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Ibiza-Spain

Mebel

OWYM AG 29 yrs
Little update,
What a year we both, Kevin and I, have! Synchronicity in dealing with,and caring for both our parents.So suddenly.
We brought them to hospitals ,several times already, going in and out.. his father and my mother.
It is a blessing for us, both, that we can support eachother in love so great.
The end of all these sickness is not in sight. His father, so young, has gotten the hardest news about his healthcondition one week ago.

I do not know what is wise, but we are still continuing planning a short vacation next month: 2 okt-10 okt.:) Recharging our batteries,for heavy times to come, as Zingagirl once said to me! It would be good and so now we plan.
We love to fly to the sun:yes: to Spain. This is going to be our first real holiday together, flying through the sky with the love of our life.
 
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Mebel

OWYM AG 29 yrs
Thank you very much SLK! Yes, so true! We cherish all happines.:rose:
 
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zingagirl

New member
Yay! Recharging your batteries!

Hey Mebel!
This is really good to hear! I hope you guys have a wonderful time, full of laughter and lots of happy memories! :yes:
 

trolleycar

I still play with trains
Hi Mebel
It has been a while since I spoke you.
I am sorry about the health issues you find your selves in at this time.
and it is a lot more draining then the person who's health has turned poor is one's Mom or Dad.
That sounds like what I went thought with my Mom and Dad and later on with my sister
You and your boy friend will want and need your R&R. Also keep your since of humor. the need to laugh to very important.
My prayers are with you.
And most definitely take the vacation it will at least take your mind off the other problems. I hear Spain is beautiful but what wrong with beautiful Upstate New York.
I know someone that would be happy to show you two around. Namely me :bgrin2::)
If you need or want talk to someone feel free to PM me. AS I have been where you are at now
Again my prayers are are with you


Love Bob
 

1love

Active member
Mebel, I am sending hugs to you both. I hope you enjoy your vacation. So sorry to hear about your family members' declining health.
 

Mebel

OWYM AG 29 yrs
So very, very sweet you both!
Thank you!
Yesterdayevening i made our reservations!
Right at the seashore our hotel! What a marvelous view!
A healing time it will be!
 

Mebel

OWYM AG 29 yrs
A blessing time it is! Also!
Two day's ago my mother celebrated her 85 birthday with lots of family and her friends etc.!
A miracle in and of itself, cause we all thought we loose her almost for sure this last summer.She has recovered and was very happy her whole B-day.
Since ten days, I can sleep in my own house and bed again, after 3 months of nursing her at her place. That day, I could tell all people there that I am going on holiday with Kevin. Bought fly tickets and how excited I am about this possibility. From all angles people responded immediately;that I really deserve it! It came directly from their hearts, i was moved and my tears came.

We both are still having a tough time, but especially Kevin!
His father's ca.is not treatable. This fierce news. Just one week ago. Just after ending all the chemotherapy, and everyone optimistic,looked healed, these cells suddenly spreaded to vital organs. A new chapter starts;
Kevin feels his task in this.Yesterday he told me, he wants to take care for his father, from this moment on, and be there for him. If it is given,,the coming months will be tough.
I do not know, what is possible or how much support we can create. I do not know if we feel free to go on this vacation. All I know is that I admire the strenghs I see, in Kevin.
A blessing is that my family and friends see this in him too! And I see and feel how they care for us.
Never any concern from them about our age difference. But time will tell more, how equipted we are for dealing with this all. I will update you here.
 

Mebel

OWYM AG 29 yrs
I am with Kevin at this moment.
Yesterday ,early in the morning we received a phonecall that his father was in hospital suddenly.We drove to him. It appears he had that night high cancerfever. For the first time, and scaring.
We took care of his belongings, went to his house and brought him clothes and feed his 4 cats.
The only treatment he gets is a dubble dosis morphine and some other pain relieve.
It is possible that we bring him back home again today. We wait for that call now.
Meanwhile are we searching to find a good caring shelter for his cats for times to come. At this moment his father does not want to say goodbye to his dear cats.
 

Redhead

New member
I wish both of you strength. (You know how my life has been affected by the topic.)
I don't know what else to say but my thoughts are with the two of you.
 

trolleycar

I still play with trains
Hi Mebel
Sorry to hear the turn for Kevin's Dad . But I am happy that you had a good time at your mom's 85th Birthday.
The one things the scare me is what will happen the my pets if any thing happens to me.
They are my family as this point . I was dreaming about my Girl friend and when I woke up thinking she was next to me. Well it was Waldo the dog a sleep and Chessis the one cat a sleep on my chest and the other cat Patches was sleeping between my legs and Ralph the other dog was sleeping at the bottom of the bed.
The one thing I made sure that once Debby and I are married that if any thing happens you before the animals are gone that she keep them. and she assured that they are part of the family.
Tell Kevin I will pray for his Dad. There is little else that I can do to help though.
If there is any thing I can do to help PM me
BOB
 

Stiletto

New member
My brother went through this with his last wife. My thoughts are with you, you are both blessed to have supportive family.
 

Mebel

OWYM AG 29 yrs
Thank you all so much for all your replies and support!
We are both reading them.

I am nurse enough to know that the end is coming soon. His father is still having fevers and stays in hospital . I see him go to a hospice within a weektime. That arrangement is already spoken of and can be made quick.
Kevin's family is very smal. And just the four of us ,close together in this.
He and his brother with his girlfriend ,and me.
His mother is out of sight, she could not cope with her man's sickness. The moment he went through his first chemoshot , she left him,house and all, behind her. Divorced him in the beginning of this year.
She knows from her sons via phone about the terminal situation at this moment, and said that she does not want to be part of it. Or supporting future funeral.
It is tragic and difficult to understand.

I liked her alot. She is my age.
Since dayone, three yrs ago , I have felt myself so very welcome in the house of my ym parents.
They seemed to be close caring for eachother, and looking happy.
Kevin was still living there when we met. So I saw them many times. Two Christmascelebrations together.
All has changed.
The house sold, his father sick, and alone living in a small appartement with only her dear cats around him. She left them too, so easely, it seems.

Loosing both your parents in one year is beyond words! This is what Kevin is facing.

And all I knew/know and saw is how much his mom loved her both sons. Even today Kevin's father speaks without anger about her. So no fights no arguments and.. there is no other family, from motherside, in all those months making any response contact.
I know his mother has a big family of sisters and brothers. and a grandmother..His father had since childhood no family left.

So it is the four of us and all our friends.
 
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Mebel

OWYM AG 29 yrs
Yes, it is a difficult time, we try to help eachother as much as we can via daily sms and phone. Like we always do, when were not together. We live one hour away from eachother.
My mother needs help everyday. I live in the neighbourhood. After breakfast I come help her take a shower. Help with household,give her daily medicines,cook dinner and eat it with her.
Thank god she has lots of friends and family,who can come, now that she is feeling better! And my sister lives in the same city too.
I have more freetime now, for Kevin !!, my house and my two cats.

Kevin aranged to work less hours everyday. He drives daily to the hospital to his father and afterwards to his fathers house to feed and hug those cats.

Tomorrow evening we see eachother again, I drive to his place. Friday we take one of these cats to a doctor for a healthcheck. And we'll visit his father together.
 
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Stiletto

New member
I'm so sorry to hear about Kevin's mother and her side of the family :(

You never know how people will react to tragedy, my father's death brought out some of the worst in our family too. Most of us are estranged at the best of times.

You are there for each other, and that is a blessing.:grouphug:
 

Mebel

OWYM AG 29 yrs
Thank you Stiletto!
Yes, so true. I have felt it again this year. In crisissituations I can react and do well. That amazes me also everytime. It is afterwards that I get my dips, and need time off to come to my innerpiece and balance again. Some weeks ago,the moment that I saw my mother recover so well, I started to feel emotional and sick. That was the time that we start planning the vacation.
(Well,Kevin and I still need this escape idea! But needless to say that it is not the right time to go)
An other small example is that i went to my yearly dentistcheck yesterday. I really thought that i must have ruined my teeth, because I had not given it much attention this year, because of lack of time and eating not that well. But, again it was nothing to worry about at all. That message gave me energy, having this strong and healthybody. And so again, thank god, in these last few days I feel a lot of power coming in. It must be all your thoughts too! Ofcourse it is not that I drive on crisises, a smooth life is what we all want :), but it sure helps to know how it works.
 
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