Just curious about opinions...

[nauticalstarlot]

Hi; my name is Erin and this is my first post here, or on any forum for that matter, but I'm sort of stuck and could use a little advice. First off, I'm eighteen years old. Before assumptions are made about my situation, I should say that I'm well more mature than several others my age, and have never been able to connect with young men in my stereotypical "age bracket" (18-25), as I generally find them all too immature for my liking. I like to consider myself an intellectual and it's hard to find that in someone else as young as I am. That said, I met a man who is thirty-one. (Yikes. I know.) I met him by accident, actually on a date that I was stood-up for. Originally, I met him in passing in a music store, then met him again in a coffehouse the same night. I wouldn't have imagined him to be, even in his early thirties and struck up conversation, discovering a vast amount of common interests, passions, and hobbies. I've been bruised a few times in past serious relationships, and always considered myself a sort of cynic about love, but somehow talking to this man changes my views. I'm afraid of falling for him (if I haven't yet), but I can't seem to make myself tell him we shouldn't have dinner or go see a movie. Nothing is serious, yet, and I could just be worried about nothing, but I'm simply not sure how to follow through with this relationship, or whether I should at all.
If anyone can relate, or has already been through a situation like mine, feedback and adivce is more than welcome and appreciated.

 

[MerAlove23]

Hi and welcome to ageless....

I would take it slow and date first and see how it goes.... THe age thing can be overcome if you let it........I'm not sure what yoru family life is like.... I am not sure if you live with your parents or what... but they may be a factor in this also......

18 is young and sometimes Snap decisions can be made... however if you take it slow and get to know each other you never know......

 

[deb100855]

Has he asked you for a date yet?

 

[fos4snt]

It is feasible, it isn't anything to *yikes* at yourself about, either. LOL. Deb asks a good question... has he asked you on date yet?

I'm 33. My YM is 19, about to turn 20 in a week. We've been together a year and a half, living together a year and its fabulous. Yes, it was difficult getting over the age gap in the beginning, but its melted away as our relationship progresses. Oh, and we started out as friends.

When I was 20, I dated a guy who was 42. So, I kind of feel like 13 years is a pretty small gap... but its all a matter of perspective.

Take your time, don't LEAP before you look, and enjoy yourself... most importantly, ENJOY yourself.
~phosphorescent

 

[ktvie]

I think you need to take it one step at a time.

I know the feelings at first.. a little excited, unsure, very scared.. the first time my boyfriend and I really kissed (not counting the quick peck we'd shared a few weeks before), I can remember laying there on the ground, savoring this fantastic kiss with a guy who actually had bothered to brush his teeth and use a listerine strip.. and thinking "Oh my God. What am I doing?!"

I kept going though.. the Listerine strip was just too good to pass up. Not everyday you find a guy who actually cares about his first-impression breath.

It was a lot of shaky ground at first. We got along great, but social pressures can be a problem. I'm lucky--when my boyfriend first started showing me interest, I was only a few weeks shy of 21. I also consider myself to be more mature than your average 20-something, but if this relationship had struck when I was 18, well I don't think I could've handled it. In fact, I sit back and wonder if it was touch-and-go at the beginning. Hindsight is 20/20, and I will definitely admit that maybe at the very start of this relationship I wasn't quite as prepared as I could've been. I made a lot of mistakes at the start, and I'm grateful that my OM was wise enough to let me get through them and learn. I think of our relationship the way I think of him: he just gets better and better with age.

Hang in there. If you and this 31-year-old go on a few dates, keep us all updated. If sparks fly, that's wonderful then! But keep your head. When you're young, it's easy to be stupid. I'm glad my boyfriend was forgiving of my mistakes.

But on the other side.. I'm forgiving of his. We make a good team, even if he was 26-years-old when I was born. I just wish the rest of the world would understand that.

Katie

 

[nauticalstarlot]

Re: Just curious about opinons...

To answer the ultimate question, yes he's asked me out, and we went out last night for coffee. As I expected we had a wonderful time - he makes me smile...lol, he makes me feel dizzy, too... By the way, thanks to all of you, (a special thanks to Katie's post), which all helped me sort of level things out in my head. I'll keep you posted.

 

[tenessa125]

I understand you 100%!!!

Hi,
I TOTALLY undertstand where you are coming from. I am in a similar situation as yourself. i am a 18 yr old girl also and i am in a relationship with a 34 yr old man. We have known each other for 6 yrs., and get this, he was my teacher in the 8th grade!!! YIKES i know huh?! well we have always had a special bond with one another and we share alot of the same intrests and goals, i know it might seem a little bit weird. Well i think that maturity and compatability count much more than age does, as long as the two people are secure and comfortable with their relationship, then i think thats all that mattters. I often ask myself if what im doing is wrong, but then i think how somthing that feels so right be wrong? i just cant see it as being wrong, after all we cant help who we fall in love with right?I say if you two really do love eachother then that is all that matters!
well let me know how things are going

tenessa125