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Stupid People

Peachy

Lost in Love
I had this e-mailed to me today and had to share the laughs with you all:

In Honor of Stupid People

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).


On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside.

(the shoplifter special)?


On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

(and that would be how???....)


On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(but, it's "just" a suggestion).


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not
turn upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!


On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
heating."

(...and you thought????...)


On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

(but wouldn't this save me more time)?


On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)


On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(and...I'm taking this because???....)


On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor
use only."

(as opposed to...what)?


On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other
use."

(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)


On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)


On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open
packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)


On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does
not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)


On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with
your hands or genitals."

(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
 
S

singalou

Guest
peachy...i have seen a 'shortened' version of this one....geez....u wonder WHO actually WRITES that stuff for labels....they shud hire US...we would come up with something MUCH MORE CREATIVE:D LOL
 
J

Jannie

Guest
I SEE STUPID PEOPLE...ooohhhhhh


HEY YALL, actually, believe it or not, Judge Napalitano says that the reason those labels are on there is because someone sued and won the case, yes that is how many STUPID lawsuits are out there that need to be thrown out!!

THAT was funny Peachy....my windshield protector visor thingy, says PLEASE REMOVE BEFORE DRIVING....duh
 
F

foxyeyes

Guest
U know I see how people are around here.....some people are popluar yet others aren't... then you wonder why some people don't post much or at all since you all stick together like freaking glue on paper....

I posted this exact same thing about a week or so ago and got one person to say hey i even read it... so i deleted it...peachy( nothing personal towards you).....but sometimes I just feel favoritism is played a bit way to much around here...just my feelings anyway...

nice post peachy they were pretty funny :)


~*foxyeyes*~
 

Peachy

Lost in Love
I'm sorry Foxy . . . I'm going to guess the reason I missed your posting of this was because you must have posted it while I was on vacation; otherwise I would have sent you a :D about it!!!
 
A

Adri

Guest
foxyeyes said:
U know I see how people are around here.....some people are popluar yet others aren't... then you wonder why some people don't post much or at all since you all stick together like freaking glue on paper....

I posted this exact same thing about a week or so ago and got one person to say hey i even read it... so i deleted it...peachy( nothing personal towards you).....but sometimes I just feel favoritism is played a bit way to much around here...just my feelings anyway...

nice post peachy they were pretty funny :)


~*foxyeyes*~

I didnt see yours either foxy, but even if i did........... sometimes you just have nothing to add to posts like this one, just read it and have a smile or ....."frankly my dear" what else can you say?
 
U

ukfireball

Guest
I read the warnings of a can of furniture polish 'Do not use this product to clean your contact lenses' Im interested to know the job title of these people. LOL
 
D

Dan_Shues

Guest
Courtesy of Bill Engvall:

THE STUPID SIGN

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a NOBR>U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning...okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

Anybody you know need a sign today?

The next time someone says something stupid ask them where their sign is.
 

Peachy

Lost in Love
Dan_Shues said:
Courtesy of Bill Engvall:

THE STUPID SIGN

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a NOBR>U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning...okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

Anybody you know need a sign today?

The next time someone says something stupid ask them where their sign is.

Dan - - -

I love this guy!!! I have the cassette of this song from when it first came out . . . now he has done at least one more and maybe two. :D
 
X

xminus1

Guest
peachy51 said:



On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."


I think denis leary said it best IT SHOULD SAY DONT MAKE ANY F****** plans.

also I had a teacher in college. Talk about a jet sky that had the warning on the jet. do not aim at anybody parts. I don't want to know why they had to put that on there.
 
D

Dan_Shues

Guest
I always liked Nyquil: The Sleepy, Sneazy how the hell did I wind up on my kitchen floor medicine...

There's a reason they give ya a plastic cup. *LOL*
 
J

Jannie

Guest
THATS OKAY FOXY...NO ONE IS PAYNG ANY ATTENTION TO WHAT I SAID ON HERE EITHER.......LOL They keep asking why these things are on labels....Ill say it again....ITS BECAUSE SOMEONE SUED AND WON....even though its stupid, they have to put it on there, like UK fireball's statement...someone actually sprayed that on their contacts, burned their eyes probably, sued and won.

AND on these threads, usually I just read them but don't respond, so don't feel bad Fox. We love you!!! :)
 
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nafadda

Guest
U know I see how people are around here.....some people are popluar yet others aren't... then you wonder why some people don't post much or at all since you all stick together like freaking glue on paper....

don't let it bother you too much Foxy...I was never all that popular on here,it didn't stop me from posting...some people got it,and for those that didn't....it didn't matter.anyone who read my post's could tell you,I was flamed more then the average poster...you know what...it still didn't matter.i just kept posting...I was even called a "troll"...can you believe that??still kept posting...and guess what ,some people got it(about time).....I would never go along with something,just because it's a popular thing,I did get alot of pm's from people saying how they liked the post's,but were afraid to say it on the board ....I didn't understand that,but as you see,I still just keep posting.

and Foxy,i would never have replied to this post,should I not have seen what you posted.I didn't have anything to say about it.I only reply to ones that I think I can give advice to,(because I've been there),or if I have something funny to say,or just don't get it,or if I totaly disagree with somone's advice.I never post just to see myself post...like I said before,it's how I am IRL..I don't talk just to hear myself talk..I speak when I have something to say;)



