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Just feeling blessed


Active member
I've been around forever, here, but for those who are newer and don't know me, my man and I are 28 years apart, and he was not quite 18 when we met. I have a daughter 11 years younger than him, and 3 children older.

It's been over 10 years now. When we started, well, honestly, when I gave in and said ok, lets see if this works, I told myself, if we had 5 years of something as good as it was, I'd have more than some people ever have.

I don't know what I ever did right in my life to deserve double that, with no end in sight.

He's a really, really, good man. No, not perfect by a long shot, but then I am far from perfect myself.

He's seen me through job changes, surgeries, and the changes my body's gone through the last 10 years. Since our one minor bump when we first started out, he's never wavered or given me a reason to doubt his commitment to us. I had major surgery, and have started sleeping with a CPAP this year, and somehow, he still lets me feel sexy. I truly look at him sometimes and wonder if he's blind, or what. He even helps me adjust that stupid mask when I have issues with it.

He still romances me, and loves me a lot. And he's pretty darn hot, too.:tongue2:

We had everything that's warned about in these relationships against us. He still lived at home, he'd never supported himself, he was a virgin.

We had way more naysayers, than supporters, even here.

And yet, here we are, and most of the naysayers, well, there they're not.

We work too much, don't have a lot of time alone. Yesterday, we had a rare day off together, and spent it off alone, and had a lot of fun, in spite of the rain spoiling our day at the zoo we had planned.

I'm not sure what my rambling point is, other than needing to share somewhere where people won't just get nauseous from me being all mushy over him.

Also, that I hope, beyond hope, that others who might be feeling pressured to not trust a very younger man, due to all the "it can't work because" do take a chance on something that might be this good. You have to be smart, of course, but sometimes your heart really does know best.


New member

Thanks for this post Bella! It makes me happy to read your words and that you take the time to share them here still. I am not around as much these days because, well, i have a very busy life and the issues that used to bother me about my relationship with Chris, or the issues that came up here more frequently which resonated with our situation - well, they just don't anymore. Chris and i are doing great 6 years later! Like your situation, Chris turned 18 just a few weeks before we met, he was a senior in high school (that still bothers me a little to actually write but it is something i never think about anymore), he was a virgin, didn't have a drivers license and we lived 750 miles apart.

Against those odds plus the basic statistics of any relationship making it past the initial honeymoon phase, we have built a wonderful life together. Many people here know it's not a tradional lifestyle but we are very happy! After 4 1/2 years of LDR, he finally moved to Florida this past spring and things are better than ever. :) We have a life filled with ups and downs just like anyone else, but our love is strong, our time together fun and our conflicts are worked through better than any other relationship i've ever had in my life. I love Chris so much and his love for me has NEVER wavered. I have no doubts anymore about the validity of our life. Our families are supportive, our friends are supportive, WE are supportive...life is good! I hope to be able to share many more good updates with you guys - i have no reason, not one, to think that won't happen.

So thank you Bella for taking you time to let us know that you are feeling blessed and alowing me to take a moment to stop and reflect on how lucky i am to have such a happy life as welll! :)

Take care,

~ beth


Born 200 years too late
Bella and beth,

GREAT to read about relationships that are going well over the long haul! I am in a relationship with a pretty big age gap (22 1/2 years). I'm 42 and she's 64. We met at the opera. We're approaching our seventh month together. Both of us are hoping that this will wind up in marriage; we are allowing more time to pass in order to keep getting to know more about each other. But we're very much in love! Our relationship is what you might call middle-distance geographically. We live 100 miles apart on the California coast. I'm in L.A. and she's up in Santa Barbara. If things keep going as they are I'll be moving up there to join her.

Let's keep the success stories coming!

cheers, Dave


New member
This post made me feel all warm inside :p My OM and I are 29 years apart, so it's great to hear from other people who have similarly large age gaps!


re feeling blessed

Thank you all for your posts, I really felt good reading them as well. I was feeling unsure lately, he is coming from Germany for Christmas and will meet everyone in my life then. My three sons are all older, my daughter the same age. I am imagining some wierd stuff when I should be positive about it all. It will be the first time we are together and all of what goes with that ;) really scary stuff. I am not the same as I was at 30 or even 40. To read what you all have said reminds me that real love conguers all, is not afraid and is unconditional.

Thanks you all!:yes:


Anger Thrives In A Fool

So happy for you! You were one of the couples I turned to, because, like you, I said the same thing. Just give me a few years of happiness. Just long enough to be the one who wins, just once, in love. I didn't even ask to win forever, just long enough to stop hurting. I know you get that. Six years later I'm speechless at how life just went along through good and bad times and he's still standing in my corner through it all.

I can only imagine the feeling ten years later. It really is an achievement at any age, and I hope the next ten years bless you ten fold!

And, you know me, I had to find a song for ya. I think this one fits many of our happy couples, but I'm gonna dedicate especially to the VY couples, like yours, that are thriving despite the naysayers. I'm so glad you stood strong, and still do.

Love to you both. *raises her glass* Cheers Bella & David!

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New member
Bella, you always have and still do inspire me.

I also hoped for just a few years of happiness.. nearly 2 years ago, and now we're about to be able to actually live together :D

We've already been through quite a lot, I had a cancer scare, my son's illness took a turn for the worse, immigration was HELL. Still we stayed strong even across the distance. It just comes naturally.

Best wishes to you and David :)


Doorperson for my pets!
I am really, REALLY happy you two are still together. I was one of the NAYSAYERS...in my close-minded little world, I didn't see how it would work out, and I always thought you an intelligent woman but didn't trust your instincts. Good thing you trusted your own. I was a naysayer of quite a few relationships here, and happily, quite a few of them proved me wrong! :) I ended up being the one to lose out on my own relationship, but then better things happened in my life that wouldn't have otherwise happened, so I guess our destiny isn't always clear to us in the beginning. You were wise, Bella. You didn't think of it as 'forever after' and I think that might have been instrumental in its success. It was more of a day to day, year to year kind of thing, much more manageable emotionally and realistically. Congrats to you and hoping the best for you both! :)


New member
So glad to hear an "update" Bella! It is inspirational for sure.

I have been approached by young men with a huge age gap 28+years and I have pulled back, too afraid of what might happen. But seeing your story gives me lots more to think about.

It just proves that age is ONLY a number, but maturity knows no age...


Born 200 years too late
I have been approached by young men with a huge age gap 28+years and I have pulled back, too afraid of what might happen. But seeing your story gives me lots more to think about.

It just proves that age is ONLY a number, but maturity knows no age...

Next time this happens, go for him! If you're still in touch with any of these YM, there's room to reconsider . . . :yes: