usdoj.gov/usao/cac/vw/Interstate Stalking Is A Crime.html


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Patricia

Guest
I also believe that you should be able to get a restraining order. You have to have the evidence required, though. Don't believe just what the police have told you. If you look on your state's website, you may find the whole process explained and outlined. The State of California has a lot of good info about restraining orders on their website, so your state might, too. You might also want to take your whole package to a lawyer first for one of those free consultations through a lawyer referral service. I got a restraining order against my boyfriend's ex-wife, who was trying to kill me, in October 2002. It is a demanding, stressful process which can be dangerous, but if you persist, it can pay off. The free meeting with the lawyer helped immensely, but I had already done a lot of work on my own, so understood what he told me and had pertinent questions ready. If you can afford it, get a lawyer to handle the whole thing for you.
 
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candygirl

Guest
I'm sorry you're having to go thru this..

Wow....what an experience!!! The folks on here have given you very sage advice. I dont really have anything to add.....just want to send u a hug to give u strenth and courage. Remember people who do stalk are are "small individuals' with weak minds. But u still need to be wary and protect yourself. I'll bet if you were to confront him and come from a position of strength and blast him w/a a forceful e-mail he'd probably quake in his cyber-boots. In my early 20's I had an exboyfriend who stalked me...he would park outside my my apt. to watch and see who came/went. He'd show up at my work, threatened my family, left menacing notes on my windshield. made menacing phone calls...threatened to post my pic w/my address on a school bulletin...ya know the typical stalker MO.

I did what I could, I called the cops(he'd be gone by the time they got there and then call me to taunt me about it) , cops said they couldn't arrest him just becuz he'd left notes on my windshield or showed up at work and I was furious!!!
Now before I go on, I AM NOT RECOMMENDING YOU DO THIS......but it worked for me. I got so fed up w/the authorities not doing anything....I shared what I was going thru w/a friend of mine.....well the friend took it upon themselves to throw a brick through the window of his precious car(of course this is after they "keyed" his car) w/a note attached that said...."If you don't leave her alone, next time it'll be your legs!!!" My stalker called me and was fuming!!! He told me was going to kill me, my family, my best friend...etc. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about(I didn't) and that he should report it to the cops and that I had no knowledge of what transpired......well since he didn't know who had done this and had no idea who to look out for....he called me one last time about 2 days later to tell me that he wouldn't be bothering me anymore......haven't heard or seen him since!!! See...they're weak individuals...

Best of luck to you....be safe!!!
 
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