I posted this exact same thing about a week or so ago and got one person to say hey i even read it... so i deleted it...

don't let this bother you either..I couldn't tell you how many times I posted something and someone else would say the same thing after I did and someone would say,"thanks for the great advice so and so..you are so smart"...and never even mention that I said the same thing first...oh well...and one time I posted something and someone said how much they liked what so and so said and credited it to someone else:confused: ...what can you do,but laugh it off....hey,I know IRL I'm popular:) :)

don't let it hurt your feelongs,who knows why people do the things they do....but it seems to be getting a little better,and you know what????I just keep posting;) ;)
 
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Moonshadow

Guest
U know I see how people are around here.....some people are popluar yet others aren't... then you wonder why some people don't post much or at all since you all stick together like freaking glue on paper....

I don't think it's a popularity contest at all. Some people have very distinct personalities and we like to read what they have to say because we enjoy their point of view or their style of writing. There are certain posters that I look for, not because I want to pick them for my "team" but because they can make me laugh or think.
 
M

Maria

Guest
Fox,
You know I never ignored you, and was the first to vote for you on the album thing, inciting people to do the same. I am not one to ignore anybody here, but I never saw your thread! And I usually don't answer threads like this, since there's no comment, they are funny for what they are. I commented on one once, I don't remember which one, because everybody was picking one line of their preference and I did the same...I've seen many threads with jokes that nobody commented upon, because it's just like this. And some get no response because they are there in a time or a day where very few people connect. This happens too.
I hope this helps, since many people here might think like you, that there's a kind of "group" being formed, and no, there are people that post more, that's all.
I've been a bit worried about that, that's why I try to make people post, by calling them...the silent ageless members thread is one tentative...and the thread was created one day before you wrote this post.
Like Moon says, some people seem to be more popular because they post more, but who knows, maybe they aren't popular at all, since the other 4000 members don't say anything...
I love to read Mrs. Robinson's posts. I also love Polly's funny posts, she makes me laugh. There are members that post very little and yet they are powerful, like Bella and oh, Almeiraz.
There's no competition here, as far as I am concerned, we laugh together, and we play together, and we sometimes fight, sometimes support, but of course as in real life, some of us are more "outgoing" than others, but I hope it doesn't stop the others to come out and post.
 

Peachy

Lost in Love
For the Record

When I posted this thread, I did not expect a response from anyone. I just thought it was too funny not to share with ya'll.

And I certainly don't feel that I'm a part of some select group within the Ageless group . . . in fact, I feel that all the members of the Ageless group are a select group in itself. I get picked on, ignored and laughed at too sometimes, but hey, that's life and I roll with it. What else can you do?

We're from all over the world, in all age groups, having vastly differing opinions on all kinds of things, but who share a common thread in having a preference that has not been considered the norm in society. Sure, there are those with whom I have formed closer bonds than others and there are those who don't like me at all. That's life too. And I agree with Naf in that no one should go along with anything just because it is the popular opinion, everyone should feel free to express their own views. The important thing is to keep posting and contributing to the Ageless community. In my case, sometimes that contribution is some solid advice, but more often than not it might be humor.

However, it is not humorous that Foxy got her feelings hurt and I do feel badly that I contributed to that even though it was totally unintentional. For that Foxy, I offer my apologies.
 
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nafadda

Guest
[MariaLux]I love to read Mrs. Robinson's posts. I also love Polly's funny posts, she makes me laugh. There are members that post very little and yet they are powerful, like Bella and oh, Almeiraz.[/QUOTE]


ummm,don't you love the rest of them Maria???by naming just certain people you may have hurt someone's feeling's...not mine of course.

I've posted quite often ,even though it took me over a year and a half to post this much,don't want to be in any "club",unless of course it's the "Bunny Club";) and anyone can join that.

:) :)
 
M

Maria

Guest
Nafadda, I am sure nobody took offense to know that I like those member's posts very much. It would never cross my mind that someone would think I don't like him or her just because I mentioned a few names...;)

The only posters here not getting my affection are people who are mean for no reason, or those who keep bugging us with useless arguments just to have fun. I find no fun in it, but then again, I am just me.

And as my favorite Brazilian singer, Zeca Baleiro, says in one of his songs and it's also its title, A minha tribo sou eu...My tribe is Me. I belong to no group.

He goes on singing (for those who can play, here goes a good one):

Eu não sou Cristão (I am not Christian)
Dm Am
Eu não sou ateu (I am not atheist)
Dm
Não sou japa (I am not Japanese)
E7
Não sou chicano (not Hispanic)
Am
Não sou europeu (not European)
Dm
Eu não sou negão (I am not black)
E7 Am
Eu não sou judeu (I am not Jewish)
Dm
Não sou do samba (I am not into Samba)
E7
Nem sou do Rock (I am not into Rock)
Am
Minha tribo sou eu (My tribe is Me)

Actually the guy is a bit of all this...maybe not Japanese, but for the rest, who knows, this is a typical Brazilian mix...no group, no community, just a human being sharing lots of things with many different other human beings.
evilshades.gif
 
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