My Top Tips
Hey everyone!
Well I'm not in a long term AGR anymore but I was in a very successful one for a long time and I'm still dating guys a lot younger. Here's my list of tips, for what they're worth:
1) Treat it like you would any relationship because, in the end, it IS like any other relationship. We all have differences - hair colour, eye colour, skin colour, our occupations, our education, our upbringing, our values, our goals, our sense of humour, how many cats we need to be happy.... It's what's at the core that matters. It's what holds you together.
2) Keep your sense of humour. When other people make remarks about your age gap, treat it like a joke. It is. When someone tells you you're robbing the cradle, say, "I know! I had to hire a transport truck to do it 'cause he's 6'4" and almost 200 lbs!"
3) Think of your relationship as a role model for others. I once heard from my mom about a couple who were deeply in love. He was in his twenties and she was in her forties. His parents refused to allow the relationship to continue. He never dated anyone else. Finally, when both his parents were dead, he went back to her and told her of his love. She had felt the same way and had never dated anyone else either. They married and were blissfully happy but because he was now on in his 60s and she was in her late 80s, she died soon after. What a sad comment on living your life based on other people's expectations. They could have had a lifetime of happiness together. When you defy the gossip and spin, you help others to do the same.
4) Treasure what you've got. This is true for every relationship but we often focus on others' negative remarks about our AGR. So forget about that. When you spend less time thinking about other people and more time thinking about how you can make your partner feel special and treasured, you'll be on the right track to keep your relationship going and growing strong.
5) If there are problems related to your relationship that you think of as "age-related," realize that they are not AGR problems but just problems. For instance, let's say you're past menopause and you think he might want children later. Well there are lots of younger women who can't have kids because of damage done by chlamydia, or an operation that removed their ovaries or a genetic condition they were born with. There are also plenty of younger women who don't want kids EVER, or who had kids when quite young and don't want more, so being younger would not necessarily solve the problem. There's also the possibility of adoption if he changes his mind and wants kids. The wanting/not wanting kids dilemma can be a problem in any relationship. Don't make everything about the AGR just because society does.
